特別的星

The Special Star

這份友情，質(zhì)樸又迷人，穿透我的靈魂！數(shù)年尋尋覓覓，總算開花結(jié)果。回首往事，流著滿足的淚，洋溢著幸福的笑。此刻，除了感激上蒼，還能做什么呢！語言蒼白無力，無法表達(dá)我的內(nèi)心。我只希望在你面前表現(xiàn)最真實(shí)的自己。恨不能把心掏出給你看，讓你明白我的赤誠。如果你看我的眼睛，你能讀懂我的心。語言會說謊，但是眼神不會。凝視我的雙眼，你會讀懂我心底所有秘密?？上?，你我千里相隔，而我必須憑借拙劣的文字，向你描述我的心情。賜我一雙翅膀吧！我要飛到你身邊，讓你感覺我真誠的火焰。

This friendship, simple and fascinating, penetrates through my soul. Years of seek eventually flowers and bears fruits. Looking back on the past, I shed contented tears with happy smiles. At this moment, I can do nothing but show my gratitude to Heaven! Words are too powerless to express my heart. I simply hope to show you my truest face. I am dying to pull out my heart so that you can feel my absolute sincerity. You can read all secrets in my heart if you look into my eyes. Words may tell lies, but eyes will never! What a pity! We are so far away that I have to describe my heart in poor words. Give me a pair of wings! I want to fly to you so that you can feel my sincere flame.

學(xué)生時代深受自卑之苦。在城里讀書，那些鄙視目光，刺傷我的自尊心。我讀書很勤奮，經(jīng)常得第一，稍微緩解我的自卑。中學(xué)就很痛苦，大學(xué)里居然想自殺。沒有人真正理解我，我一直是個孤獨(dú)的人。我的封閉，讓生活了無生趣。幸好那些好書拯救了我，沒有它們我早就精神崩潰了?，F(xiàn)在，我慢慢走出了自卑。特別這幾年，英語上的進(jìn)步，給我一點(diǎn)自信和快樂。

I was tortured by inferiority in my student age. Those scornful sights hurt my self-esteem deeply when I studied in urban schools. I often came first by studying very hard, which eased my inferiority slightly. I felt very painful in middle school and even wanted to commit suicide in university. Without understandings from others, I always felt very lonely. The self-enclosing killed all joys of my life. Fortunately, those good books saved me, otherwise, I would have fallen apart. Now, I have gradually walked beyond inferiority. Especially these several years, my progress in English gave me a little confidence and happiness.

我需要書籍給予我精神力量，也需要朋友給予我理解。書和朋友是我的雙翅，讓心靈在天空飛翔。在這個金錢和權(quán)力主宰的世界里，不容易保持純樸的心。我必須真實(shí)，必須簡單，否則我的心無法平安。

I need books to strengthen my spirit and friends to understand my heart. Books and friends, like my two wings, enable my heart to fly in the sky. It is not easy to keep a simple heart in this world that is dominated by money and power. My heart cannot enjoy peace without being true and simple.

我希望找到能照亮我靈魂的星。這個希望昭示著生命的意義。高傲的孤獨(dú)，也需要溫暖的理解和撫慰，沒有靈魂愿意長久孤獨(dú)。我在呼喚，也在渴求?；蛟S上蒼需要考驗我，呼喚卻沒有真摯的回應(yīng)，渴求卻沒有滿足的喜悅。失望與挫折接踵而至，卻讓靈魂越來越堅強(qiáng)，越來越深邃。我體驗到生命更深的奧秘，這莫非就是真正孤獨(dú)的收獲！我的心是柔軟的，也是堅強(qiáng)的。我固守那份純凈的天空，不讓邪惡和虛偽輕易污染。我的雙腳踏在淤泥中，但是心靈卻在天空自由飛翔。我要永遠(yuǎn)與內(nèi)心的丑惡作斗爭，不斷反省錯誤，不斷修正行為。我知道自己的卑微，但我仍堅信，只要一生努力，終會成就自我。

I have been hoping to find the star which can brighten my soul. This hope manifests the meaning of my life. The warm understanding and solace are needed for prideful solitude, and no soul is willing to suffer long solitude. I am calling and yearning. Maybe God wants to test me, so there is no sincere response for my calling and no content joy for my yearning. Disappointments and frustrations come one after another but make my soul stronger and deeper. I have experienced deeper mystery of life, and isn't it the gain of true solitude? My heart is soft but strong. I try to protect my pure sky from being polluted by evil and falsity. I stand in the mud but my heart flies freely in the sky. I will always fight against my inner evils, meditate on my errors and correct my behaviors. I know that I am petty and low, but I still firmly believe that I will reach self-fulfillment through life-long efforts.

滿天繁星，眨著眼睛，但目光并未投向我的心靈。那些可愛的星星，沉浸在他們的心事里，陶醉在他們的美夢里，而我不愿做那樣的夢，所以我不能靠近那些星星。沒有共同的夢境，就不會有共鳴的快樂。為了逃避孤寂，勉強(qiáng)改變自己，去適合別人的夢，那樣我會更加痛苦。生命渴望真實(shí)的表現(xiàn)，就像花開一樣自然。

The stars are winking in the sky, but they do not turn their eyes on my heart. Those lovely stars are immersed in their cares and intoxicated in their beautiful dreams, but I do not want to dream such dreams, so I cannot approach them. There is no resonant happiness without the same dream. I will suffer more pain if I reluctantly adapt myself to others' dream in order to escape from my loneliness. Life desires true expression which is as natural as flowering.

告訴我，你是那顆特別的星星嗎？你和我編織著相似的夢境嗎？你愿意在此停留嗎？

Tell me! Are you that special star? Do you weave the similar dream as mine? Are you willing to stay here?

譯于2008年9月15日。