-*-
30
莉拉和恩佐之間的關系已經很不穩(wěn)定了，帕斯卡萊出現(xiàn)后，她們的關系又發(fā)生了變化。帕斯卡萊在這附近一個工地上干活，他來圣約翰·特杜奇奧參加一個意大利Communist的會議。非常偶然的一個機會，他和恩佐在路上碰到了，他們馬上就恢復了之前的關系，他們談起了政治，都表現(xiàn)出很不滿。剛開始，恩佐說話很小心，但讓人驚異的是，盡管帕斯卡萊在城區(qū)里已經有了一個重要的職務，但他肆無忌憚地抨擊自己的政黨，他說到了修正主義，還有工會。他們倆又成為了哥們兒，莉拉回家吃飯時，看到帕斯卡萊在，不得不給他也弄點兒吃的。
That equilibrium, already precarious,
? changed when Pasquale reappeared. He was working at a construction site in
? the area and had come to San Giovanni a Teduccio for a meeting of the local
? section of the Communist Party. He and Enzo met on the street, by chance, and
? immediately regained their old intimacy. They ended up talking about
? politics, and manifested the same dissatisfaction. Enzo expressed himself
? cautiously at first, but Pasquale, surprisingly, although he had an important
? local post—secretary of the section—proved to be anything but cautious, and
? he criticized the party, which was revisionist, and the union, which too
? often closed both eyes. The two spent so long talking that Lila found
? Pasquale in the house at dinnertime and had to feed him as well.
那天晚上，開始就不怎么好，她感覺自己被帕斯卡萊審視著，她很努力地控制自己才沒有生氣。帕斯卡萊想干什么，窺探她？然后告訴城區(qū)的人她的生活。他有什么權力審判她？他沒有說一句友好的話，沒有告訴她家里、農奇亞、她哥哥里諾，還有費爾南多的近況。他的目光，有點兒像工廠里那些男人的目光，帶有評估和掂量的意思，假如她覺察到了，他會把目光轉向一邊。帕斯卡萊一定覺得她變丑了，他一定在想：我當時是怎么想的，我小時候怎么會愛上這個女人，我真是個笨蛋。但毫無疑問，他一定覺得，莉拉是一個非常糟糕的母親，因為她原本可以在肉食店老板卡拉奇家的富裕環(huán)境里，撫養(yǎng)孩子長大，但她卻把孩子帶到了這個破地方。后來，莉拉嘆了一口氣，她對恩佐說：“你收拾收拾桌子吧，我去睡覺了?！钡@時候，讓人驚異的是，帕斯卡萊用一種在重要場合才會用到的語氣，有些激動地說：“莉娜，你去睡覺前，我有一件事情想告訴你：在這個世界上，沒有任何女人像你一樣，你的生活充滿力量，假如世界上所有人都有這種力量，那我們這個世界，早就發(fā)生了變化?！彼褪峭ㄟ^這種方式打破了僵局，他告訴莉拉，費爾南多又開始給人縫鞋底了，里諾徹底成了斯特凡諾的負擔，他不停地向斯特凡諾要錢，人們很少看見農奇亞，因為她很少出門。他最后強調說：“但你做得對，整個城區(qū)，沒有人像你能這樣，讓卡拉奇和索拉拉家顏面掃地，我站在你這邊”。
The evening began badly. She felt herself
? observed, and had to make an effort not to get angry. What did Pasquale want,
? to spy on her, report to the neighborhood how she was living? What right did
? he have to come there to judge her? He didn’t speak a single friendly word,
? he brought no news of her family—of Nunzia, of her brother Rino, of Fernando.
? Instead he gave her male looks, the kind she got in the factory, appraising,
? and if she became aware of them he turned his eyes elsewhere. He must have
? found that she had grown ugly. Surely he was thinking, How could I, as a boy,
? have fallen in love with this woman, I was a fool. And without a doubt he
? considered her a terrible mother, since she could have brought up her son in
? the comfort of the Carracci grocery stores and instead she had dragged him
? into that poverty. At a certain point Lila said huffily to Enzo, you clean
? up, I’m going to bed. But Pasquale, to her surprise, assumed a grandiose tone
? and said to her, with some emotion: Lina, before you go I have to tell you
? one thing. There is no woman like you, you throw yourself into life with a
? force that, if we all had it, the world would have changed a long time ago.
? Then, having broken the ice in this way, he told her that Fernando had gone
? back to resoling shoes, that Rino had become Stefano’s cross to bear, and was
? constantly begging him for money, that Nunzia he rarely saw, she never left
? the house. But you did well, he repeated: no one in the neighborhood has
? kicked the Carraccis and the Solaras in the face as much as you, and I’m on
? your side.
