Jeremy E Sherman? Psychology心理探尋 1 week ago
道德是他家，標(biāo)準(zhǔn)隨便拿。橫豎一張嘴，全都是他對(duì)。
Here’s a simple trick to dieting. Tell people that you’re on not just one but all the diets. Then always eat as much of anything you want because in all those diets there’s always going to be at least one that says you can.
在節(jié)食上面，有一個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的訣竅。告訴別人你在采用所有節(jié)食法，而非只是一種。然后，不管想吃什么，隨心所欲敞開(kāi)肚皮吃就好，因?yàn)樵谒泄?jié)食法中，總會(huì)至少有一種告訴你你可以吃這樣?xùn)|西。
A rasher of bacon? “I’m on Keto.”
Three jumbo bags of Nacho corn chips? “I’m on the high-carb diet.”
A fifth of whiskey? “I’m on the all-alcohol diet.”
來(lái)片培根吧？我在用Keto節(jié)食法。
三大袋Nacho玉米片？我正好在用高碳水節(jié)食法。
來(lái)五分之一威士忌？我在用不限酒精節(jié)食法。
You name it, you can have it. The omnivore's dilemma? The omnivores solution! The secret? Just apply all those diets selectively.
不管是什么，總有一款適合你。
雜食動(dòng)物的困境？雜食動(dòng)物的仙境！
秘訣是？選擇性地套用所有節(jié)食法！
You’ll gain weight but think of the advantages. Being on all the diets at once you get to claim you’re more health-conscious than everyone. Let them know! Whatever they’re eating, lecture them on why they shouldn’t because it’s a violation of at least one of your many diets.
雖然體重會(huì)增加，但想想這樣做帶來(lái)的益處！一次性采用所有節(jié)食法，你就有理由聲稱(chēng)自己比任何人都有健康意識(shí)。這當(dāng)然要廣而告之！不管他們吃什么，都要訓(xùn)斥他們不該吃這種東西，因?yàn)樗辽贂?huì)違反你的眾多節(jié)食法中的一種。
Dieting aside, this is how people often handle morality. They collect moral principles the way Imelda Marcos* collected shoes,* as though the more you have, the more status you’ve got.
除了節(jié)食法，人們對(duì)道德也往往采取同樣態(tài)度。他們囤積道德準(zhǔn)則，就像是 Imelda Marcos *囤積鞋子一樣，仿佛你囤積得越多，你的地位就更顯赫。
These binge moralizers are proud of their moral status. They’ve got more morals than everyone else. And how do they live? Certainly no more morally than the rest of us and typically less morally because they have an infinite library of moral rules that they can apply selectively to justify their behavior and scold others.
這些道德大戶(hù)們對(duì)自己的道德水平倍感自豪。他們擁有的道德標(biāo)準(zhǔn)比任何人都要多。他們是怎樣生活的呢？當(dāng)然不會(huì)比其他人更道德，反而通常道德程度要較低，因?yàn)樗麄儠?huì)從他們無(wú)限的道德準(zhǔn)則庫(kù)存中按需擇取，或是用于合理化自身行為，或是辱罵他人。
If they don’t want you to interrupt them, they’ll scold you like the number one priority moral rule is never interrupt ever.
如果他們不想你打斷他們，他們就會(huì)罵你，告訴你諸如：首要道德準(zhǔn)則就是永遠(yuǎn)不要打斷別人。
Do they follow it absolutely? Of course not! When they interrupt it’s fine. Why? Because it’s always most important to defend yourself. That’s the highest priority always. For now.
他們是否嚴(yán)格遵守呢？當(dāng)然不！
當(dāng)他們打斷別人時(shí)，就并無(wú)不妥了。為什么？因?yàn)椤昂葱l(wèi)自己”無(wú)論如何都是最重要的。這始終都是首要道德準(zhǔn)則。就現(xiàn)在而言。
And if you defend yourself in response? Absolutely not. Now, the highest moral priority is being respectful of others. Always. For now.
但如果你緊跟著捍衛(wèi)自己呢？當(dāng)然不行?，F(xiàn)在，首要道德準(zhǔn)則又變成了“尊重他人”，始終重要！就現(xiàn)在而言。
And if you call them on their hypocrisy, they’ll let you know in no uncertain terms that you should be ashamed of yourself for shaming them. Because the absolute highest moral priority is that you should never shame anyone. Always! For now.
