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2017-05-10Anjali回歸自然隨心而行

Om?Parama?PremaLea?Longo?-?Songs?of?a?Siren

當(dāng)我們遇到不符合我們預(yù)期的事情時(shí)，我們很快容易下結(jié)論，而且通常是負(fù)面的結(jié)論，或者往最壞的情況想。

Whenever we see an incident that is not what we expected or what we had in mind, we are quick to draw conclusions, especially negative conclusions and even worst-case scenarios.

比如說你遇到你的男（女）朋友和異性吃飯，但沒有提前告訴你，你的自動(dòng)反應(yīng)可能會(huì)覺得他（她）對(duì)你不誠實(shí)。而事實(shí)上他（她）只是和一個(gè)普通朋友在吃飯，他（她）沒有告訴你的原因正是因?yàn)榕履惝a(chǎn)生誤解。

For instance, if you bumped into your gf/bf who is having dinner with the opposite sex, whom did not inform you earlier. Your automatic response might be s/he is cheating on you. When in fact, s/he is just having dinner with a normal friend and s/he chooses not to tell you because you might misunderstand.

又或者是你遠(yuǎn)距離的伴侶沒有及時(shí)回復(fù)你的短信可能因?yàn)闀r(shí)差或者他（她）比較忙。但你的自動(dòng)反應(yīng)可能是他（她）有外遇或者他（她）不關(guān)心你。事實(shí)上他（她）可能只是那晚比較早睡，并且沒有看手機(jī)。

Or when your long-distance relationship partner cannot reply your texts earlier due to time differences and the fact that s/he might be busy, you may automatically assume that maybe s/he is having an affair and s/he doesn’t care about you. When in fact s/he just went to bed earlier than usual and did not check the phone.

又或者你走進(jìn)一家店發(fā)現(xiàn)服務(wù)員不太熱情，沒有得到應(yīng)有招呼。你可能會(huì)覺得這個(gè)服務(wù)員沒有禮貌或者她瞧不起你覺得你買不起。而事實(shí)上她可能只是那天早上心情很糟糕因?yàn)閯偤湍信笥言陔娫捓锍臣堋?/p>

Or if a person walked into the shop and the salesgirl did not seem to be too friendly or chatty. You might accuse the salesgirl for being rude and thinking she might think you don't have money. When in fact she might just had a terrible morning and argued with her boyfriend on the phone before this.

又或者你剛和一個(gè)人約會(huì)，你感覺很好，但是對(duì)方?jīng)]有及時(shí)給你發(fā)信息，你可能馬上認(rèn)定對(duì)方對(duì)你沒有感覺。而事實(shí)上對(duì)方可能也是個(gè)害羞不主動(dòng)的人。

Or maybe you just went on a date with someone. You felt good but the other party did not contact you later. You probably automatically assume the other party is not interested. When in fact s/he may also be very shy to make the first move.

類似以上在我們生活中發(fā)生例子我可能能舉出上千個(gè)......

I can possibly list more than a thousand more similar incidences like the above that happen in our daily life...

我們的頭腦，和我們的意識(shí)不一樣，如果沒有得到很好的訓(xùn)練，總會(huì)感覺害怕，沒有安全感，容易執(zhí)著，所以我們自動(dòng)的反應(yīng)一般都是以恐懼為基礎(chǔ)。我們很容易進(jìn)入“戰(zhàn)斗或者逃離”的模式，就像動(dòng)物看到威脅一樣，是動(dòng)物的本能反應(yīng)。所以這就是為什么頭腦容易產(chǎn)生負(fù)面的結(jié)論。

Unlike our consciousness, our minds, if not well-trained, seem to have the natural tendency to feel scared, insecure, easily attached and our automatic responses are largely driven by fear...we are easily being caught up in the fight or flight mode, like animals when reacting to threats, that is the animal instinct. That is why our minds are quick to draw negative conclusions easily.

當(dāng)我們陷入頭腦的負(fù)面思考的陷阱時(shí)，其后果對(duì)我們的健康，生活中的關(guān)系和生活的其他方面都是非常不利的。

When we fall into the traps of our minds and negative thinking, the consequences of that may be quite detrimental to our well-beings, relationships and other aspects in life.

如果你能思考得更深，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)我們對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的理解其實(shí)是基于我們的看法。就像一杯裝滿一半水的杯子，你認(rèn)為這杯水是一半滿還是一半空，你都是對(duì)的。

If you delve deeper upon this topic, you might realise that our interpretations of reality are largely based on by our perceptions. Whether you think the glass is half-full or half-empty, you are both right.

對(duì)與錯(cuò)其實(shí)完全取決于我們對(duì)這件事的看法。所以為什么不選擇“杯子是一半滿”的態(tài)度來看這個(gè)世界呢？

The right or wrong answers in our mind actually depend on what perceptions you choose to believe. So why not choose to view this world with the lense of 'the glass is half-full' perspective?

你要知道我們?cè)诘厍蛏现挥卸虝旱臅r(shí)間（當(dāng)然我相信輪回，但在這里我們就談這輩子吧 :)），而且在我們生活中的每時(shí)每刻都有可能是我們生命中最后一刻，所以為什么不讓每一時(shí)刻都變得精彩，變得愉悅呢？為什么還要給自己制造更多沒有必要的煩惱呢？

Given that we only have limited time on earth (although I believe in reincarnation, but let's just talk about this lifetime :)) and each and every moment of our life could potentially all be the last moment of our life, why not make each moment as joyous as possible? Why even bother creating even more miseries for yourself in life?

