原文：Is Your Personality Flawed? Learn the 7 Ways to Be More Likable
來(lái)源：Lifehack
翻譯：叫我NANA就好了
I study great conversationalists for a living. The best conversationalists are all very likable. The reason many people struggle to acquire/maintain friendships, progress through careers, or find romance is often the result of one thing: their personalities are flawed.
The seven most likable personality traits are listed below. As you read each one, honestly assess whether you fall closer to the likable trait or the opposite side of the spectrum.
翻譯：我研究非常健談的人在生活中的樣子，我發(fā)現(xiàn)那些非常健談的人都是非常討喜的人。許多人為了獲得/保持友誼，通過(guò)職業(yè)發(fā)展，或?qū)で罄寺脑蛲且驗(yàn)椋核麄兊膫€(gè)性有缺陷。
七個(gè)最討人喜歡的個(gè)性特征如下。當(dāng)你讀每一個(gè)，請(qǐng)誠(chéng)實(shí)地評(píng)估下，你是接近討喜的特質(zhì)還是與之相反。
一、Be Humble/謙卑
Admit your mistakes and don’t brag. Give others credit. Embracing your flaws is disarming. People will warm up to you quickly and more easily identify with you.Don’t be arrogant.
Example: “He’s an amazing artist. I still struggle drawing triangles!”
翻譯：承認(rèn)你的錯(cuò)誤，不要吹牛。誠(chéng)信待人。接受你的缺陷可以消除敵意。人們會(huì)更快的與你熟悉起來(lái)并且更容易認(rèn)同你。不要傲慢。
例如：“他真是個(gè)了不起的藝術(shù)家，而我還在掙扎畫三角形！
二、Be Caring And Unselfish/關(guān)心和無(wú)私
Care about others and what they are saying, doing, and feeling. Ask follow-up questions, and reference something they said in the past. Share and relate to their feelings.Don’t be cold or self-centered.
Example: “You mentioned last month you were thinking of _____, did you end up doing that?”
翻譯：關(guān)注別人的一言一行和感受，問(wèn)一些相關(guān)的問(wèn)題，提及他們過(guò)去說(shuō)的一些事情。分享一些同他們感受有關(guān)的事情。不要冷漠或者以自我為中心。
例如：你上個(gè)月提到你想要做____,你最后做了嗎？
三、Be Positive/積極
Not many people enjoy hanging out withDebbie DownerorEeyore. You increase your odds of being likeable by generally remaining optimistic and looking for the good in life. You will see more good in things simply by trying to see more good. Avoid complaining too much.Don’t be too cynical, negative, or bitter.
Example: “At least we were able to _____.”
翻譯：很多人不喜歡和消極的人一起。如果你保持樂觀的態(tài)度，你討人喜歡的概率將會(huì)增大，并且你會(huì)看到生命中更多美好的事情，你會(huì)更努力看到更多美好的事情。避免抱怨太多。不要太憤世嫉俗，消極或痛苦。
例如：“至少我們能_____?！?/p>
四、Be Enthusiastic/熱情
Give your words and expressions some life! You don’t have to be a cheerleader, but if someone tells you some good news, be excited for them. Put some feeling and energy in your voice. Remember, if you aren’t adding energy, you may be unintentionally subtracting from it.Don’t be an Energy Vampire.
Example: “Iloveyour kitchen… it reminds me of _____.”
翻譯：分享一些你的生活體驗(yàn)吧！你不必要像拉拉隊(duì)隊(duì)長(zhǎng)那樣，但如果有人告訴你一些好消息，請(qǐng)為他們感到高興。讓你的聲音里多一些情感和活力。記住，如果你無(wú)精打采，你可能會(huì)在無(wú)意中失去活力。不要成為一個(gè)吸食你精力的吸血鬼。
例如：“我喜歡你的廚房…這讓我想起了_____?！?br>
五、Be Goal Oriented And Passionate/目標(biāo)明確，充滿激情
Have direction in life and be able to share your goals. Working towards goals will increase your inner confidence. People are drawn to success and passion. Develop hobbies and passions. Talk about them.Don’t be overly lazy and uninspiring.
