如果你讀了我前不久寫(xiě)的長(zhǎng)文《五十歲人生伊始》，你就可以了解我這個(gè)階段的主旋律。
九月一號(hào)凌晨，是我離開(kāi)帝斯曼公司的第一時(shí)刻，我沉浸在回憶中一直不想去睡，打開(kāi)手機(jī)亂翻我的領(lǐng)英主頁(yè)上世界各地新老朋友的留言，突然一行字閃現(xiàn)在我的眼前，讓我的眼睛一亮，那行字是：“An Open Acknowledgement of a Hero: ...” 即“對(duì)一個(gè)英雄：... 的公開(kāi)致謝” 冒號(hào)后面寫(xiě)的是我的名字。
我一看題圖的背影，似乎她是我，可我又不記得照過(guò)這樣一張照片。我趕緊往下讀文章。
原來(lái)這是十幾年前我在美國(guó)負(fù)責(zé)化妝品和個(gè)人護(hù)理業(yè)務(wù)時(shí)的團(tuán)隊(duì)成員Sonia寫(xiě)的。是寫(xiě)給我的公開(kāi)致謝信。她用的照片是在網(wǎng)上的照片庫(kù)里找到的并為之支付了版權(quán)使用費(fèi)，她說(shuō)她的背影和氣場(chǎng)看著很像我。我才想起七月份在美國(guó)見(jiàn)面時(shí)她提過(guò)要寫(xiě)一篇關(guān)于我的文章，最近又詳細(xì)問(wèn)了我一些關(guān)于我以前上大學(xué)時(shí)的問(wèn)題。雖然我們來(lái)自不同的國(guó)度，但是我們都是從逆境中走過(guò)來(lái)的，多少有些惺惺相惜。我剛認(rèn)識(shí)她時(shí)和她提過(guò)我成長(zhǎng)的背景，很難得她還記得。
我一邊讀這篇文章，一邊覺(jué)得臉都紅了。因?yàn)槲覐膩?lái)沒(méi)覺(jué)得我有她說(shuō)的那么不一般。文章寫(xiě)的是關(guān)于（我的）勇氣和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力。內(nèi)容大致分四部分，一部分介紹我和團(tuán)隊(duì)做成的一些事情，不足掛齒，略去。一部分是對(duì)我未來(lái)的鼓勵(lì)和祝福，非常暖心的話，也不多寫(xiě)。另外兩部分分別是寫(xiě)關(guān)于我上大學(xué)的故事和我曾經(jīng)對(duì)她的鼓舞，這里著重寫(xiě)一下。
Sonia寫(xiě)到我的家人為了送我上大學(xué)，家里的一半收入用在了我身上，而我也勇敢地承接了全家的期待，一路不敢輕易放棄，直到今天。這是真的。我上大學(xué)時(shí)母親已經(jīng)退休，父親即將退休，兩人當(dāng)時(shí)的工資加起來(lái)肯定不超過(guò)八十塊，我每年的生活費(fèi)、學(xué)費(fèi)書(shū)雜費(fèi)、路費(fèi)加起來(lái)用完他們一年一大半的收入是一點(diǎn)都不夸張的。一個(gè)家庭、幾代人、甚至一個(gè)村莊送一個(gè)孩子讀書(shū)，這是八十年代全中國(guó)普遍的事實(shí)。三十多年過(guò)去了，我相信這樣的情況在很多地方依然屢見(jiàn)不鮮。
Sonia之所以要寫(xiě)這樣的故事，一方面是因?yàn)樗龑?duì)我的情感。另一方面，其實(shí)我覺(jué)得更重要的一方面，是她想表達(dá)一個(gè)聲音，想借對(duì)我父母的無(wú)私奉獻(xiàn)的贊美而喚醒她的讀者、她的社群（美國(guó)底層百姓，尤其是底層的黑人百姓）來(lái)意識(shí)到投資后代教育的重要性。她駕輕就熟地闡述了一個(gè)重要觀點(diǎn)，當(dāng)一個(gè)經(jīng)濟(jì)條件不好的家庭做出送孩子上學(xué)這樣的決定，付出的人需要勇氣承擔(dān)至少四年比以前更加艱苦的生活，也需要勇氣接受他們的孩子對(duì)未來(lái)的選擇，因?yàn)椴⒉皇敲恳粋€(gè)上了大學(xué)的孩子都能讓家庭和個(gè)人的夢(mèng)想成真。而對(duì)于孩子來(lái)說(shuō)，他/她也同樣需要勇氣來(lái)承受家庭和社群的重負(fù)，在不斷提升自己的同時(shí)，還要記得堅(jiān)持走自己的路，甚至不惜讓自己含辛茹苦的父母失望。
在這里我來(lái)講講Sonia的故事。雖然Sonia這篇文章寫(xiě)的是我，但她不知道我的經(jīng)歷在中國(guó)、在我的年代乃至當(dāng)今的年代并不特別。而她的故事才真正一直打動(dòng)著我。
Sonia是拉美黑人后裔，在美國(guó)最窮困的黑人區(qū)跟著單親媽媽長(zhǎng)大。她從來(lái)沒(méi)有見(jiàn)過(guò)父親，或者至少是她對(duì)他沒(méi)有任何記憶。她的母親不堪生活重負(fù)，吸毒坐牢，Sonia從小帶著弟弟妹妹肩負(fù)家庭的重?fù)?dān)，為了躲避追債者每年搬一次甚至幾次家。她小時(shí)候遭遇的極端的貧窮和痛苦，也因?yàn)閺膩?lái)沒(méi)有榜樣給她指明另外的路，使她對(duì)自己的未來(lái)不抱任何希望。她能看到的最本能的幻想就是長(zhǎng)大后嫁給一個(gè)到處招搖的毒販子，可以讓自己和弟弟妹妹遠(yuǎn)離饑餓。但是她沒(méi)有，非常幸運(yùn)的是她幾次分別在小學(xué)、初高中直到大學(xué)都碰到了好的老師，好老師們看到了她的潛力并且堅(jiān)持不讓她退學(xué)（因不堪壓力她曾多次嘗試過(guò)退學(xué)）。這些老師們就是她最早的天使，他們一次次改變了她的人生。最終Sonia去了知名的斯蒂文斯理工學(xué)院，并成為一名化學(xué)工程師。
Sonia是數(shù)一數(shù)二的就讀化學(xué)工程專業(yè)的黑人女性，而且她文理兼優(yōu)，Sonia寫(xiě)的文章我經(jīng)常當(dāng)作英文范文來(lái)讀。所以我一點(diǎn)也不吃驚，Sonia畢業(yè)后收到的第一份工作錄取來(lái)自于全球知名的歐萊雅公司。但是因?yàn)樯习嗑嚯x太遠(yuǎn)，她所有家人和朋友都無(wú)法湊足錢(qián)買(mǎi)到一輛舊車，她只好拒絕。后來(lái)她去了一家鐵路公司（可以免費(fèi)坐火車上下班），帶著頭盔上腳手架去維護(hù)基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施，參與設(shè)計(jì)做工程項(xiàng)目。
再后來(lái)Sonia又回到了她內(nèi)心喜歡的化妝品行業(yè)，去了一家英國(guó)化妝品原料公司做市場(chǎng)工作（對(duì)大膽用人的老板和公司我都特別喜歡）。現(xiàn)在Sonia在帝斯曼負(fù)責(zé)個(gè)人護(hù)理品在北美地區(qū)的市場(chǎng)營(yíng)銷。Sonia第一次來(lái)帝斯曼應(yīng)聘時(shí)，我負(fù)責(zé)北美個(gè)人護(hù)理品業(yè)務(wù)，她的經(jīng)歷和才華從那時(shí)候起就讓我感動(dòng)并震撼。
