? ? ? ? ?Yet even more important than role modeling is love.For even in chaotic and disordered homes genuine love is occasionally present,and from such homes may come self-disciplined children.And not infrequently parents who are professional people--doctors,lawyers,club women and ?philanthropists--who lead lives of strict orderliness and decorum but yet lack love,send children into the world who are as undisciplined and destructive and disorganized as any child from an impoverished and chaotic home.
? ? ? ? 然而甚至比榜樣更為重要的是愛。甚至在混亂無序的家庭里真誠(chéng)的愛偶爾出現(xiàn)，因而從這樣的家庭也會(huì)出現(xiàn)自律的孩子。并不罕見父母是專業(yè)人士--醫(yī)生，律師，俱樂部女會(huì)員和慈善家--過著嚴(yán)格有序和端莊體統(tǒng)的生活但卻缺乏愛，把孩子送進(jìn)放縱、毀滅和混亂的世界如同任何一個(gè)來自貧困和混亂家庭的孩子一樣。
? ? ? ? ? ? Ultimately love is everything.The mystery of love will be examined in later portions of this work.Yet,for the sake of coherency,it may be helpful to make a brief but limited mention of it and its relationship to discipline at this point.
? ? ? ? ? ? 最終愛是一切。愛的奧秘將在這項(xiàng)工作的后續(xù)部分中被檢驗(yàn)。然而，為了一致性的緣故，做一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)短但有限的解釋在這一點(diǎn)上對(duì)它與訓(xùn)練的關(guān)系可能會(huì)有幫助。
? ? ? ? ? ? When we love something it is of value to us,and when something is of value to us we spend time with it,time enjoying it and time taking care of it.Observe a teenager in love with his car and note the time he will spend admiring it ,polishing it ,repairing it,tuning it.Or an older person with a beloved rose garden,and the time spent pruning and mulching and fertilizing and studying it.So it is when we love children;we spend time admiring them and caring for them.We give them our time.
? ? ? ? ? ? 當(dāng)我們愛某物時(shí)，它對(duì)我們是有價(jià)值的，當(dāng)某物對(duì)我們是有價(jià)值的，我們?cè)谒厦婊ㄙM(fèi)時(shí)間，花時(shí)間享受它及花時(shí)間照顧它。觀察一個(gè)十幾歲的孩子愛他的車，并刻錄他將花費(fèi)時(shí)間贊賞它，擦亮它，修理它，調(diào)整它?；蛘咭粋€(gè)老年人愛他的玫瑰園，將花費(fèi)時(shí)間在修枝、覆蓋和施肥以及研究上。因此，當(dāng)我們愛孩子們；我們花時(shí)間贊賞他們和照顧他們。我們給予他們我們的時(shí)間。
? ? ? ? ? ? Good discipline requires time.When we have no time to give our children,or no time that we are willing to give,we don't even observe them closely enough to become aware of when their need for our disciplinary assistance is expressed subtly.If their need for discipline is so gross as to impinge upon our consciousness,we may still ignore the need on the grounds that it's easier to let them have their own way--"I just don't have the energy to deal with them today."Or,finally,if we are impelled into action by their misdeeds and our irritation,we will impose discipline,often brutally,out of anger rather than deliberation,without examing the problem or even taking the time to consider which form of discipline is the most appropriate to that particular problem.
? ? ? ? ? ? 好的訓(xùn)練需要時(shí)間。當(dāng)我們沒有時(shí)間給予我們的孩子們，或者沒有我們?cè)敢饨o予的時(shí)間，我們甚至沒有足夠近距離觀察他們來意識(shí)到當(dāng)他們需要我們的訓(xùn)導(dǎo)協(xié)助時(shí)的隱約的表達(dá)。即使他們對(duì)訓(xùn)導(dǎo)的需要是如此顯而易見以致撞擊我們的意識(shí)，我們?nèi)钥赡芎雎赃@個(gè)需要如同丟在地上讓它們有自己的方式更容易--“我今天沒有精力來處理他們?！被蛘?，最后，如果我們被他們的惡行和我們的惱怒敦促起來行動(dòng)，我們將強(qiáng)行管教，經(jīng)常是野蠻地，出于憤怒而不是深思熟慮，不檢查問題甚至不花時(shí)間考慮對(duì)于那個(gè)特殊的問題哪種管教形式是最合適的。