如果你指出他們虛偽呢？他們會(huì)義正嚴(yán)辭告訴你，你應(yīng)該為羞辱他們而感到羞恥。因?yàn)榻^對(duì)首要的道德準(zhǔn)則是，絕不可羞辱他人！始終重要！就現(xiàn)在而言。
And if you give up and walk away. Now the top moral principle is never be uncaring, unloving or disrespectful. They have no respect for people who aren’t respectful.
如果你放棄了，走開(kāi)了?，F(xiàn)在首要道德準(zhǔn)則就變成了“永遠(yuǎn)不要漠視、不關(guān)愛(ài)、不尊重他人”。對(duì)不尊重別人的人，他們也不會(huì)給予尊重。
That’s binge morality: Binge on all the morals and you can binge on any behavior because there’s always some absolute priority moral principle you can pull out of your butt to rationalize your behavior.
這就是瘋狂道德批判：瘋狂甩出所有道德準(zhǔn)則，這樣就可以為所欲為做任何事情，因?yàn)槟憧偰芴统鲆豢罱^對(duì)首要道德準(zhǔn)則作為你的借口。
Morals are easy to embrace in principle but hard to put into practice. It takes discipline and work to actually apply them. We can’t apply them all.
道德準(zhǔn)則，說(shuō)起來(lái)容易做起來(lái)難。要遵守它們，需要自律，需要努力。我們無(wú)法遵守所有道德準(zhǔn)則。
People tend to collect morals as efficiently as possible merely for the status. Morals embraced as token badges of honor. They hear that integrity is a good thing. So they buy it in principle. “I’ve got integrity” They hear that mindfulness or Christianity, honesty or caring are hecka good, so they claim them for themselves. Why not? What does it cost to claim you’ve got these obviously-good things?
人們常常僅僅出于“地位”之目的而盡可能收集道德準(zhǔn)則。
他們把道德準(zhǔn)則視為榮譽(yù)徽章。
他們聽(tīng)說(shuō)正直是好的，因此他們就直接收入囊中?！拔乙舱薄?。
他們聽(tīng)說(shuō)“正念”或“基督教”，誠(chéng)實(shí)或關(guān)愛(ài)是好的，所以他們也照單全收。為什么不呢？
宣稱(chēng)你擁有這些很明顯美好的事物，有何不利呢？
Take caring. “Always care” sounds like a good rule in principle. But in practice, we have limited effort. We can claim lip-service care for everything, but we can’t care about everything all at once. We have to prioritize.
以關(guān)心他人為例?！笆冀K關(guān)心他人”聽(tīng)起來(lái)像是一個(gè)美好的準(zhǔn)則。但實(shí)際上，我們能做的卻有限。我們能嘴巴上關(guān)心萬(wàn)物，但實(shí)際上我們并無(wú)法做到。我們必須區(qū)分主次輕重。
A binge moralizer ignores that. They’ll be happy to scold you for being “uncaring,” as though the rule is always care about everything. They’ll apply the rule selectively. As they apply it the rule is that you should care about whatever they want you to care about in the moment.
但道德大戶(hù)們對(duì)此卻視而不見(jiàn)。他們會(huì)忙不迭地罵你“麻木不仁”，仿佛道德準(zhǔn)則是“應(yīng)始終關(guān)心萬(wàn)物”。但他們卻搞雙重標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。當(dāng)他們應(yīng)用這一準(zhǔn)則時(shí)，你則需要關(guān)心他們的想法，他們想讓你關(guān)心什么你才能關(guān)心什么。
People will often use loaded moral terms without bothering to define them. Try this out: If someone says you’re a butthead or they’re mindful ask them how they define those terms and notice their response. Chances are, it will be the first time they’ve wondered.
人們常常甩出大量道德名詞，卻根本懶得去想它們到底什么意思。試一下這個(gè)：當(dāng)別人說(shuō)你是傻X或他們有正念時(shí)，問(wèn)他們這些詞是什么意思，然后注意他們的反應(yīng)。很可能，這會(huì)是他們第一次思考這一問(wèn)題。
They’ll give you examples maybe, but examples are not definitions. A definition, at its best, is something you could hire someone to apply and you’d get a consistent result that agrees with the distinction you want to make. If you hired someone to apply your definition of a butthead they would be able to sort people out such that they would include all real buttheads and no non-buttheads.