Sonia在文章中有一部分是寫(xiě)我當(dāng)年給了她怎樣的鼓舞，我曾經(jīng)讓她在對(duì)自己產(chǎn)生懷疑的時(shí)候去回顧自己走過(guò)的路并尋找自己內(nèi)心的力量，而且不止一次告訴她要堅(jiān)信自己的優(yōu)秀?，F(xiàn)在的Sonia不但是帝斯曼一名不可或缺的優(yōu)秀營(yíng)銷管理者，同時(shí)她也在不斷地回饋社會(huì)，并帶動(dòng)她的家族成員繼續(xù)突破自己，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己，打造自己的人生。
Sonia的故事讓我懂得我在人生中遇到的任何困難和她的經(jīng)歷相比都不值一提，所以與其說(shuō)是我激勵(lì)了她，遠(yuǎn)不如說(shuō)是她激勵(lì)了我。
Sonia在文章中也講到了我?guī)F(tuán)隊(duì)時(shí)表現(xiàn)的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)方式。她引用了以前一位同事說(shuō)的話。其實(shí)很簡(jiǎn)單，做老板的都可以用：事情干得漂亮?xí)r把團(tuán)隊(duì)推出來(lái)領(lǐng)獎(jiǎng)；事情干砸了的時(shí)候領(lǐng)導(dǎo)把脖子伸出來(lái)承擔(dān)。
現(xiàn)在我剛從任職二十幾年的帝斯曼離開(kāi)，我必須承認(rèn)， Sonia和很多同事給我的鼓勵(lì)就像春雨冬陽(yáng)那么滋潤(rùn)溫暖。Sonia以及這些年來(lái)我身邊很多像Sonia這樣的無(wú)名英雄，每個(gè)人都帶著他們的歷史，他們的包袱，他們的夢(mèng)想，打破一層一層的天花板，獨(dú)自走著家族、前人沒(méi)有走過(guò)的路，他們讓我在我的職業(yè)生涯中體會(huì)到強(qiáng)烈的人性的希望和光芒。我深感幸運(yùn)之余，怎可不加倍珍惜、摯愛(ài)我的人生，摯愛(ài)我身邊所有給予我力量的人！
我的好朋友Andrea在領(lǐng)英上轉(zhuǎn)發(fā)Sonia寫(xiě)給我的這篇公開(kāi)致謝時(shí)說(shuō)，女性要學(xué)會(huì)放大另一個(gè)女性的聲音，并不斷去提升對(duì)方。我讀著Sonia這篇文章，馬上聽(tīng)到的就是Sonia的聲音，看到的是Sonia的奮斗歷程，繼而也想到很多我的同齡人直至我的后代的歷程和聲音。所以我決定也在這里放大Sonia的聲音。
這篇文章不是關(guān)于我，這篇文章是關(guān)于一個(gè)打破了天花板的人-Sonia，和另一個(gè)試圖打破天花板的人-我，相互仰慕和相互激勵(lì)的故事。這些人是我，是Sonia，也是你，以及很多你我身邊擁有不平凡的人生的平凡人。
湘?zhèn)?/p>
2018年9月4日，湖南益陽(yáng)
后記：
我算是一名愛(ài)寫(xiě)文的資深外企高管，是一位單親母親。我認(rèn)為沒(méi)有什么事情是不可能的，只要你想做。但是我不喜歡喝太多或者煮太多的雞湯。一邊喝酒喝茶，一邊聊天開(kāi)腦洞是我比較喜歡的事情。我希望我的人生過(guò)得真誠(chéng)無(wú)悔。
如果你想知道更多的關(guān)于我的故事，你可以先讀這篇文章：《一張二十五年前的舊報(bào)紙》
附Sonia Dawson 領(lǐng)英網(wǎng)發(fā)的公開(kāi)信原文：
An Open Acknowledgement of a Hero: Ms. Xiangwei Gong
Xiangwei Gong is truly the stuff legends are made of. You don’t have to spend long with her before it is clear that you are in the presence of a powerhouse. Peter Drucker said “whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.” While Xiangwei has made many courageous decisions that have led to impressive business growth, I want to tell you about one that she made long before she ever stepped into the corporate world.
Xiangwei was born as the youngest of 3 children, at the end of China’s Cultural Revolution, a very difficult era in Chinese history. Her family was poor, as many families were back then. Additionally, her mother was illiterate and suffered greatly from not being able to read and write. Nevertheless, she was wise and strong and determined to send Xiangwei to school and have her receive the best education. By the time Xiangwei went to school, education itself was free in her country, but it required moving, so her family still had to pay for her living expenses in Beijing. Her parents made a meager income of about $10 per month, and almost 50% went to support Xiangwei living in Beijing during her study. As soon as her older brothers started working, they then helped her parents to support her so that she could buy books, clothing and travel to visit home.
I can’t imagine what it took to have an entire family come together to propel just one among them forward. While Xiangwei thought the gift was entirely too generous, she courageously decided to say yes– an investment that her future success would go on to repay 1000-fold.