那天晚上之后，他們經常見面，這對莉拉和恩佐的函授課程影響很大。帕斯卡萊會在晚飯時間，帶四個熱披薩到家里。他通常扮演這樣一個角色：就好像他很清楚資本主義世界和反資本主義世界的運作方式。他們之間的友誼更進一步加深了。很明顯，他沒什么感情生活，他的妹妹卡門剛剛找到男朋友，沒時間照顧他。他用一種充滿怒火的積極態(tài)度來對抗孤獨，這是莉拉喜歡的態(tài)度，這也讓她感到好奇。在工地上干一天活之后，盡管已經筋疲力盡了，他還是會負責工會的事情，去往美國領館門上甩血紅色的油漆，他會站在最前面，和那些法西斯分子動手，他會參加工人和學生的大會，和學生非常熱烈地爭吵。更不用說意大利Communist的工作：他從自己的角度，提出了很多批評，這讓他隨時都可能會失去支部書記的位子。他和恩佐、莉拉會暢所欲言，他會把個人情感和政治混合起來。他抱怨說：“你們知道，我們城區(qū)現(xiàn)在誰是新法西斯黨的頭兒？是藥劑師的兒子吉諾——米凱萊·索拉拉的傻仆人。難道我要看著法西斯分子在我的城區(qū)抬頭？”他非常激動地說：“我的父親，他把自己的一切都獻給了組織，為了什么：為了這種摻水的反法西斯主義？為了我們今天得到的狗屎局面？”帕斯卡萊生氣地說，那個可憐的男人被冤枉了，他被關進了牢里，他是無辜的，堂·阿奇勒不是他殺死的，是黨放棄他了。他是一個了不起的黨員，他參加過“那不勒斯四日”
? [2]
? 的斗爭，在圣人橋上斗爭過，在戰(zhàn)后，他在城區(qū)里要比任何人更顯眼、無畏。朱塞平娜——他的母親，有人支持過她嗎？幫助過她嗎？當帕斯卡萊提到母親時，他把詹納羅放在膝蓋上，問：“看看你媽媽多美，你愛她嗎？”
After that he showed up often, which cut
? into their studying. He would arrive at dinnertime with four hot pizzas,
? playing his usual role of someone who knows all about how the capitalist and
? anti-*-red paint at the American consulate, if there were fascists to be
? beaten up he was always on the front lines, he was a member of a
? worker-*-fascism to democratic oversight. But do you know who’s been
? installed as the head of the neighborhood fascists? The pharmacist’s son,
? Gino, an idiot slave of Michele Solara. And must I put up with the fact that
? the fascists are raising their heads again in my neighborhood? My father—he
? said, with emotion—gave his entire self to the party, and why: for this
? watered-*-fascism, for this shit we have today? When that poor man ended up
? in jail, innocent, completely innocent, he got angry—he didn’t murder Don
? Achille—the party abandoned him, even though he had been a loyal comrade,
? even though he had taken part in the Four Days of Naples, and fought at the
? Ponte della Sanità, even though after the war, in the neighborhood, he had
? been more exposed than anyone else. And Giuseppina, his mother? Had anyone
? helped her? As soon as he mentioned his mother, Pasquale picked up Gennaro
? and sat him on his lap, saying: See how pretty your mamma is, do you love
? her?
莉拉聽著這些，有時候，她覺得自己當時應該答應這個小伙子，他是第一個發(fā)現(xiàn)她的。她不應該把目標對準斯特凡諾，還有他的錢，也不應該為了尼諾，陷入這樣一個困境，而是應該保持自己的位子，保持頭腦冷靜，不被虛榮心沖昏了頭腦。但其他時候，帕斯卡萊的抨擊，使她感覺自己又一次回到了童年，被城區(qū)的殘酷、堂·阿奇勒還有他被殺的事實所包圍，她從小就經常講述這件事情，充滿了各種細節(jié)，現(xiàn)在她覺得自己好像當時在場一樣。這時候，她想起了帕斯卡萊的父親被抓時的情景，木匠的叫喊，還有他的妻子、女兒卡門。她一點兒也不喜歡當時的情景，那些真實的記憶混合著虛假的記憶，她看到了暴力和鮮血。這讓她覺得很不自在，她醒悟過來了，她從帕斯卡萊的怨氣里抽身而出，為了平靜下來，就把話題引到了他全家人一起過圣誕節(jié)和狂歡節(jié)，還有他媽媽朱塞平娜的好廚藝。這時候，他很快意識到，莉拉也像他一樣，缺乏家人的關懷。后來有一次，他事先沒打招呼就出現(xiàn)了，興高采烈地對她說：“你看看，我把誰給你帶來了?！彼艳r奇亞帶來了。
Lila listened. At times it occurred to
? her that she should have said yes to that youth, the first who had noticed
? her, rather than aiming Stefano and his money, rather than getting herself in
? trouble with Nino: stayed in her place, not committed the sin of pride,
? pacified her mind. But at other times, because of Pasquale’s tirades, she
? felt gripped again by her childhood, by the ferocity of the neighborhood, by
? Don Achille, by his murder, which she, as a child, had recounted so often and
? with so many invented details that now it seemed to her that she had been
? present. So she remembered the arrest of Pasquale’s father, and how much the
? carpenter had shouted, and his wife, and Carmen, and she didn’t like that,
? true memories mingled with false ones, she saw the violence, the blood. Then
? she roused herself, uneasily, escaped from the flood of Pasquale’s
? bitterness, and to soothe herself she urged him to recall, I don’t know,
? Christmas and Easter in his family, his mother Giuseppina’s cooking. He
? quickly realized what was going on and maybe he thought that Lila missed the
? affections of her family, as he missed his. The fact is that one day he
? showed up without warning and said gaily: Look who I brought you. He had
? brought her Nunzia.
母親和女兒抱在了一起，農奇亞哭了很久，她給詹納羅帶了一個布縫的匹諾曹。對于母親的出現(xiàn)，莉拉剛開始表現(xiàn)得很高興，但是當農齊亞開始批評女兒做出的選擇，莉拉就跟她說：“媽，要么我們就當什么事兒也沒發(fā)生過，要么你就回去吧?！鞭r奇亞生氣了，就去和孩子玩去了，就好像真的是和小孩在說話，她有好幾次都說：“你媽媽要去干活，在工廠賣命，可憐的孩子，誰看你啊？”這時候，帕斯卡萊明白，自己做了一件蠢事兒，他說時間晚了，要走了。農奇亞站起身來，她對著女兒，用帶著威脅和懇求的語氣抱怨說：“你之前讓我們過著闊人的生活，現(xiàn)在你把我們毀了。你哥哥覺得自己被拋棄了，他現(xiàn)在再也不想看到你，你父親就當沒有生過你這個女兒。莉拉，求求你了，我不是說你要和你丈夫和好，這也已經不可能了，但你至少要和索拉拉說清楚，因為你的緣故，他們兄弟倆把一切都收回去了，現(xiàn)在你父親、里諾，我們賽魯羅全家人又什么都不是了?！?/p>
Mother and daughter embraced, Nunzia
? cried for a long time, and gave Gennaro a Pinocchio ragdoll. But as soon as
? she started to criticize her daughter’s decisions, Lila, who at first had
? appeared happy to see her, said: Ma, either we act as if nothing happened or
? it’s better that you go. Nunzia was offended, she played with the child, and
? kept saying, as if she really were talking to the boy: If your mamma goes to
? work, what about you, poor thing, where does she leave you? At that point
? Pasquale realized he had made a mistake, he said it was late and they had to
? go. Nunzia got up and spoke to her daughter, partly threatening her, partly
? entreating her. You, she complained. First you had us living the life of rich
? people and then you ruined us: your brother felt abandoned and doesn’t want
? to see you anymore, your father has effaced you; Lina, please, I’m not
? telling you to make peace with your husband, that’s not possible, but at
? least clear things up with the Solaras; they’ve taken everything because of
? you, and Rino, your father, we Cerullos, now once again we’re nothing.
