the difference between the perfectionist and the person committed to excellence:enjoy the journey

a. able to be happy

how do we overcome this living the the future being afraid of the persent because wht if i fail? 我們?nèi)绾慰朔驗楹ε率《ε庐?dāng)下而活在未來的感覺？ overcome the perfectionism.

a. 察覺到它的存在，認(rèn)識到什么是我想改變的，和什么是我想保留的想法，思維方式 。being aware of it ;being aware of what I want to change and what I want to maintain.

b. getting a more nuance understanding of what it is that I want change 更確切地了解到我到底想改變什么。我這么久都是個完美主義者，我總想著完美，總想著成功，我的潛意識讓我無法擺脫完美主義（my subconcious were stopping me from letting go of perfectionism）;

c. 完美主義：一種對失敗無法抑制的恐懼;an incapacitating fear of failure.

d. 思維仍然可以可以重塑，神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)可以重構(gòu)。

e. 不要用完美主義的方式來克服完美主義 apply the perfectionist arrpoach to overcoming perfectionism.

f. 接受完美主義的思維習(xí)慣將永遠(yuǎn)存在我們大腦中，will always probaly have part of it in me.

g. 這是一個成長，了解自我，反省自己的機(jī)會。opportunity for personal learning ,for reflection,for growth

h. accept it -change it by indtroducing behavior（通過建立行為來改變它。）

i. 想象自己在享受過程；we are enjoy the process/here and now,as opposed to constantly thinking about the dstination,and waht will happen if I don't get to that destination

j. 定一個終極目標(biāo)，說到那時候自己可以達(dá)到來解放當(dāng)下。

k. compassion.

l. 對努力進(jìn)行回報，對過程回報；rewarding effort,rewording the journey.（非常容易陷入對結(jié)果的回報中,也非常容易忘記回報過程 it is so easy to fall into the tack of rewarding outcome, and so easy to gorget to reward the journey.） reward the journey:point out"oh this was a great attempt"，"this was so much fun doing it"這是個不錯的嘗試,這非常有趣。

m. 非常簡單有用的技巧,可以用在各種困境中，quite a simple but very powerful technique: apply to difficulty situations

• i. permission to be human ，acceptance. 允許自己是個常人，接受這種情緒，接受這種困境，接受現(xiàn)實情況,respect for the reality。accept that is difficult，accept reality,accepting of the emotion. 對于現(xiàn)狀我不能改變，但是我能改變的只有我對它的詮釋『waht can change is perhaps my interpretation of what had happened』
  
• ii. 下一步：重建，將這種情況解釋成積極的;做一個益處的發(fā)現(xiàn)者：找找這里有什么是我能學(xué)到的，這其中有什么閃光點(diǎn)？這其中有什么成長的機(jī)會？next stop: reframing interpreting the situation as positive .and than would be the benefit finder:what's the silver lining here? what is the growth opportunity here?
  
• iii. 分心，轉(zhuǎn)移注意,將注意力轉(zhuǎn)移到別處,這跟逃避很不一樣，不能混為一談，因為這不是說『好吧,我這輩子再也不管這事了』，這只是說如果某種情緒或想法總是反復(fù)出現(xiàn)，我永遠(yuǎn)都在徒勞的抗?fàn)幹鴇istracting ,distraction；looking toward other place.this is very different from avoiding.not about saying."all right ,i am not going to deal with any of the issues in my life."it's just saying that if there is a recurrent thought of feeling and I'm experiencing a Sisyphean battle against it
  
• iv. 換個角度 taking perspective：一年后這會對我有影響嗎？
  
• v. 心智成熟：根據(jù)自己的意愿轉(zhuǎn)換想法角度的能力。 psychological maturity：is about the ability to willingly shift perspective.