? ? ? 在日常生活中，我們大多數(shù)人往往不注重溝通技巧，說出去的話，或許會(huì)讓人不開心、甚至讓人受傷害，這樣的溝通是達(dá)不到溝通的目的和效果的。這種溝通都可以被定義為暴力溝通，那么什么是非暴力溝通呢？非暴力溝通是讓人明白我們的意思，并且讓對方感覺舒服的溝通方式。只有讓對方感覺舒服了，他們才會(huì)采納我們的意見，才能達(dá)到有效溝通的目的。
? ? ? 那么怎樣才能做到非暴力溝通呢？非暴力溝通包括了以下四個(gè)重要的步驟。
? ? ? 第一，觀察而非評論。只陳述客觀事實(shí)，不使用任何帶有感情色彩的詞或評論。
? ? ? 第二，說出感受。在陳述完事實(shí)以后，我們必須說出自己對事情的感受，讓對方明白我們的感受。
? ? ? 第三，說出自己的需要。我們要直接說出自己的需要，而不是通過對他人的指責(zé)、批評、評論和分析來間接的說出自己的需要。直接說出自己的需要，往往能夠得到正面積極的回應(yīng)。
? ? ? 第四，請求。我們要告訴對方，我們希望他們做什么。并且要用非常具體的描述來提出請求，講的越清楚，越有可能得到理想的回應(yīng)。并且我們還要請求他人的反饋，看看對方是否已經(jīng)理解了我們的意思。這里的請求有別于命令，一定不能讓對方覺得我們在命令他們，要注意表達(dá)的語氣。
? ? ? 通過以上四個(gè)溝通步驟，讓對方明確我們的感受和需要，明白我們的請求，達(dá)到讓對方按照我們的想法去行動(dòng)的目的，這樣才是有效的溝通。
Communication is everywhere in our daily life. However, sometimes, we are not good at communicating with others, and tend to upset or even hurt others when talking, although we are not doing this on purpose. This kind of communication is called voilent communication. So in order to communicate efficiently, nonvoilent communication is extremely crucial, which can not only make the others understood but also feel comfortable. Only when the person you communicate with feel pleased, our suggestions would be accepted and the purpose of communication will be achieved.
How can we do the nonvoilent communication? Please follow the following four steps.
First, to observe but not to comment. Only make the statements objectively, never use any words with emotion or comment.
Second, let your feelings known. After your state the situation objectively, it is a must to make your feelings known by the others.
Third, speak out your needs. Our needs should be told directly, so as to get positive responses, but not through criticizing, commenting or analysing.
Fourth, asking for help or support. It is also a necessary step to tell the others what we need them to do.? And our request should be specific and clear. The more specific it is, the better response we may get. It is also crucial that we ask for the feedback from the others to make sure if they have understood our words thoroughly. Here asking for help is totally different from order or command, so don't make the other feel it is an order.
So long as we go through this process of four steps, don't be shy to share your feelings, and make your needs and requests understood by the others, you will probably get what you want and achieve efficient communication.