莉拉在那里聽她說著這些，最后幾乎是把母親推出家門的。她說：“媽，你最好不要再來了?！彼龑ε了箍ㄈR也說了同樣的話。
Lila listened and then she practically
? pushed her out, saying: Ma, it’s better if you don’t come back. She shouted
? the same thing to Pasquale as well.
-*-
31
莉拉有太多問題要面對：對詹納羅的愧疚，對恩佐的愧疚感，上班的辛苦，加班，布魯諾的猥褻，娘家人又開始對她施壓。帕斯卡萊的出現(xiàn)并沒有起到什么作用，卻很煩人，莉拉對他很冷淡，但他從來都不會生氣，總是興高采烈地上門來找他們，有時候會拉著莉拉、詹納羅還有恩佐一起去吃披薩，有時候會用車子載著他們到阿杰羅拉去，讓孩子呼吸新鮮空氣。但他最大的目的是想把莉拉拉進自己的組織。他促使莉拉注冊了工會，盡管她并不想，但她最后注冊了，只是為了讓布魯諾·索卡沃不舒服。他給莉拉帶來了各種類型的冊子，里面的內容很清楚，也很簡要，都是關于薪水的問題、工人和老板之間的協(xié)商、薪水的構成等等，他知道有些冊子，即使他一眼都不會看，但莉拉遲早會讀的。他拉著莉拉、恩佐還有孩子去了基亞亞海岸，那里有一場反對越南戰(zhàn)爭的游行，游行最后演變稱了一場斗毆：法西斯分子在挑釁，和警察發(fā)生了沖撞，石頭亂飛，帕斯卡萊動手打人，莉拉在罵人，恩佐也開始懊悔他們把孩子帶到那個亂七八糟的地方。
Too many problems at once: the feelings
? of guilt toward Gennaro, toward Enzo; the cruel shifts at work, the overtime,
? Bruno’s obscenities; her family, who wanted to return to burden her; and that
? presence of Pasquale, toward whom it was pointless to be aloof. He never got
? angry; he burst in cheerfully, sometimes dragging Lila, Gennaro, and Enzo out
? to a pizzeria, sometimes driving them in the car to Agerola so the child
? could have some fresh air. But mostly he tried to involve her in his
? activities. He pushed her to join the union, even though she didn’t want to
? and did it only to slight Soccavo, who wouldn’t like it. He brought her
? pamphlets of various kinds, very clear, concise, on subjects like the pay
? package, collective bargaining, wage differentials, knowing that even if he
? hadn’t opened them Lila would sooner or later read them. He took her with
? Enzo and the child to Riviera di Chiaia, to a demonstration for peace in
? Vietnam that turned into a general stampede: rocks flying, fascists stirring
? things up, police charging, Pasquale punching, Lila shouting insults, and
? Enzo cursing the moment they had decided to take Gennaro into the middle of
? that fracas.
那個階段發(fā)生了兩件事情，對于莉拉來說尤其重要。有一次，帕斯卡萊堅持要她來聽一個意大利Communist的要人的報告。莉拉接受了邀請，她很好奇，但她沒怎么聽那人的報告——基本講的是黨和工人階級的事兒——因為這位女黨員遲到了，等她終于到了，那場會議開始了，詹納羅吵鬧不已，她不得不哄孩子，她一會兒來到街上和他玩兒，一會兒把他帶進去，進進出出好幾次。但她偶然聽的那幾句，就足以讓她明白，這個女人和她的聽眾——那些工人階級還有小資產階級是多么不同。因此，當她意識到帕斯卡萊、恩佐還有其他幾個人對于這個做報告的人很不滿意，她覺得他們不應該這樣，他們應該對這個有文化的女士感到感激，因為她來到這里，在他們身上浪費時間，是一件值得稱道的事兒。隨后，帕斯卡萊也發(fā)言了，但言辭充滿挑釁，那個女同志非常氣憤，她用顫抖的聲音說：“夠了，現(xiàn)在我要走了?！崩蚶矚g這個女黨員的反應，覺得她做得對，但像往常一樣，她內心有各種混亂的情感。這時候，恩佐支持帕斯卡萊，他叫喊道：“同志，如果沒有我們的話，就不會有你，因此你還是乖乖待著，我們讓你走，你再走?！边@時，莉拉忽然改變了態(tài)度，她覺得自己是充滿暴力的“我們”中的一員，那女人是活該。她怒氣沖沖地帶著孩子回到家里，那個晚上都是被孩子毀了。
But there were two episodes in
? particular, in that period, that were significant for Lila. Once Pasquale
? insisted that she come to hear an important comrade, a woman. Lila accepted
? the invitation; she was curious. But she heard almost none of the speech—a
? speech more or less about the party and the working class—because the
? important comrade arrived late and when the meeting finally began Gennaro was
? fidgety, and she had to amuse him, taking him out to the street to play,
? bringing him back inside, taking him out again. Yet the little she heard was
? enough for her to understand how much dignity the woman had, and how distinct
? she was in every way from the working-*-middle-class audience. So when she
? noticed that Pasquale, Enzo, and some others weren’t satisfied with what the
? speaker was saying, she thought that they were unfair, that they should be
? grateful to that educated woman who had come to waste her time with them. And
? when Pasquale made a speech so argumentative that the comrade delegate lost
? her temper and, her voice cracking, exclaimed, in irritation, That’s enough,
? I’m going to get up and leave, that reaction pleased her, she took her side.
