1.
又見到一個對話，有個觀點再次遇見:
never say you have to do anything.
不要說自己必須去做什么事，而沒有選擇。
對話是學生向作者請假說自己必須去參加一個tennis trip，就不能去上他的課了。
作者反問他“You have to go, or you choose to go? ”
經過一番詢問和回答，作者發(fā)現了他的學生這一行為的原因，如果學生不去參加這次tennis trip就會被逐出隊伍，而他不想這樣的social consequence發(fā)生，與不上課的natural consequence（he guesses he will miss the learning）相比，前者的損失對他影響更大。
便有了作者的分析:
You have to weigh that consequence against the other consequence and make a choice.
最后學生也向作者坦誠了這是自己的一個choose，非something he has to do。
通過這個對話從前到后的語言描述不同，反映的心態(tài)也不一樣，這大概是前文提及的“act or be acted upon”——主動還是被動行動。
也要學會listening to our language，是reactivate language還是proactive language，后者比前者更能體現一種自主性，為自己負責，為自己解決問題。我們需要有這種responsibility。
2.
還有一段話，大約是第三次看見了，還是想記錄下來。
—The feeling of love just isn't there.
—If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her.
—But how do you love when you don't love?
—My friend, love is a verb. Love——the feeling——is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?
3.
這段話也值得仔細體會:
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrifice for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.
這描寫的，我覺得像是高級的“愛”了——“恒愛”。如果拓展一下愛的對象，對于工作，或者我們所做的事，要是能這樣去“愛”，應當也是沒有什么事不能做，沒有什么事不能做得盡善盡美吧。
這種“愛”的能力，需要少一些觀點、偏見，不設限，就單純的去做事，去奉獻吧。要能逐漸像這樣趨近，也是值得過的人生吶。