Xiangwei’s courage has become her trademark. She has held leadership roles around the world – in the US, Europe and Asia. When I had the honor of working for her 10 years ago, she was the head of DSM’s Personal Care division for North America. During her tenure, the North American PC team doubled business in three years. She went on to lead a team that launched DSM’s first B2C products, and then to lead a team that built DSM’s first China-based global business unit: DSM Hydrocolloids.
I mention team deliberately. Xiangwei would never allow me to credit her alone, though her power, her passion about business and life are truly extraordinary. She is the type of leader that not only cares that her team does great work, but that they have great lives. She is the type of leader who, as one of our former colleagues loved to say about her, in times of success would never take the credit as her own but would acknowledge her team, and in times of failure would never blame the team but would own the failure as her own.
I have many fond memories of Xiangwei, but my favorite memory of her is a conversation we had when I was in a period of discouragement around my career. She wasn’t even my manager anymore at that time but had always made herself available for advice and coaching. I remember telling her that I didn’t feel good enough and though I can’t remember all of the conversation, this part I will never forget for as long as I live. She said:
“Are you kidding me?? Knock it off with this ‘I’m not good enough’ nonsense! Of course you’re good enough. In fact, you’re better than good enough – you’re great, and you need to stop saying otherwise. There are people that look up to you and are counting on you. This ‘not good enough’ is a disservice to the people that invested in you, to the community that sacrificed for you. Do not ever say you’re not good enough again. Now get out of here and go be great!”
And with that kick in the pants, I was sent on my way!
Xiangwei lives by the principle that her life and her success is never hers alone. She continually acknowledges that she would not be where she is without the sacrifice of others – whether it be her family or her teams. She does not take those sacrifices lightly. While she continually pushes herself to break through new doors, she always holds it open for others to pass through.
Today, Xiangwei concludes over 20 years of service to DSM to embark on a new role as President of the Asia region and member of the Executive Committee at AptarGroup.
People of AptarGroup – Congratulations! You are receiving a gem.
Dearest Xiangwei – on behalf of all of the people here that you have inspired and empowered, I thank you. On behalf of anyone that I get to make a difference for because of the difference you made for me, I thank you. Thank you for leaving a powerful legacy. Even your shadow will continue to inspire.
With all my love and gratitude,
Sonia