今天小編想分享給大家如何以“杯子是一半滿”的態(tài)度來生活。

So here is how to live life through ‘the glass is half-full’ perspective.

1. 明白可能還有另一邊你不知道的故事

1.Understand that there may be another side of the story

幾乎在任何情況下總有另一邊的故事。如果你的愛人沒有像平時(shí)那樣及時(shí)回復(fù)你的信息，可能他（她）正在忙。如果你的伴侶選擇不告訴你一些事情，可能因?yàn)樗ㄋ┡履阏`解。

There is often always another side of the story in almost all the circumstances. If your loved one did not reply your texts earlier than usual, it could be s/he was busy in the middle of something. If your partner chooses not to disclose certain things to you, it could be she/he might worry that you might misunderstand.

因此我們不應(yīng)該太容易根據(jù)我們的想法和偏見下結(jié)論。

Therefore, one should not draw conclusions too easily and too quickly according to one’s own perceptions and biases.

2. ? 在下結(jié)論前給對(duì)方解釋的機(jī)會(huì)，耐心傾聽

2.Offering a chance for explanation beforedrawing definite conclusions and listen patiently

這點(diǎn)對(duì)很多關(guān)系都非常重要。這就是為什么溝通尤其重要。 ?如果一方覺得另一方的行為不太正確，以其馬上厲聲指責(zé)，我們應(yīng)該給對(duì)方一個(gè)解釋的機(jī)會(huì)，并且試圖明白為什么對(duì)方會(huì)這樣做。

This is especially important in relationships. That is when communications become crucial. If one partner feels the other partner’s behaviours may be inappropriate, instead of accusing straight away, one should probably offering the other party a chance for explanation, try to understand why the other party might have behaved in this way.

我們都應(yīng)該耐心的傾聽，用寬容的耳朵和慈悲的眼神去傾聽。

And we should all listen patiently and listen with ears of tolerance and eyes of compassion.

3. 選擇相信積極的一面－‘杯子總是一半滿’

3.Choose to think positively –

‘glass is always half-full’

如果對(duì)方無法解釋，比如說我們根本不認(rèn)識(shí)對(duì)方。那我們應(yīng)該選擇相信積極的一面。畢竟選擇相信負(fù)面對(duì)我們一點(diǎn)益處的沒有，除了破壞我們的心情，浪費(fèi)我們的精力以及生活中寶貴的時(shí)間。

If explanations cannot be given, for instance, we may not even know the person. Then perhaps choose to think positively. After all, how does thinking negative serving us in any beneficially way instead of ruining our mood, wasting our energy and precious moments in life.

所以以其認(rèn)為那個(gè)服務(wù)員不禮貌瞧不起你，為什么不選擇相信她可能度過了很糟糕的的一天，可能剛和男朋友在電話吵架，所以她工作不在狀態(tài)。

So instead of assuming the absent-minded salesgirl being rude, perhaps choose to think that she has had a horrible day and perhaps just argued with the boyfriend on the phone, hence explained her absent-mindedness at work.

以其認(rèn)為我們的伴侶可能在欺騙我們，為什么不愿意選擇相信他（她）可能真的是在忙所以無法及時(shí)回復(fù)信息。選擇相信對(duì)方的解釋，選擇相信總有我們不知道的故事。

Instead of assuming our partner is cheating on us, perhaps choose to think that s/he might be really busy with work or other matters thus s/he could not reply our texts promptly. Try to believe the others' explainations and believing that there are always other sides of the stories that we did not know.

4. 試圖理解和培養(yǎng)同理心

4.Be understandable and be compassionate

我們都是獨(dú)特的，有獨(dú)特的看法及交流方式，根深蒂固于我們成長(zhǎng)的文化以及社會(huì)和他人給我們條條框框的條件。

We are all unique individuals with unique perspectives and ways of communications, sometimes deeply rooted in the culture we brought up and conditions we have been imposed on by society and others.

有的人可能對(duì)直接的‘?dāng)偱啤瘻贤]有問題，而有的人可能比較傾向于不溝通來‘解決’沖突。而有的人可能根本無法直接面對(duì)面用語言溝通，更傾向于寫作。

Some people may be very comfortable in straightforward confrontations whereas others may tend to withdraw from communicating outwardly in order to 'mitigate problems' (in their perspectives). Some people probably just cannot communicate verbally at all and prefer writing.

如果我們都能對(duì)每個(gè)人產(chǎn)生更多的同理心，理解并且接受每個(gè)人都是獨(dú)特的，試圖不要強(qiáng)加自己的想法于他人并且太快的對(duì)他人的行為下結(jié)論。如果我們都能換位思考－把自己放在別人的位置上考慮。我相信這個(gè)世界可能會(huì)少很多痛苦，而且我們都能活得更快樂和圓滿。

If we could all cultivate more compassion towards our own beings, and understanding and accepting that each of us is unique, try not to impose our own views and drawing definite conclusions on others’ behaviours too quickly, and also try to put ourselves in other people’s shoes more often.I’m sure there will be less miseries in the world and we could all live a much happier and fulfilled life.

希望我們的生命都充滿愛，理解和慈悲。

May our lives befilled with love,

understanding and compassion.