? But evidently her feelings were, as usual, muddled. When Enzo shouted, in
? support of Pasquale: Comrade, without us you don’t even exist, so you stay as
? long as we want you to, and go only when we tell you, she changed her mind,
? with sudden sympathy for the violence of that we—it seemed to her that the
? woman deserved it. She went home angry at the child, who had ruined the
? evening for her.
那場由帕斯卡萊組織的會議，更加讓人不安，他簡直太積極了。莉拉去參加了，因為帕斯卡萊很在意她去，另外她也覺得，帕斯卡萊那么渴望深入探討工人的處境，這是一件好事兒。那次會議是在那不勒斯的法院路舉行的，那天晚上，他們是坐著帕斯卡萊的車子去的。他們后來爬上了一些雖然破舊，但是依然很壯觀的臺階。那個地方很大，但出席的人很少。莉拉發(fā)現(xiàn)，她一眼就能把學生和工人區(qū)分開來，她還看到領導們很從容，普通群眾結結巴巴。有一件事情讓她很不愉快，她覺得那些學生很虛偽，他們做出一副平易近人的樣子，說著賣弄學問的話，但翻來覆去都是這些話：我們來這里，是為了向你們學習。他們想說的是向工人學習，但實際上，他們炫耀自己擁有的關于資本、剝削、社會民主黨的背叛，還有階級斗爭的知識，可以說思想過于清晰。再加上她發(fā)現(xiàn)，在場的少數(shù)幾個姑娘，通常都沉默不語，但這時候，她們在恩佐和帕斯卡萊面前都搔首弄姿，尤其是在帕斯卡萊面前，因為他要更健談一點兒，女孩子對他都很熱情。他雖然是個工人，但他選擇把自己作為無產階級的體驗，帶到一個革命性的大會上。那些學生之間總是你爭我吵，但當他和恩佐發(fā)言時，他們都在一個勁兒點頭。恩佐像往常一樣話少而精，但帕斯卡萊一直在說，用一種夾雜著方言的意大利語，講到了他在郊區(qū)政治工作的進程，然后責問學生都干了什么，批評他們的工作不夠積極。最后，帕斯卡萊忽然間就提到了莉拉，他提到了她的姓名，說她是一位Communist員，在一家小食品工廠里工作，他說了很多她的好話。
Much more lively was a meeting of the
? committee that Pasquale, with his thirst for engagement, had joined. Lila
? went not only because it meant a lot to him but because it seemed to her that
? the restlessness that drove him to try and to understand was good. The
? committee met in Naples, in an old house on Via dei Tribunali. They arrived
? one night in Pasquale’s car, and climbed up crumbling, monumental stairs. The
? place was large, and there weren’t many people present. Lila noticed how easy
? it was to distinguish the faces of the students from those of the workers,
? the fluency of the leaders from the stuttering of the followers. And she
? quickly became irritated. The students made speeches that seemed to her
? hypocritical; they had a modest manner that clashed with their pedantic
? phrases. The refrain, besides, was always the same: We’re here to learn from
? you, meaning from the workers, but in reality they were showing off ideas
? that were almost too obvious about capital, about exploitation, about the
? betrayal of social democracy, about the modalities of the class struggle.
? Furthermore—she discovered—the few girls, who were mostly silent, flirted
? eagerly with Enzo and Pasquale. Especially Pasquale, who was the more
? sociable, and was treated with great friendliness. He was a worker
? who—although he carried a Communist Party card, and was the head of a
? section—had chosen to bring his experience of the proletariat into a
? revolutionary meeting. When he and Enzo spoke, the students, who among
? themselves did nothing but quarrel, always registered approval. Enzo as usual
? said only a few, loaded words. Pasquale, on the other hand, recounted, with
? an inexhaustible patter, half in Italian, half in dialect, the progress that
? the political work was making at the construction sites around Naples,
? hurling small polemical darts at the students, who hadn’t been very active.
? At the conclusion, without warning, he dragged her, Lila, into it. He
? introduced her by her name and last name, he called her a worker comrade who
? had a job in a small food factory, and he heaped praises on her.
莉拉的眉頭皺了起來，她瞇著眼睛，她不喜歡所有人都像看珍稀動物那樣看著自己。帕斯卡萊說完之后，這時候有一個女孩發(fā)言——這是在場少有的幾個女性中第一個發(fā)言的人，這讓莉拉更加厭煩：首先因為她說話就像在念書；其次是，她好幾次提到莉拉，稱她為賽魯羅同志；第三個原因是她認識這個女孩，她是娜迪雅——加利亞尼老師的女兒，尼諾當年的小女朋友，在伊斯基亞時給尼諾寫過情書的那個女孩。
Lila furrowed her brow and narrowed her
? eyes: she didn’t like them all looking at her like a rare animal. And when,
? after Pasquale, a girl spoke—the first of the girls to speak—she became even
? more annoyed, first of all because the girl expressed herself like a book,
? second because she kept referring to her, calling her Comrade Cerullo, and,
? third, because Lila already knew her: it was Nadia, the daughter of Professor
? Galiani, Nino’s little girlfriend, who had written him love letters on
? Ischia.
剛開始，她擔心娜迪雅認出她來，但這個姑娘在說話時，一直都看著她，并沒有認出她來的意思。再說，她怎么可能認出莉拉呢？誰知道她參加過多少次有錢人的聚會，她腦子里面一定全是人。但在幾年前，莉拉只有唯一的那一次機會，那場聚會給她留下了很深的印象。她清楚地記得：那所房子位于維托利奧·埃馬努埃萊大街上，她看到了尼諾，還有那些出身良好家庭的年輕人，那些書籍、繪畫，還有她感受到的痛苦，以及那時她糟糕的處境。娜迪雅還在說話，但莉拉實在受不了了，就站起身來，和詹納羅出去了。她內心有一種痛楚，這讓她胃里在翻滾，但找不到具體的宣泄辦法。
For a moment she was afraid that Nadia
? had in turn recognized her, but although the girl addressed her as she spoke,
? she gave no sign of remembering her. Besides, why should she? Who could say
? how many rich people’s parties she had gone to and what crowd of shadows
? inhabited her memory? For Lila, on the other hand, there had been that one
? long-ago occasion, and she remained struck by it. She recalled the apartment
? on Corso Vittorio Emanuele precisely, along with Nino and all those young
? people from good families, the books, the paintings, and her own agonizing
? experience of it, the unease it had inspired. She couldn’t bear it, she got
? up while Nadia was still speaking and went out with Gennaro, carrying inside
? her an evil energy that, finding no precise outlet, writhed in her stomach.
