Today, I had a customer tell me that I don't look a day over 39. I'm 35. FML
遭遇毒舌，今兒有一客戶跟我聊天，突然來一句，“你這瞅著怎么也不像是三十九的人吶”，老子才特么三十五好不好。FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
還沒結(jié)婚呢，最近發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的奶子分泌一些白白的液體，所以去看醫(yī)生，結(jié)果在給醫(yī)生看的時(shí)候噴了她一身FML
Today, I prepared to do my early morning yoga, lowered myself on to the mat then felt a wet patch on my stomach. Turns out my roommate's cat had taken a piss on my orange mat and I'd been too tired to notice. FML
貓尿好騷，不要問我怎么知道的，早上本來想做瑜伽剛躺下，感覺我的瑜伽墊上面濕濕的，我室友的貓?jiān)谏厦婺蚰蛄宋揖尤粵]有發(fā)現(xiàn)，現(xiàn)在渾身都是騷的。FML
Today, I had to call out of work due to my house flooding. As if that wasn't bad enough, my bosspromptly（adv. 迅速地；立即地；敏捷地） accused me of lying because "the others from your town made it in today." I didn't realize we all lived together. FML
不管你信不信，我反正是信了。最近雨水比較大，今天我住的地方發(fā)洪水了，門都沒發(fā)出，然后給我們老板打電話請(qǐng)假?！澳銈冩?zhèn)上其他人怎么都能來？”我們老板這么跟我講。麻痹，老子怎么就不知道我們這里還有人跟我是在一起上班的。???FML
Today, a client wanted me to change the design I'd given him, again. I've been working with this client for a week now, giving him many designs throughout the week, and he rejected all of them. Today, after all of the changes he wanted, he said that I should just use the first design I sent to him. FML
設(shè)計(jì)狗一枚，給一個(gè)客戶做設(shè)計(jì)，一個(gè)多星期，客戶不停的提意見，不停的讓我改，今天突然跟我講，他想好了，就要我最開始做的那個(gè)（傳說中的懷疑人生）。FML
Today, while working at Starbucks, an elderly woman came up to me asking to turn up the heat. It was at 73. After explaining to her that corporate all the way across the country controls our heat, she's reporting me to corporate and is insisting I should be fired or she won't ever return. FML
被人投訴了，在星巴克上班的時(shí)候，一個(gè)老女人突然過來讓我把空調(diào)的溫度調(diào)高，當(dāng)時(shí)已經(jīng)是73（攝氏22度）度了。然后我就解釋說我們公司統(tǒng)一要求空調(diào)的溫度不能高于73度，然后丫就直接打公司電話投訴“你們要是不開掉這個(gè)討厭的家伙，我終生不會(huì)再來星巴克”???。FML
Today, after I arrived at work, somebody crashed into my parked car and left a big dent. The impact pushed my car up onto thecurb（n. 抑制；路邊；勒馬繩 vt. 控制；勒?。?and I got a parking ticket. FML
車被人直接撞出了停車位，現(xiàn)在警察在給我開罰單，誰能比我挫。FML
