When a child is learning to walk, that's the last time we allow ourselves to be overjoyed by the fact that they're trying and failing and trying again.
孩子剛學(xué)習(xí)走路時(shí)是我們家長(zhǎng)最後一次因?yàn)榭吹胶⒆釉酱煸接露械介_心。
Of course, it's hard to see them fall, but somehow, we know that this is an essential task for them to practice, practice, practice, and ultimately, perfect.
當(dāng)然，看著他們一直跌倒很心疼，但我們多少知道這是個(gè)必經(jīng)過程：不停地練習(xí)，直到完美。
Well, somehow, we've forgotten that every single other skill in life is acquired the same way.
然而，對(duì)於所有其他生命中的所需技能，我們卻忘了這些技能是以相同的方式習(xí)得的。
While I was Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University, we began referring to college students as "kids" or "children."
當(dāng)我在史丹佛大學(xué)負(fù)責(zé)輔導(dǎo)新生時(shí)，我們開始將大學(xué)生稱作「孩子們」。
Those terms would not have been used in prior decades.
這是過去幾十年不會(huì)有的情形。
Too many students seemed to be lacking agency in their own lives, and I thought, "This is not good for them, and it's not good for all of us at a societal level either."
太多學(xué)生似乎在他們的人生中無法自力，而我當(dāng)時(shí)想：「這對(duì)他們很不好，對(duì)整個(gè)社會(huì)而言也是如此?！?br> Initially, helicopter parenting appears to work.
一開始，直升機(jī)父母的管教似乎很有用。
As a kid, you're kept safe, you are given direction, you might get a better grade, because your parent is arguing with the teacher.
當(dāng)你還小的時(shí)候，他們?yōu)槟阒敢较?，你可能因?yàn)榘謰尯屠蠋煚?zhēng)執(zhí)而拿到更高的成績(jī)。
But we parents end up getting in our kid's way.
但身為家長(zhǎng)，我們這樣最後卻害了孩子。
We deprive the kid of the chance to show up in their own lives, take responsibility for things, be accountable for outcomes.
我們剝奪了孩子在自己生命中的自主性以及對(duì)事物和結(jié)果負(fù)責(zé)。
What we've got to do is teach our kids all of these things; whether it's cross the street, or make a meal on the stove, or remember to put your belongings in your backpack.
我們需要教孩子的是這些，無論是如何過馬路、用瓦斯?fàn)t煮飯、或是記得把東西放進(jìn)書包裡。
There's a 4-step method for teaching kids skills.
教導(dǎo)孩子技能有個(gè)四步驟的方式。
Step one: you do it for them.
第一步：你幫他們做。
Step two: you do it with them.
第二步：你和他們一起做。
Step three: you watch them do it.
第三步：你看著他們做。
Step four: they can do it independently.
第四步：他們有能力自己做。
If we don't do this, we will have among us a young adult population that doesn't know how to “hashtag adult.”
如果我們不這麼做，我們周圍就會(huì)出現(xiàn)不會(huì)「＃自力自強(qiáng)」的青年。
It becomes a community problem.
這會(huì)是整個(gè)社群的問題。
It becomes a crisis in leadership.
領(lǐng)導(dǎo)會(huì)出現(xiàn)危機(jī)。
You have to ask who's going to run the schools?
你必須思考，將來誰來投入教育？
Who's going to run our nonprofits?
誰來經(jīng)營(yíng)非營(yíng)利組織？
Who's going to run the government?
誰來執(zhí)行政府職能？
Who's going to lead our families?
誰來領(lǐng)導(dǎo)家庭？
Kids have to be able to make their own mistakes growing up.
孩子在成長(zhǎng)的過程中要有犯錯(cuò)的機(jī)會(huì)。
Life is about having confidence that if you took the wrong path, you can get on the right path.
生命的意義是，相信做錯(cuò)選擇，還是有機(jī)會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)向正途。
That if you fall down, you can get back up.
跌倒後可以再站起來。
The moment they learn to walk, they're walking away from us.
孩子學(xué)習(xí)如何走路的瞬間，他們就與我們漸行漸遠(yuǎn)。
And it feels terrifying, but as paradoxical as it may sound, our job as parents is, like it or not, to put ourselves out of a job.
這是很讓人恐慌的，但雖然這似乎很矛盾，但父母的責(zé)任就是讓自己不再當(dāng)父母，不管你喜不喜歡這樣。