這是我參加頭馬俱樂部（Toasmaster）的第一個備稿演講。中文在原英文稿的基礎上翻譯。作為第一次的破冰演講（ice-break）, 內(nèi)容有點復雜，我也擔心會把聽眾悶到。不過，通過框架和PPT的視覺輔佐，還好，觀眾說10分鐘的演講只覺得過了7分鐘，一個小伙伴說像TED Talk, 另一個伙伴說喜歡我的內(nèi)容，要找時間跟我探討。Yeah, yeah, 第一次演講順利破冰！問題點：練習時間不夠，多了點AHs, Ens….and thanks a lot for Liki &JR ‘s feedbacks.
The Odyssey in Seeking Myself?
尋找自我的奧德賽之旅
About two years ago, I had a serious sorethroat and lost my voice. And my son did something which pissed me off. Yet, Iwas not able to shout at him, scream at him. I tried to scold at him but novoice. And my son pretended that he didn’t hear what I was saying. He smiled atme and asked , “ Mummy, what did you say?” That little creature really put meon the fire!
大約兩年前，我喉嚨嚴重疼痛，失去了聲音。我兒子做了件讓我生氣的事。然而，我卻不能對他大喊大叫，對他大喊大叫。我試圖罵他，但沒有聲音。我兒子假裝沒聽到我說的話。他朝我微笑著問：“媽媽，你說什么了？我聽不到啊?！蹦切〖一镎娴陌盐乙剂?！
At that moment, I suddenly recalled astupid idea I had before. The idea was that I wished I were a dumb so I did notneed to speak before others. But now l lost my voice, how terribly it was. Why Ihad such a strange idea?
在那一刻，我突然想起了我以前的一個愚蠢的想法。我的想法是希望自己是個啞巴，所以我不需要在別人面前說話。但現(xiàn)在我失去了聲音，真是太可怕了。為什么我以前有這樣一個奇怪的想法？
Similar to the idea, I had an image in mybrain that when I was in college, I wished to reduce a drop of water, so no one can see me. I was almost on the edge of killing myself，right? Is itstrange? Many young people want to be famous and want to be seen by others. ButI was on the opposite. I was very unique, right? Did anyone here have similarideas like me before?
與這個想法類似，當我在大學的時候，我腦子里有個想法，我希望縮小成一滴水，這樣就沒有人能看到我。別人看不見我，我?guī)缀跻詺⒘?是不是？奇怪嗎？許多年輕人想出名，想被別人看到。但我恰恰相反。我很獨特，對吧？這里有沒有人像我一樣有類似的想法？
Why did I have such strange ideas before? Ifelt uncomfortable with others. I had no confidence in speaking out.
為什么我以前有這么奇怪的想法？我覺得和別人在一起不舒服。我不敢說出來。
Why? For a long time, I attributed this toa DNA issue, e.g. I was an introvert person, I was not that nature who couldspeak well. So, I naturally preferred to be quiet.
為什么？很長一段時間，我把這歸因于一個DNA問題，例如我是一個內(nèi)向的人，我不是那種會說話的人。所以，我自然喜歡安靜。
But at last, I understood that it is notDNA issue. The answer to this question lies in this iceberg. Yes, I found thekey here.
但最后，我明白這不是DNA問題。這個問題的答案就在這座冰山上。是的，我在這里找到了答案。
Every?belief comes with reasons.It’s mainly from Pastexperience, especially our early childhood experience. All these experience& beliefs store in my subconscious mind.
每個信念都有理由。這主要是來自過去的經(jīng)驗，尤其是我們童年的經(jīng)歷。這些經(jīng)驗和信念儲存在我的潛意識里。
As?you can see from this slid, how the ABC formula worked in my childhood.The A represents Activations may include these factors: Parentswere too busy to pay attention to what I said. A stupid kid not favored byteachers; Had some stutters. Then Beliefsgrew in my mind: I was bad in speaking. I was not good enough. Followed bytheConsequences: Dare not to speak;Give up self-expression; Keep silent.
