淺談婚姻
On Marriage
輕易說出口的愛總覺得不大真實，因為語言總有太多的欺騙性。日久才能見人心，時間是最公正的審判官，經(jīng)得起時間考驗的愛才是值得珍視的愛。記得有首詞這樣寫道：兩情若是久長時，又豈在朝朝暮暮。因為相愛親密得沒有距離恐怕也是要出問題的，再真實熱烈的愛也同樣需要一份距離，應該保持雙方的個體性和獨立性。愛一個人并不需要時時刻刻守在他或她身邊，心與心的距離是超越現(xiàn)實時空的另外一種特殊的度量。這世間心心相印的愛太少，卻不乏貌合神離的愛，要不然為何離婚現(xiàn)象愈演愈烈。只要心中有真摯的愛，那怕遠在天涯也近在咫尺。
The love easily uttered in words always seems untrue, because words often hide too much deceit. One's true face cannot be revealed without a long time, because time is the fairest judge for all. A love is worth treasuring only if it stands the test of time. I still remember a poem, which says, "A permanent relationship does not care whether being together day and night." An intimate love without any distance will get into trouble sooner or later. No matter how earnest a love is, it always requires a certain distance to retain the individuality and independence of both sides. If you love one, you need not stay by his/her side in every moment, because the distance between two hearts is measured in a special way beyond time and space. In this world, it is pretty short of the heart-to-heart love but no lack of the seemingly harmonious love, otherwise why does divorce phenomenon prevail in the whole society? The sincere love within two hearts will make the world's end near at hand.
離婚時最愛引用的名言就是“沒有愛情的婚姻是不道德的！” 他要放棄沒有愛情的婚姻，再去追求充滿愛情的新婚姻。也許他結(jié)婚時的動機往往并不是為了愛情或者想和對方相守一生，或許只是為了工作、出國、晉升、金錢、虛榮等等其它外在的東西。目的是多么的不純正，婚姻成了一個工具或者手段而不是目的本身，這難道又算得上道德嗎？當外在目的達到后，婚姻的價值也就宣告結(jié)束，當然這種婚姻是絕對經(jīng)不起任何風吹浪打的，碰到什么克服不了的矛盾和難題，離婚就成了勢所必然，婚姻的悲劇就是這樣演繹出來的。依我之見，基于愛情的婚姻比基于外在因素的婚姻更長久，真愛是婚姻的紐帶。
"A loveless marriage is immoral!" is often cited at the time of divorce. He wants to give up his loveless marriage and pursue a new loveful marriage. Maybe he got married not for love or simple desire of living with her all his life but for other external factors such as job, promotion, money, vanity, etc. With such an impure motivation, the marriage is not the destination but the vehicle. Can this marriage be considered as a moral one? The value of such a marriage will vanish when its external aim is achieved. Of course this marriage cannot stand any hardships and frustrations, and divorce cannot be avoided when both sides get into big trouble or conflict, thus the tragedy of marriage happens in this way. In my opinion, the marriage based on love can last longer than that based on other external factors, and true love is the strong bond of marriage.
美麗的東西往往經(jīng)不住現(xiàn)實的考驗，“愛”和“寬容”都是美得不能再美的字眼，在這個最缺乏真愛和寬容的摩登時代，這些美麗的字眼簡直被用濫了，徹底貶值了。什么是愛的真諦？什么是寬容的價值？很難回答。
Beautiful things often cannot stand practical tests. No terms can be more beautiful than "Love" and "Tolerance". These beautiful terms have been totally abused and devaluated in this modern age which most lacks in true love and tolerance. What is the true meaning of love? What is the value of tolerance? It is hard to answer.
譯于2006年12月16日。
Now I think a marriage based on common values is more stable than that based on love or other things. Love is a changeable stuff, how can a marriage based on it be stable and last long?
Maybe it is a wrong idea that true love can last long or even forever. Actually, true love behaves like a flower, one day, it bursts into bloom, and then one day, it withers away. It is a very natural process. When a true love happens in your life, your heart is definitely like a flaming fire. But how long can you bear such a fire burning in your heart? So it must change or vanish. As time goes by, a true love may change into other form of feeling and take on a new look.
