How to deal with acquaintances
prepare 3 questions for a party or occasion 要見(jiàn)不太熟的人的時(shí)提前準(zhǔn)備幾個(gè)問(wèn)題，以免冷場(chǎng)的狀況發(fā)生
問(wèn)do you married？尷尬，如果某人想結(jié)婚而又沒(méi)有結(jié)婚，問(wèn)這個(gè)問(wèn)題就會(huì)put sb on a terrible spot 用What's been going on with the family.替換。
How is your kids?
類(lèi)似的還有What's been going on with the project.
Bring me up-to-date....
It’s up to us to assume the burden, keep on digging. How is your holiday? What is your most favourite....
如何讓聊天繼續(xù)
The best way to show your sincere is to keep digging.但是也不要太過(guò)，像居委會(huì)大媽一樣把隱私全都問(wèn)了。
怎樣一直聊呢？比如：
How is your vacation, Dave?- Good
繼續(xù)問(wèn)what do you do there? How is the food？
How was your day, Sandy?
what kind of things you have to do today?
問(wèn)具體做了什么，而不是只描述感受
Free information (we can use it to start a conversation or keep a conversation going.)
four sources
1.從別人的對(duì)話的描述中得到信息
那個(gè)地方怎么樣？
聽(tīng)到生病或家里人過(guò)世等不好的消息怎么辦
I‘m sorry to hear that you .... are you all right now? what's it like to be...
2.看到一些物品，比如獎(jiǎng)杯,特殊意義的衣服
3. behaviour
1）accent What 's it like in your home town?
foreign accent:what brought you here?what do you missed most about home?what do you like most about?being here?
2）left handed
occasion and location
參加同一個(gè)場(chǎng)合，比如聚會(huì)...what brought here？（你為什么來(lái)）我來(lái)這 the party，
funeral: What's it like for you?
I have nothing to lose. Look what I have gained.就是主動(dòng)說(shuō)了一句話，作者就得到了一個(gè)好的伙伴。就算人家沒(méi)有搭理我我也不損失什么啊，主動(dòng)一步可能就有更多收獲。有想到《被討厭的勇氣》里說(shuō)的，做好自己，對(duì)方的反應(yīng)是無(wú)法控制的。
It's up to us to take the risk and assume the burden to include others.
Listening
1.visual listening?
listen to people with your?eyes.
nod
body language?
2. let them know you are listening to them
what do you mean by that?
tell me more..
along?that?same line, do you think
what proof do you have of that
oh really I see what you mean
give me an example of what you mean by that
what the big picture here? what?would you hope
what happed first/ next?
What's the downside/up side
3.restate the specifics
you say ... this this, so ....重復(fù)他人說(shuō)過(guò)的內(nèi)容，問(wèn)他是這樣嗎？
mentaling
conversation killers
9種討厭的人
其他語(yǔ)言點(diǎn)：let's get down to business
put sb on a?awkward condition
if somebody is not married, but they wish they were.
書(shū)還沒(méi)看，聽(tīng)的演講，應(yīng)該是把主要的內(nèi)容都囊括了。爭(zhēng)取用零散時(shí)間翻一下書(shū)再來(lái)寫(xiě)總結(jié)。
我覺(jué)得首先是自己的心態(tài)要放開(kāi)，不要怕，要敢于主動(dòng)打破僵局。這也是我最欠缺的。下次碰到這種情況就對(duì)自己說(shuō)；I have nothing to lose！
其次要是真誠(chéng)的聊天，用心傾聽(tīng)。
最后才是一些套路。比如說(shuō)你好的時(shí)候，帶上對(duì)方的名字。問(wèn)一些需要具體描述而不是一兩個(gè)字就能回答的問(wèn)題。一來(lái)一回中讓聊天繼續(xù)。