Example: “This weekend, I’m volunteering for _____ / running a _____ / trying to build a _____.”
翻譯：有人生的方向，并分享你的目標(biāo)。朝目標(biāo)努力會(huì)增加你內(nèi)在的信心。人們被成功和激情所吸引。培養(yǎng)愛好和激情并和別人談?wù)撍鼈?。不要太懶和，也不要?duì)任何事都不感興趣。
例如：“這個(gè)周末，我志愿為_____ /運(yùn)行一個(gè)_____ /試圖培養(yǎng)一個(gè)_____?！?/p>
六、Be Playful/做一個(gè)有趣的人
Lighten up! Humor and playfulness are critical to exceptional conversation, but also the hardest to achieve.For now, don’t be too serious all the time.
Example: “Even if I miss the game, I avoid everyone until I can watch it. I’m actually good at avoiding everyone. If there was a career for professional avoiders, I’d be a very wealthy man by now!”
翻譯：活潑起來(lái)！幽默和有趣是一段對(duì)話的關(guān)鍵，但也是最難達(dá)到的。從現(xiàn)在開始，不要一直那么嚴(yán)肅。
例如：“即使我錯(cuò)過(guò)了比賽，我也可以回避了每個(gè)人，直到不得已碰見。我其實(shí)很善于回避每個(gè)人。如果有一個(gè)職業(yè)是關(guān)于專業(yè)躲避人的，那我現(xiàn)在就是一個(gè)非常富有的人了！
七、Be Flexible/靈活
Adapt to changing environments. Don’t turn cranky when something doesn’t go your way. Being flexible means being easy-going and going with the flow of conversation instead of stopping it. Play along with silly jokes.Don’t be rigid or defensive with friends.
Example: “It’s closed? That’s okay, I bet we can find some cool ____ over at _____ too!”
翻譯：適應(yīng)不斷變化的環(huán)境。不要因?yàn)槭虑闆]有按照你的預(yù)期發(fā)展就變得情緒不穩(wěn)定。靈活點(diǎn)意味著要隨和，順著對(duì)話的進(jìn)程來(lái)而不是打斷它。開一些愚蠢的小玩笑，不要對(duì)你的朋友太嚴(yán)格，戒備心太重。
例如：“它關(guān)閉了嗎？那好吧，我敢打賭，我們可以找到一些很酷的____在_____太！“
Did you discover any traits you need to work on? Are there multiple areas for growth? If you aren’t sure, it helps to ask a friend or confidant. Honestly assessing your strengths and weaknesses now is crucial to improving in the future. When I work with my clients, I always start with non-verbal skills and the seven likable traits. Personality traits are easiest to assess, tweak, and evaluate. Spend some time over the next week thinking about these traits as you interact with others. Systematically work on improving one of the seven traits. Notice what happens. Notice how the other person reacts.
翻譯：你發(fā)現(xiàn)其他需要你努力的特質(zhì)了嗎？是否存在多個(gè)成長(zhǎng)的空間？如果你不確定的話，那么去請(qǐng)教你的朋友或知己將會(huì)非常有幫助。誠(chéng)實(shí)地評(píng)估你的優(yōu)勢(shì)和弱勢(shì)是至關(guān)重要的。當(dāng)我和我的客戶工作的時(shí)候，我總是從非語(yǔ)言技能和文中提到的那7點(diǎn)特質(zhì)出發(fā)。性格特征是最容易評(píng)估和調(diào)整的?；ㄒ恍r(shí)間思考你跟別人互動(dòng)時(shí)候的這些特質(zhì)，全面系統(tǒng)地改進(jìn)七大特征之一，注意發(fā)生了什么。注意別人是如何反應(yīng)的。
If you want to become more likable, you need to emulate the best. Compared to losing weight or getting rich, improving your personality is easy. You just need to try.
