我只能借借月光
讀過The Moon and Sixpence《月亮和六便士》之后挺鬧心。一開始也弄不清自己糾結(jié)什么，但肯定還談不及理想與現(xiàn)實。所以中英文讀過之后，又跟著感覺劃出書中描述思特里克蘭德的怪異與作品的語句，這才梳理出癥結(jié)。我所困惑的是：思特里克蘭德的理想或者信仰的根源。其實，這是對藝術(shù)本質(zhì)與天才個性聯(lián)系的疑問；也是現(xiàn)實中的小我迷茫。
思特里克蘭德既卑鄙又偉大，既殘酷又熱愛。因為他屬于人類，復(fù)雜又微妙。
而思特里克蘭德是人類的異種。
他在中年，像魔鬼附體一般，拋棄了平靜的家庭生活，舍棄了優(yōu)越的社會地位，去追求繪畫理想。他掙脫了安全又舒適的社會機體，直立行走于環(huán)境之外。他不算是合格的社會寄生人。
There was just that shadowiness about them which you find in people whose lives are part of the social organism,so that they exist in it and by it only. They are like cells in the body, essential, but, so long as they remain healthy, engulfed in the momentous whole.~Chapter 8
他絲毫不耽于生活的舒適安樂，不在意貧窮饑餓，甚至連疾病也不以為然。在塔希提島，他將自己強烈的個性，將生命傾注于理想的追逐。他的精神，他的信仰完完全全屬于他自己。他又算是最純粹，野蠻的人類物種。
He could never endure a foreign yoke. i believed him capable of uprooting from his heart ,though it might be with agony , so that he was left battered and ensanguined anything that came between himself and that uncomprehended craving that urged him constantly to he knew not what.~Chapter 30
正因如此，思特里克蘭德絲毫不限囿于世俗美的桎梏。他不在乎畫地歪七扭八，他不在乎現(xiàn)實獲得的經(jīng)驗。他要的是他心靈的意念。是記憶的一種創(chuàng)造。
‘‘Children. How can you care for the opinion of the crowd, when you don't care twopence for the opinion of the individual?"~Chapter 21
正因如此，思特里克蘭德虔誠的是：表達自己內(nèi)心的重大意義和感受。那是在紛雜事物掩藏下的眼睛以外的東西。
He did not hesitate to simplify or to distort if he could get nearer to that unknown thing he sought. Facts were nothing to him, for beneath the mass of irrelevant incidents He looked for something signigicant to himself. It was as though he had become aware of the soul of the universe and were compelled to express it.~Chapter 42
正因如此，思特里克蘭德只與自己較勁。他的心魔折磨著他的靈魂，所以他必須冒險，必須畫畫，哪怕遍體鱗傷以求得片刻安寧。畫畫是他驅(qū)逐心魔，求得生存的唯一方式。他只與自己較勁，他征服的是自己……理解了這一點，就不會對他讓愛塔燒毀他的奇異驚世杰作而詫異了！
"I think Strickland knew it was a masterpiece. He had achieved what he wanted. His life was completed. He had made a world and saw that it was good. Then, in pride and contempt, he destroyed it."~Chapter 57
我很好奇以思特里克蘭德個性傾注出的驚異杰作是什么樣子。我沒有敏銳的感覺和豐富的想象力，更沒有經(jīng)歷過他認識自己，表達自己的痛苦的折磨。所以，只能查找思特里克蘭德的原型高更的畫來直觀地感受一種原始性。
?
It was not only the bold simplification of the drawing which showed so rich and so singular a personality; it was not only the painting, though the flesh was painted with a passionate sensuality which had in it something miraculous ; it was not only the solidity, but also you felt extraordinarily the weight of the body; there was also a spirituality, troubling and new, which led the imagination along unsuspected ways , and suggested dim empty spaces, lit only by the eternal stars, where the soul, all naked, adventured fearful to the discobery of new mysteries.~Chapter39
他的畫作線條簡單大膽。實體感的肉體強烈，帶有奇妙的情欲，有一種純精神的性質(zhì)，使你感到不安，新奇的精神。把你的幻想引向前所未經(jīng)的路徑，朦朧的世界。那里為探索新奇的神秘只有永恒的星辰在照耀，你感到靈魂一無牽掛，正經(jīng)歷著各種恐怖和冒險。
雖然我們有各種美妙的,深奧的事情要說，卻只能局限于會話手冊上那幾句陳腐，平庸的話。~《月亮和六便士》