過了一會兒，她又回到了大廳里，她決定說出自己的體驗，而不是表現(xiàn)得自己無足輕重。現(xiàn)在是一個鬈發(fā)小伙子在談論意大利冶金業(yè)和按勞計酬的問題，他說得很詳盡。莉拉等他說完，她無視恩佐不安的眼神，要求發(fā)言。她談了很久，是用標準的意大利語說的，這時候詹納羅一直在她懷里折騰。她開始說得很慢，最后聲音越來越大，在周圍的寂靜中，也許她的聲音太大了。她開玩笑說，自己一點兒也不了解什么是工人階級，只認識她工作的地方的男女工人，她說在這些人身上，除了貧窮，絕對沒有任何值得學習的地方。你們能想象嗎？她問，每天八個小時，水一直漫到皮帶那里，浸泡在煮大肉香腸的水里，是一種什么樣的體驗？在去骨頭時，手上全是傷口，你們能想象嗎？在零下二十度的溫度中進出冰庫，每小時多掙十里拉——十里拉——作為凍傷補貼，你們可以想象嗎？假如你們可以想象，從這些被迫這樣生活的人身上，你們覺得能學到什么東西？那些女工被工頭或者其他同事摸屁股，她們也不敢吭氣。假如老板的兒子有需求，你就得跟他去儲藏室，這是他父親，或者是爺爺已經開始干的，就是在上你之前，老板的兒子還會跟你發(fā)表一段激昂的演說，說香腸的味道讓他有多興奮。在工廠里，男人和女人都會被搜身，在出口的地方有個“探測器”，假如是紅燈而不是綠燈亮了，意思是你身上有香腸或者肥肉腸。這個“探測器”是門衛(wèi)控制的，他是老板的心腹，有時候紅燈亮了，并不是因為有人偷東西，而是因為有一個漂亮靦腆的姑娘經過，門衛(wèi)想騷擾一下她。這就是我工作的地方的情況，工會的人從來沒能進到里面，這些工人只是一些可憐人，在老板的挾持和壓迫之下賣命，老板的法律就是：我付錢給你，因此我擁有你，我擁有你的生命、你的家庭和圍繞著你的一切，假如你不按照我說的做，我就會毀掉你。
After a while, however, she returned; she
? had decided to have her say, in order not to feel inferior. A curly-headed
? youth was speaking with great expertise about Italsider and piecework. Lila
? waited for him to finish and, ignoring Enzo’s look of bewilderment, asked to
? speak. She spoke for a long time, in Italian, with Gennaro fussing in her
? arms. She began slowly, then she continued on amid a general silence, perhaps
? her voice was too loud. She said jokingly that she knew nothing about the
? working class. She said she knew only the workers, men and women, in the
? factory where she worked, people from whom there was absolutely nothing to
? learn except wretchedness. Can you imagine, she asked, what it means to spend
? eight hours a day standing up to your waist in the mortadella cooking water?
? Can you imagine what it means to have your fingers covered with cuts from
? slicing the meat off animal bones? Can you imagine what it means to go in and
? out of refrigerated rooms at twenty degrees below zero, and get ten lire more
? an hour—ten lire—for cold compensation? If you imagine this, what do you
? think you can learn from people who are forced to live like that? The women
? have to let their asses be groped by supervisors and colleagues without
? saying a word. If the owner feels the need, someone has to follow him into
? the seasoning room; his father used to ask for the same thing, maybe also his
? grandfather; and there, before he jumps all over you, that same owner makes
? you a tired little speech on how the odor of salami excites him. Men and
? women both are subjected to body searches, because at the exit there’s
? something called the “partial,” and if the red light goes on instead of the
? green, it means that you’re stealing salamis or mortadellas. The “partial” is
? controlled by the guard, who’s a spy for the owner, and turns on the red
? light not only for possible thieves but especially for shy pretty girls and
? for troublemakers. That is the situation in the factory where I work. The
? union has never gone in and the workers are nothing but poor victims of
? blackmail, dependent on the law of the owner, that is: I pay you and so I
? possess you and I possess your life, your family, and everything that
? surrounds you, and if you don’t do as I say I’ll ruin you.
剛開始，沒有人吭氣。最后其他幾個人的發(fā)言，一直引用莉拉說的話。最后娜迪雅過來擁抱了她，說了很多恭維的話：你真美！你真棒！你說得真好！她對莉拉表示感謝，并很嚴肅地說：“你讓我了解到，我們還有多少工作要做?！北M管娜迪雅的調子很高，語氣很莊重，但莉拉覺得，她還是多年之前見到的那個小女孩，那個和尼諾在一起的女孩，甚至比當時還幼稚。她和薩拉托雷的兒子當時在做什么呢？他們跳舞，聊天，相互磨蹭，接吻嗎？她無法想象。當然，娜迪雅當時很漂亮，讓人過目難忘。現(xiàn)在她的樣子，好像要比當時還要清純，那么單純、脆弱，那么能為別人的痛苦著想，好像能夠切身感受到工人的痛苦，這種感同身受，似乎令她無法承受。
At first no one breathed. Then other
? speakers followed, who all quoted Lila devotedly. At the end Nadia came to
? give her a hug. She was full of compliments, How pretty you are, how clever,
? you speak so well. She thanked her, and said seriously: You’ve made us
? understand how much work we still have to do. But in spite of her lofty,
? almost solemn tone, to Lila she seemed more childish than she remembered
? when, that night years earlier, she had seen her with Nino. What did they do,
? she and the son of Sarratore, did they dance, did they talk, did they stroke
? each other, did they kiss? She no longer knew. Certainly, the girl had a
? loveliness that was unforgettable. And now Lila thought, seeing Nadia right
? before her, she seemed even purer than she had then, pure and fragile and so
? genuinely open to the suffering of others that she appeared to feel their
? torments in her own body to an unendurable extent.
