1. Get to know yourself.

“You can’t be independent if you don’t know who you are,” Lancer said. To get to know yourself, she suggested journaling and reflecting on what happened during your day.

Ask yourself: “Did I speak my truth?” “Notice the gap between what you’re feeling inside and your words and behavior, which you show to the world.” For instance, maybe you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do, Lancer said. What can you learn from that experience?