正如你從這張幻燈片中看到的，ABC公式在我的童年是如何工作的。A代表的激活可能包括以下因素：父母太忙而沒有注意到我說的話。一個不受老師喜愛的愚蠢的孩子；口吃過。然后，我的腦海里浮現(xiàn)出信念：我說話不好。我不夠好。隨之而來的后果是：不敢說話；放棄自我表達；保持沉默。
So gradually, those experiences & ideasconsolidated in my subconscious and become of part of my beliefs. And the more Itended to be silent, the more abilities I lost in speaking. It made a viciouscycle.
因此，這些經(jīng)驗和想法逐漸在我的潛意識中鞏固，成為我信仰的一部分。我越是沉默，表達和溝通的能力就越差，形成了一個惡性循環(huán)。
That belief made me feel good as it was aborn nature something in my understanding. I did not need to feel guilty when Idid not speak well. But as you know, it’s not the truth.
這種信念讓我感覺很好，因為它是天生的東西。我說得不好時，我需要感到內(nèi)疚。但正如你所知，這不是事實。
But?since?I also have some senses, I knew in our life and work, we had tocommunicate. So I struggled between keeping silence & saying something likea pendulum (鐘擺圖片). Yet this harmful belief affected me for a long time. Till verylate, in my previous company, I was obliged to take an English speech contestand won a second prize, by giving an impressive product presentation. Myconfidence in speaking was largely increased and thus, my past belief had beenrevised. So, my new experience reshaped my recognitions toward speaking, it’snot a DNA issue, it’s a learning issue, a deliberate practicing.
但由于我也有一些理智，我知道在我們的生活和工作中，我們必須交流。所以我在保持沉默和說鐘擺之類的話之間掙扎，內(nèi)耗不少能量。這種信念長期影響著我。直到很晚以前，在我以前的公司里，我不得不參加一個英語演講比賽，并通過一個令人印象深刻的產(chǎn)品演示獲得了二等獎。我對講話的信心大大增強，因此，我過去的信念也被修正了。所以，我的新經(jīng)歷改變了我對講話的認識，這不是DNA問題，這是學習問題，是刻意練習。
The first time I watched the film “When theMonster call”, I was shocked by a sentence in the film “You should be very careful what you believe in”. This sentence comesto my mind regularly. Yes, it’s pretty true:your belief determines how far you can go.
?當我第一次看電影《當怪物來敲門》時，我被電影中的一句話震驚了，“你要非常小心你所相信的”。我經(jīng)常想起這句話。是的，這非常正確：你的信念決定了你能走多遠。
So, check your beliefs from time to timewhether it is good for you. Some beliefs may be harmful or limited to you. Forexample, if you think you are too old to learn a new skill, then you really areold, and lose the chance of experiencing something. New.
所以，經(jīng)常檢查你的信仰是否對你有好處。有些信念可能有害或局限于你。例如，如果你認為自己年紀太大，學不到新技能，那么你真的老了，失去了體驗更多生活的可能。
Thenhow to stop the curse which hinders us from growing better? The answer lies inthis pyramid.This part is a bit hard for me. I try mybest to explain from top to end. Spirituality, identity, values & beliefs,these three levels are the individual beliefs, subconscious part.
那么，如何阻止阻礙我們成長的詛咒呢？答案在這個金字塔里。這部分對我來說有點難。我盡力從頭到尾解釋。靈性、身份、價值觀和信仰，這三個層次都是個人信仰、潛意識的一部分。
For this part, we need to understandourselves. Looking deep inside our inner voice, talk to ourselves frequently. Wecando meditation, writing reflections,?talk to trusted friendsto notice what’s going on in our mind. From the ABCemotional traces, we can find out what we are. For example, today, I was nothappy. Why? I saw Nancy had a new Gucci bag costed 10 thousand RMB, I feltjealous of her and I wanted to buy a new bag costed more than hers. You seeyour jealousy because of low self-esteem. You will feel less controlled by youremotions next time.
