?Mindfulness. 正念

Mindfulness involves being aware of present moment experience in a clear and balanced manner (Brown & Ryan, 2003). Mindful acceptance involves being “experientially open” to the reality of the present moment, allowing whatever thoughts, emotions, and sensations enter awareness without judgment, avoidance, or repression抑制、鎮(zhèn)壓 (Bishop et al., 2004). Why is mindfulness an essential component of self-compassion? First, it is necessary to recognize that you are suffering in order to give yourself compassion. While it might seem that suffering is obvious, many people don’t acknowledge the extent of their own pain, especially when that pain stems from their own self-criticism. Or when confronted with life challenges, people often get so absorbed by the process of trying to fix their problems that they don't paust to consider how much they are struggling

in the moment. While the tendency to suppress or ignore pain is very human, an

avoidant style of coping with negative emotions can lead to dysfunctional and

ultimately ineffective strategies such as substance misuse（物質(zhì)濫用）, binge-eating（暴飲暴食）, or social withdrawal不合群 (Holahan & Moos, 1987). Mindfulness counters反擊 the tendency to avoid painful thoughts and emotions, allowing us to

bear 承受witness to our experience even when unpleasant.

正念：正念是指對當下經(jīng)驗的覺察， 清晰，平衡的方式。 正念里的接納指的是對當下一刻的現(xiàn)實，保持開放的態(tài)度，不管是想法、情緒，知覺，都保持覺察，沒有評判、抗拒和抑制。

為什么正念是自我同情的關(guān)鍵要素呢？ ?首先，如果你想自我同情 ，意識到你正在受苦是必要的。 也許疼痛看起來是明顯的，但是很多人并沒有意識到疼痛的屬性（疼痛的特點，比如范圍，深度，怎么個疼法），尤其是這種痛苦來自于自我批評的時候。 抑或 ， 當你面對生活的挑戰(zhàn)， 人們經(jīng)常的是掉到解決問題的窠臼中，以至于，他們無法停下來考慮他們陷入掙扎的具體程度（到底怎么回事？）這種抑制、忽略疼痛的傾向（看起來）很符合人性的（天性）。 ?壓制、回避負面情緒也許會暫時成功，但是會導致功能失調(diào)，最終無效：會引發(fā)物質(zhì)濫用，暴飲暴食或者邊緣性人格障礙。正念與抗拒痛苦的想法、情緒的做法剛好相反，讓我們，即使在不開心的時候， 也能直面我們正在經(jīng)歷的事情 ?（林寶注：全然的觀察 completely observing without judgement）

At the same time, being mindful means that we don’t become “overidentified” (Neff, 2003b) with negative thoughts or feelings, so that we are caught up and swept away by our aversive reactions

(Bishop et al., 2004). This type of rumination沉思arrows our focus and exaggerates implicationsfor self-worth (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991). Not only did I fail, “I AM A FAILURE.”Not only am I disappointed, “MY LIFE IS DISAPPOINTING.” Over-identificationmeans that we define ourselves in terms of our behaviors, reifying them asdefinitive and permanent. When we observe our pain mindfully, however, newbehaviors become possible. Like a clear,still平靜的 pool without ripples漣漪, mindfulness mirrors what’s occurring without distortion（扭曲）, allowing us to take a wiser and more objective perspective（客觀的視角） on ourselves and our lives. ?

與此同時， 保持正念意味著，我們不會認為我們本身就是負面的想法和感受。我們會被我們厭惡的反應吸入和卷走。

這種思維的反芻讓我們的注意力聚焦在，并放大了自我的價值（的缺失）。 我失敗了， 我就是一個失敗者。 不光我感到沮喪， 我的整個生命都是讓人失望的。過度的標簽化意味著，我們在定義自己的行為的時候，把他們限制住了， 并認為那不可能再改變了。? 但是， 當我們正念的去注視痛苦的時候，新的行為就變的可能了 。正念之鏡，就像一池清澈的平靜的沒有任何波瀾的水，沒有任何扭曲的照見了正在發(fā)生的事情，這樣就是我們有可能用智慧的、更加客觀的視角去看待我們自己和我們的生活。