可能他們會(huì)給你舉例子，但例子，不是定義。最好的定義是，如果你雇一個(gè)人去應(yīng)用這一定義，他得到的實(shí)施結(jié)果將是整體一致的，而且能夠符合你想要的特征。如果你雇一個(gè)人去應(yīng)用你對(duì)傻X的定義，那么他根據(jù)這一定義篩選出的人群將由絕對(duì)真正的傻X組成，不包含任何非傻X。
Defining our terms is difficult work. As a psychoproctologist, I've worked for over 20 years trying to define butthead and I'm still not satisfied that I've nailed it. I don't bet I ever will. The point here is that people often speak with authority without having even begun to define the terms. They go with the gut.? A butthead is anyone they happen to butt heads with.
定義詞匯，是一項(xiàng)艱難工作。作為一名“心理直腸學(xué)家”（定義與制約傻B行為的專(zhuān)家），我已經(jīng)花了20多年的時(shí)間試著定義“傻X”，但依舊沒(méi)有得到令我滿(mǎn)意的結(jié)果，而且我覺(jué)得我永遠(yuǎn)也不會(huì)得到滿(mǎn)意的答案。我想說(shuō)的是，人們通常還沒(méi)有想明白某些詞，就開(kāi)始以權(quán)威口氣使用它們。他們?nèi)珣{直覺(jué)。所有跟他們有沖突的人一律全是傻X。
I’ve asked dozens of mindfulness enthusiasts to define mindfulness and I get the impression that it’s the first time they’ve stopped to wonder. All I’ve ever gotten are incoherent answers.
我曾經(jīng)讓幾十位熱衷于正念的愛(ài)好者們定義正念這一詞，他們讓我感覺(jué)他們之前從沒(méi)有想過(guò)這一問(wèn)題。而且我得到的，也都是一些并無(wú)條理的回答。
Whatever it is, they know it’s hecka good, so sure, they’re all for it. And don’t you dare question their authority on it. That wouldn’t be mindful of you. They’re the ones who judge whose mindful. And why? Because they’re mindful! They signed up for the mindful diet in addition to all the others.
不管它是什么，他們知道那反正是個(gè)好東西，因此，他們當(dāng)然要極力擁護(hù)。而且你休要去質(zhì)疑他們?cè)谶@一方面的權(quán)威。這會(huì)顯得你不“正念”。他們才是判斷誰(shuí)有“正念”的審判者。為什么？因?yàn)樗麄冇小罢睢?！他們?cè)诒姸唷肮?jié)食法”之外，也選擇了這一“正念”節(jié)食法。
We embrace moral principles intuitively and inconsistently because it’s too much work to seek consistency.
我們?nèi)珣{直覺(jué)、毫無(wú)條理地去接納道德準(zhǔn)則，因?yàn)橄胍非笠恢滦?，勞神費(fèi)力！
To lose weight successfully you need to pick a diet and stick with it.
想要成功減肥，你需要選擇一種節(jié)食法，一以貫之。
If you want to live a moral life, you have to prioritize. You can’t just claim one absolute priority one moment and another the next to rationalize whatever you want to do. One consequence of this self-discipline is that you have to relax about the other rules. You don’t get to go around policing everyone on every moral principle you can think of. Cutting others that slack can be a disappointment. You can’t even binge on policing.
如果想要過(guò)道德的生活，你也需要選擇特定的道德準(zhǔn)則，并加以堅(jiān)守。
你不能“道德是你家，標(biāo)準(zhǔn)隨便拿。橫豎一張嘴，全都是你對(duì)?！?/p>
這樣的嚴(yán)于律己，勢(shì)必就意味著你在其他道德準(zhǔn)則上就要放寬限制。你就不能甩著各種道德準(zhǔn)則，到處做道德衛(wèi)士。放別人一馬，可能會(huì)讓你感到失望。你甚至連隨心所欲當(dāng)?shù)赖滦l(wèi)士都不行。
It’s hard to prioritize so most people don’t. It’s easier to be the Imelda Marcos of morality.
由于“由奢入儉難”，因此大多數(shù)人并不做道德準(zhǔn)則的“斷舍離”。還是成為道德的 Imelda Marcos 要更輕松些。
* For you young ones, Imelda Marcos was the wife of the Philippine dictator Ferdinand Marcos. When he was ousted in 1981 people discovered her closet full of over 3,000 pairs of shoes.
對(duì)于年輕一代，Imelda Marcos是菲律賓獨(dú)裁者Ferdinand Marcos的妻子。當(dāng)他在1981年被廢黜時(shí)，人們發(fā)現(xiàn)他妻子的衣櫥里裝滿(mǎn)了3000雙鞋子。
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