對于這一部分，我們需要了解我們自己。仔細觀察我們內(nèi)心深處的聲音，經(jīng)常和自己交談。我們可以做冥想，寫作思考，和值得信賴的朋友交談，以注意我們頭腦中發(fā)生的事情。從ABC的情感痕跡中，我們可以發(fā)現(xiàn)我們是什么。例如，今天，我不開心。為什么？我看到南希有一個新的古馳包，價值一萬元，我嫉妒她，我想買一個比她更貴的PRADA包。你看到你的嫉妒是因為自卑。下一次你的感覺控制的更少。
In your meditation or reflection, Checkwhether two egos fight against in your brain. I use this pic to illustrate therelationship of two egos. Oneself has two 2 egos inside. Ego 2 like parent, ego1 like the kid. If ego 2 keep on judging you, criticizing ego1.Once this voice appears, we cannot focus on?what we do. Instead, there will be lots of inner struggles. Try to turnego1 to look patiently at ego1, love him, empower him. Then you can focus onwhat you do, and find out the way suits you.
在你的冥想或思考中，檢查兩個自我是否在你的大腦中對抗。我用這張花藝圖來說明兩個自我之間的關系。自己內(nèi)心有兩個自我。這個花藝代表著個人，下面的花代表自我1，像孩子，上面的花是自我2像父母。如果自我2評判你，批評自我1。一旦這個聲音出現(xiàn)，我們就不能專注于我們所做的事情。這是一種強烈的內(nèi)心掙扎，消耗著我們的能量。試著轉變自我1，耐心地看著自我2，愛他，賦予他力量。然后你就可以專注于你所做的，并找到適合你自己的道路。
For the Identity part, it’s kind of yourdesires. I changed a lot since I became a mother, because I want to be a goodparent who can set good example for my son. I encourage him in public speaking,so I come here. I had strong desire to swim with my son, so l overcame the fearof water and learn how to swim by myself last summer.
在身份方面，這是你的欲望。自從我成為母親后，我改變了很多，因為我想成為一個好父母，為我的兒子樹立好榜樣。我鼓勵他在公共場合演講，所以我來到這里。我很想和兒子一起游泳，所以去年夏天我克服了對水的恐懼，學會了自己游泳。
For the capabilities, behavior andenvironment part, they are external parts as you can see. Finding anenvironment, a group you enjoy to stay in, I come here because everyone hasmotivation to learn, to grow, I love this. Human are group animal. We do needpeers who share the same value to encourage us to go together. For behaviorpart, as the Club president mentioned many times, learning by doing. Only bydoing, you can changed and learned. I had very deep feelings after severalattendances in TM club here. Stop too much thinking and waiting, just takeaction, then do evaluation, you will be on the way of upgrading yourcapabilities.
對于功能、行為和環(huán)境部分，它們是您可以看到的外部部分。找到一個環(huán)境，一個你喜歡呆在里面的團體，我來到這里是因為每個人都有學習、成長的動力，我喜歡這個。人是群居動物。我們確實需要具有相同價值的同齡人來鼓勵我們走到一起。對于行為部分，正如俱樂部的主席多次提到的，通過做來學習。只有這樣，你才能改變和學習。在這里參加了幾次TM俱樂部之后，我有了很深的感受。停止太多的思考和等待，采取行動，然后做評估，你將在升級你的能力的路上。
At last, be patient to yourself, be thefriend of time, to bravely embrace change & challenges.
Just like Forrest Gump said, Life is a boxof chocolate, you never know what’s inside the box.
The odyssey in seeking myself, it’sactually a journey to create myself.
Keep running, keep going.
最后，對自己要有耐心，做時間的朋友，勇敢地接受變化和挑戰(zhàn)。
正如阿甘所說，生活就像一盒巧克力，你永遠不知道盒子里裝的是什么。
尋找自我的奧德賽，實際上是一個創(chuàng)造自我的旅程。
繼續(xù)奔跑，一路向前！