“你還來嗎？”
“Will you come back?”
“我有孩子呢。”
“I have the child.”
“你要繼續(xù)來參加活動，我們需要你?！?/p>
“You have to come back, we need you.”
但莉拉很不自在地搖了搖頭，她對娜迪雅重復說：“我有孩子?！彼檬职颜布{羅指給娜迪雅看，并對詹納羅說：“你向這位小姐問個好，告訴她，你會讀書寫字，你讓她聽聽，你說話說得多好?！闭布{羅抱著莉拉的脖子，擋著了她的臉，娜迪雅在點頭微笑，但莉拉并沒有看到。她對娜迪雅說：“我有孩子，我每天工作八個小時，還不算加班的時間，像我這種處境的人，每天一下班就想著睡覺?！弊詈笏行┚Ａ撸X得她在外人面前過于暴露自己了。是的，這些都是好人，他們雖然非常了解那些抽象的東西，但可能對具體的情況并不了解。我知道——莉拉腦子里這樣想著，但并沒有說出來——我知道，過著富裕的生活，充滿了好的意愿是怎么回事兒，而你都沒法想象真正的貧窮是什么樣子的。
But Lila shook her head uneasily, she
? repeated to Nadia: I have the child, and pointed to him, and to Gennaro she
? said, Say hello to the lady, tell her you know how to read and write, let her
? hear how well you speak. And since Gennaro hid his face against her neck
? while Nadia smiled vaguely but didn’t seem to notice him, she said again to
? her: I have the child, I work eight hours a day not counting overtime, people
? in my situation want only to sleep at night. She left in a daze, with the
? impression of having exposed herself too fully to people who, yes, were
? good-hearted but who, even if they understood it in the abstract, in the
? concrete couldn’t understand a thing. I know—it stayed in her head without
? becoming sound—I know what a comfortable life full of good intentions means,
? you can’t even imagine what real misery is.
來到街上，她的那種不舒服的感覺更強烈了。他們走向汽車時，她感到帕斯卡萊和恩佐都有些悶悶不樂，她感到自己的發(fā)言傷到他們了。帕斯卡萊很輕柔地拉著她的一只胳膊，那是他之前從來沒有過的舉動，他是想拉近他們之間的距離。他問：
Once she was on the street her uneasiness
? increased. As they went toward the car, she felt that Pasquale and Enzo were
? sulking, she guessed that her speech had wounded them. Pasquale took her
? gently by the arm, closing a physical gap that before that moment he had
? never tried to close, and asked her:
“你真的在那種條件下工作？”
“You really work in those conditions?”
這種身體接觸讓她很煩，她甩開了他的手，反問了一句：
She, irritated by the contact, pulled her
? arm away, protesting:
“你是怎么工作的，你們倆是怎么工作的？”
?“And how do you work, the two of you, how do? you work?”
他們沒有回答，他們干活很累，這大家都心知肚明。至少恩佐會親眼看到，在工廠里，有些女工被辛苦的工作折磨，還要遭受凌辱、承擔家務，她們并不比莉拉輕松。然而現(xiàn)在兩個男人，都為她的工作處境而陰沉著臉，他們沒辦法容忍這一點。對這些男人，真需要隱瞞一切。他們更希望什么都不知道，他們更愿意假裝在廠子里的那些老板做的事情，會奇跡般地，不會發(fā)生在自己在意的女人身上——這就是他們從小都有的思想——他們應該保護自己的女人，那是即使被殺，也不能逃避的責任。他們的沉默，讓莉拉更加氣憤了。
They didn’t answer. They worked hard,
? that was obvious. And at least Enzo in front of him, in the factory, women
? worn out by the work, by humiliations, by domestic obligations no less than
? Lila was. Yet now they were both angry because of the conditions she worked
? in; they couldn’t tolerate it. You had to hide everything from men. They
? preferred not to know, they preferred to pretend that what happened at the
? hands of the boss miraculously didn’t happen to the women important to them
? and that—this was the idea they had grown up with—they had to protect her
? even at the risk of being killed. In the face of that silence Lila got even
? angrier.
“去他媽的！”她說，“你們，還有其他人。”
?“Fuck off,” she said, “you and the working? class.”
他們上了車，到圣約翰·特杜奇奧，一路上也只是泛泛說了幾句。帕斯卡萊的車把他們放在樓下，帕斯卡萊很嚴肅地對莉拉說：沒什么可說的，你還是最出色的。然后，他開車回城區(qū)去了。恩佐懷里抱著睡著的孩子，臉色陰沉地嘟囔了一句：
They got in the car, exchanging only
? trite remarks all the way to San Giovanni a Teduccio. But when Pasquale left
? them at their house he said to her seriously: There’s nothing to do, you’re
? always the best, and then he left again for the neighborhood. Enzo, instead,
? with the child asleep in his arms, muttered darkly:
“你為什么從來都沒對我說過？有人在廠里碰你了嗎？”
“Why didn’t you say anything? People in
? the factory put their hands on you?”
他們都累了，莉拉決定讓他平靜下來，就對他說：
They were tired, she decided to soothe
? him. She said:
“他們不敢對我怎么樣?！?/p>
“With me they don’t dare.”
