RESISTANCE AND THE CHOICE OF A MATE
Sometimes, if we’re not conscious of our own Resistance, we’ll pick as a mate someone who has or is successfully overcoming Resistance. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s easier to endow our partner with the power that we in fact possess but are afraid to act upon. Maybe it’s less threatening to believe that our beloved spouse is worthy to live out his or her unlived life, while we are not. Or maybe we’re hoping to use our mate as a model. Maybe we believe (or wish we could) that some of our spouse’s power will rub off on us, if we just hang around it long enough.
This is how Resistance disfigures love. The stew it creates is rich, it’s colorful; Tennessee Williams could work it up into a trilogy. But is it love? If we’re the supporting partner, shouldn’t we face our own failure to pursue our unlived life, rather than hitchhike on our spouse’s coattails? And if we’re the supported partner, shouldn’t we step out from the glow of our loved one’s adoration and instead encourage him to let his own light shine?
生詞：
endow：贈(zèng)予
disfigure：破壞
hitchhike on sb's coattails：搭便車(chē)
抵制與擇偶
有時(shí)候，如果我們沒(méi)有意識(shí)到自己的抗拒，我們會(huì)選擇一個(gè)已經(jīng)或正在成功克服抗拒的伴侶。我不知道為什么。也許把我們實(shí)際上擁有但卻不敢付諸行動(dòng)的力量贈(zèng)予我們的伴侶會(huì)更容易一些。也許，相信我們深?lèi)?ài)的配偶值得過(guò)他（她）的未活過(guò)的生活不那么嚇人，而我們卻不是?；蛘咭苍S我們希望用我們的伴侶作為榜樣。也許我們相信(或希望)配偶的某些力量會(huì)對(duì)我們產(chǎn)生影響，只要我們堅(jiān)持得足夠久。
這就是抵抗如何破壞愛(ài)。它創(chuàng)造的形式豐富多彩;田納西·威廉姆斯(Tennessee Williams)可以將其改編成三部曲。但這是愛(ài)嗎?如果我們是去支持的伴侶，比起搭配偶的便車(chē)，難道我們不應(yīng)該直面我們自己的失敗，去追求我們沒(méi)有活過(guò)的生活?如果我們是被支持的伴侶，難道我們不應(yīng)該從所愛(ài)之人的崇拜中走出來(lái)，鼓勵(lì)他閃耀自己的光芒嗎?
