作者:泰戈?duì)?/p>
譯者:水石山房主人(仗劍書生)
28
Obstinate are the trammels, but my heart aches when I try to break them.
Freedom is all I want, but to hope for it I feel ashamed.
I am certain that priceless wealth is in thee, and that thou art my best friend, but I have not the heart to sweep away the tinsel that fills my room.
The shroud that covers me is a shroud of dust and death; I hate it, yet hug it in love.
My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret and heavy; yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted.
譯文:
羅網(wǎng)堅(jiān)固,但我試圖沖決它們時(shí)心就劇痛。
我只要自由,但對(duì)自由的期盼讓我感到羞愧。
我確信無(wú)價(jià)之寶在你那里,而你是我最好的朋友,但我不忍心清除我滿屋浮華的裝飾。
灰塵與死亡之衣裹著我;我恨它,卻又依戀地將其裹緊。
我的債務(wù)繁多,我的失敗巨大,我的恥辱隱秘而沉重;可當(dāng)我祈福時(shí),我戰(zhàn)栗不安,生怕我的祈求得到滿足。
翻譯手記:
孟加拉語(yǔ)原作為《獻(xiàn)歌集》第145首。
改變是痛苦的。即便經(jīng)歷了巨大的失敗,意識(shí)到了深重的困境,當(dāng)想要走出來(lái)時(shí),又陷入重重矛盾,既對(duì)過(guò)往依依不舍,又對(duì)未來(lái)的不確定性感到恐懼,這首詩(shī)把這種狀態(tài)寫得入木三分。正因?yàn)槿绱耍P凰涅槃才顯得偉大。