-*-
32
幾天之后，問題出現(xiàn)了。莉拉一大早來到了上班的地方，因為有很多事情要做，她手忙腳亂的，對于要發(fā)生的事情，她根本沒有心理準備。天氣非常冷，她已經咳嗽了好幾天了，她覺得自己感冒了。在工廠門口，她看到了幾個男孩，可能是逃學的學生，其中有一個很親切地跟她打了個招呼，并給了她一份油印的冊子，而不是像之前那樣，只是給她一張傳單。莉拉在法院路上的黨代表大會上見過他，她也跟那個男孩打了個招呼，目光有些忐忑。她把那個宣傳冊放在大衣口袋里，她經過門衛(wèi)菲利普面前時，看都沒看他一眼。這時候菲利普對著她喊：“哎！你至少要打個招呼啊，我們從來連一句‘早上好’都沒說過?！?/p>
A few days later the trouble began. Lila
? arrived at work early in the morning, worn out by her innumerable tasks and
? completely unprepared for what was about to happen. It was very cold, she’d
? had a cough for days, it felt like flu coming on. At the entrance she saw a
? couple of kids, they must have decided to skip school. One of them greeted
? her with some familiarity and gave her not a flyer as sometimes happened but
? a pamphlet several pages long. She responded to his greeting but she was
? bewildered; she had seen the boy at the committee meeting on Via dei
? Tribunali. Then she put the pamphlet in her coat pocket and passed Filippo,
? the guard, without deigning to look at him, so he shouted after her: Not even
? a good morning, eh.
她還是像之前那樣拼命工作，在那個階段她在剔骨區(qū)工作，她忘記了在門口遇到的那個男孩。吃午飯時，她帶著飯盒來到了工廠的院子里，想找個角落吃，這時候菲利普一看見她，就離開了崗亭，向她走了過來。那是一個五十多歲的男人，個子不高，身子很重，他有猥褻得讓人作嘔的一面，但有時候也喜歡和人套近乎。最近他得了一個兒子，他很容易感動，他經常從錢包里拿出兒子的照片給大家看。莉拉看到他走了過來，以為他要展示兒子的照片，但事情并非如此。那個男人從夾克口袋里掏出了一個宣傳冊，用一種充滿威脅的語氣，惡狠狠地說：
She worked extremely hard as usual—at
? that time she was in the gutting section—and forgot about the boy. At
? lunchtime she went into the courtyard with her lunchbox to find a sunny
? corner, but as soon as Filippo saw her he left the guard booth and joined her.
? He was a man of about fifty, short, heavy, full of the most disgusting
? obscenities but also inclined to a sticky sentimentality. He had recently had
? his sixth child, and he easily became emotional, pulling out his wallet to
? show off a picture of the baby. Lila thought he had decided to show it to her
? as well, but no. The man pulled the pamphlet out of his jacket pocket and
? said to her in an extremely aggressive tone:
“賽魯！你聽仔細了：假如這上面寫的事兒，是你告訴那些爛人的，那你就要倒大霉了，你明白嗎？”
“Cerù, listen carefully to what I’m
? telling you: if you said to these shits the things that are written here,
? you’ve got yourself in deep trouble, you know?”
她冷冰冰地說：
She answered coldly:
“我不懂你他媽在說什么，我要吃飯了?！?/p>
“I don’t know what the fuck you’re
? talking about, let me eat.”
菲利普非常氣憤地把宣傳冊甩到她臉上，說：
Filippo, angrily throwing the pamphlet in
? her face, snapped:
“你不知道，嗯？你看看就知道了。我們在這里面的人一直都非常友愛，沒什么矛盾，只有像你這樣的婊子，才會在外面說這些事兒。我想什么時候打開報警器就什么時候打開？我對那些女工動手動腳？我作為一家之主——一個有孩子的人，怎么會做出這種事情？你看吧，我會告訴布魯諾老板，你會付出代價的。你這個賤人，我真想撕破你這張臉?！?/p>
“You don’t know, eh? Read it, then. We
? were all happy and in harmony here, and only a whore like you could spread
? these things. I turn on the ‘partial’ as I please? I put my hands on the
? girls? I, the father of a family? Look out, or don Bruno will make you pay,
? and dearly, or by God I’ll smash your face myself.”
說完，他轉身走回了崗亭。
He turned and went back to the guard
? booth.
莉拉很鎮(zhèn)靜地吃完了午飯，她撿起了那個宣傳冊，看到上面的標題非常浮夸：《那不勒斯以及城郊的工人處境調查》。她翻閱了一下，看到有整整一頁，寫的都是索卡沃香腸廠。她在文章里看到了她在法院路上那次會議上說的每個字。
Lila calmly finished eating, then she
? picked up the pamphlet. The title was pretentious: “Investigation Into the
? Condition of Workers in Naples and the Provinces.” She scanned the pages, and
? found one devoted entirely to the Soccavo sausage factory. She read word for
? word everything that had come out of her mouth at the meeting on Via dei
? Tribunali.
她假裝什么事兒也沒發(fā)生，把宣傳冊丟在地上，沒有回頭看門房，就徑直走進了廠房開始工作。但是，對于那個沒有事先通知她，就給她招惹了這么大麻煩的人，她充滿了憤怒。娜迪雅那個小圣女，這文章一定是她寫的！文字矯揉造作，語氣煽情，一看就是她寫的。莉拉拿著小刀，在那些冷肉上進行操作，那種讓人作嘔的氣味讓她的憤怒更加強烈。她能感覺到周圍同事的敵意，男的女的都是那種態(tài)度。他們在一起工作很長時間了，他們知道自己遭到剝削，但都沒人吱聲。是誰揭發(fā)了這里的事兒？他們都毫無疑問地認為是她。因為她是唯一從一開始就表現(xiàn)出這種態(tài)度的人：可以賣命勞動，但絕不受辱。
She pretended it was nothing. She left
? the pamphlet on the ground, she went inside without even looking at the guard
? booth and returned to work. But she was furious with whoever had gotten her
? into that mess, and without even warning her, especially saintly Nadia.
? Surely she had written that stuff, it was all tidily in order and full of
? maudlin emotion. As she worked the knife on the cold meat and the odor made
? her sick and her rage increased, she felt around her the hostility of the
? other workers, male and female. They had all known one another a long time,
? they knew they were complicit victims, and they had no doubt about who the
? whistleblower was: she, the only one who behaved from the start as if the
? need to work didn’t go hand in hand with the need to be humiliated.
下午，布魯諾出現(xiàn)了，過了沒多久，他就讓人來叫她。他的臉比平時更加紅，手里拿著那個宣傳冊。
In the afternoon Bruno appeared and soon
? afterward he sent for her. His face was redder than usual, and he had the
? pamphlet in his hand.
“這是你干的吧？”
“Was it you?”
“不是?！?/p>
“No.”
“告訴我實話，莉娜！外面已經有太多人在制造混亂，你也摻和進去了嗎？”
“Tell me the truth, Lina: there are
? already too many people out there making trouble, you’ve joined them?”
“我跟你說了，不是我?！?/p>
“I told you no.”
“呵，你沒有？我們這里沒有任何人有這本事，也沒有這么厚的臉皮，想出這些謊言?！?/p>
“No, eh? There is no one here, however,
? who has the ability and the impudence to make up all these lies.”
“可能是某個職員說的。”
“It must have been one of the office
? workers.”
“職員就更不可能了?！?/p>
“The office workers least of all.”
“你想讓我怎么辦？鳥兒要唱歌，難道你讓它們閉嘴？大家都說是你。”
“Then what do you want from me, little
? birds sing, get mad at them.”
他嘆了一口氣，好像真的很確信是她干的。他說：
He snorted, he seemed truly strained. He
? said:
“我給了你一份工作，你注冊加入工會，我什么都沒說。如果是我父親的話，他一定會一腳把你踢出去。好吧，在風干室里，我做了一件蠢事，但我向你道歉了，你不能說我強迫了你。你現(xiàn)在為什么要說這些？你在報復嗎？你抹黑我的工廠，你白紙黑字，說我把女工帶到風干室，你瘋了嗎？我和那些女工嗎？我真后悔幫了你。”
“I gave you a job. I said nothing when
? you joined the union, my father would have kicked you out. All right, I did
? something foolish, there in the drying room, but I apologized, you can’t say
? I persecuted you. And you, what do you do, you take revenge by casting a bad
? light on my factory and setting it down in black and white that I take my
? women workers into the drying room? For chrissake, when? Me, the workers, are
? you mad? You’re making me regret the favor I did you.”
“幫我？我每天累死累活，你就給我那么點錢。與其說你幫我，不如說我?guī)湍惆伞！?/p>
“The favor? I work hard and you pay me a
? few cents. It’s more the favor I do you than what you do for me.”
“你看到了嗎？你和那幫混蛋說話的語氣一模一樣，這些東西是你寫的，你就承認了吧?！?/p>
“You see? You talk like those shits. Have
? the courage to admit that you wrote this crap.”
“我什么都沒寫?！?/p>
“I didn’t write anything.”
布魯諾撇了撇嘴，看了一下眼前的冊子。她明白，他有些猶豫，不知道自己該怎么做：是用一種更強硬的語氣威脅她，解雇她，還是后退一步，搞清楚還有沒有其他類似這樣的行動在籌備中？她拿定了主意，低聲說——盡管有些不情愿，但她還是做出一副討好的表情，強忍著他侵犯自己的那些鮮活記憶——她說了三句妥協(xié)的話：
Bruno twisted his mouth, he looked at the
? pages in front of him, and she understood that he was hesitating, he couldn’t
? make up his mind: move to a harsher tone, threaten her, fire her, retreat and
? try to find out if there were other initiatives like that being prepared? She
? made up her mind, and said in a low voice—reluctantly but with a small
? charming expression that clashed with the memory of his violence, still vivid
? in her body—three conciliatory phrases:
“你要相信我。我家里有小孩。這事兒真不是我做的?！?/p>
“Trust me, I have a small child, I
? honestly didn’t do this thing.”
他點了點頭，有些不悅地嘟囔了一句：“你要逼我做出什么事，你知道嗎？”
He nodded yes, but he also muttered,
? unhappily: “You know what you’re forcing me to do?”
“不，我不想知道?！?/p>
“No, and I don’t want to know.”
“我還是要告訴你。假如是你的朋友干的，你要告訴他們：如果他們要敢再來工廠前搗亂，我就會打得他們不想再來。至于你，你要小心一下：你要再扯的話，繩子會斷的。”
“I’ll tell you just the same. If those
? are your friends, warn them: as soon as they come back and make a scene out
? front here, I’ll have them beaten to a pulp. As for you, be careful: stretch
? the cord too far and it will snap.”
但那一天沒有就此結束，在出門的時候，當莉拉經過崗亭，報警器亮了。還是老規(guī)矩——每天門衛(wèi)都會選三四個犧牲品，那些害羞的姑娘，會垂著眼睛讓他摸，那些婆娘們會笑著說：“快點，想摸就摸，我要回去煮飯?！边@次菲利普攔住了莉拉，天氣非常冷，風很大，門衛(wèi)從小房子里出來了。莉拉渾身發(fā)抖，她說：
But the day didn’t end there. On the way? out, when Lila passed, the red light of the partial went on. It was the usual? ritual: every day the guard cheerfully chose three or four victims, the shy? girls, eyes lowered, let him feel them up, the savvy older women laughed,? saying: Filì, if you have to touch go on, but hurry up, I’ve got to go make? dinner. This time, Filippo stopped only Lila. It was cold, a strong wind was? blowing. The guard came out of his booth. Lila shivered, she said:?
“假如你敢碰我一根指頭，要么我會親手干掉你，要么我讓人干掉你?！?/p>
“If you so much as brush me, by God I’ll
? murder you or have you murdered.”
菲利普臉色陰沉，他指了指崗亭旁邊的一張桌子，那是一直放在那兒的。
Filippo, grim, pointed to a small café
? table that was always next to the booth.
“你把口袋里的東西拿出來，放在這上面?！?/p>
“Empty your pockets one at a time, put
? the stuff there.”
莉拉的口袋里有一根新鮮的香腸，她觸摸到腸衣里軟乎乎的肉。她把香腸拿了出來，忽然笑了起來說：“你們全是狗屎，你們所有人都是一路貨色。”
Lila found a fresh sausage in her coat,
? with disgust she felt the soft meat inside the casing. She pulled it out and
? burst into laughter, saying, “What shits you people are, all of you.”
