3.Seeker: Much of the anxiety I experience comes through my relationships. Isn't it reasonable to expect some understanding from other people?

慕道者：我經(jīng)歷的很多焦慮都來自于我的人際關(guān)系。期待別人的理解是不合理的嗎？

Sadhguru: When you live in this world, there are various types of complex interactions happening. As your field of play increases, the complexity of interaction also goes on increasing. If you're just sitting in a cubicle, working on your computer with only one other person, you need only a little understanding; but if you're managing a thousand people, you need a vast understanding of everybody. Now suppose you're managing a thousand people and you want all these people to understand you, then you're not going to manage anything. You need to understand the limitations and the capabilities of these thousand people and do what you can; only then will you have the power to move the situation the way you want it to go. If you're waiting for these thousand people to understand you and act, it is only a pipe dream; it's never going to happen.

薩古魯：活在這個(gè)世界，會(huì)有各種各樣的復(fù)雜互動(dòng)發(fā)生。隨著互動(dòng)領(lǐng)域的擴(kuò)寬，互動(dòng)的復(fù)雜性也不斷增加。如果你只是坐在一個(gè)小隔間里，和另外一個(gè)人一起在電腦上工作，你只需要一點(diǎn)理解；但是如果你管理著一千個(gè)人，你需要對(duì)每個(gè)人都有一個(gè)廣泛的理解。現(xiàn)在假設(shè)你管理著一千個(gè)人，希望所有這些人都能理解你，那么你不會(huì)管好任何事情的。你需要了解這一千人的局限性和能力，并盡你所能；只有這樣，你才有能力按照你希望的方式改變形勢(shì)。如果你等待這一千人理解你并付諸行動(dòng)，這只是一個(gè)白日夢(mèng)，永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)發(fā)生。

4.Seeker: Suppose somebody is in a close relationship with me and is very important to me. Shouldn't I expect better understanding from them?

慕道者：假設(shè)有人和我關(guān)系密切，對(duì)我很重要。我不應(yīng)該期望他們能更好地理解我嗎？

Sadhguru: That's the point; the closer the relationship is, the more effort you should make to understand them, but that's not what's happening in your case, Ram. It so happened, once there was a man who had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, with his wife staying at his bedside night and day. When he came to, in those few moments of consciousness, he motioned for her to come closer. As she sat beside him, he said, "I've been thinking ... you have been with me through all the bad times in my life. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business went down the tubes, you were there working overtime and doing night shifts. When I got shot you were by my side. When we lost the house in that legal clash, you were right there beside me. Now my health is failing, and you're still by my side. Now when I consider all this, I think you only bring me bad luck". This is exactly what you're doing to yourself and to your relationships. Somebody becomes closer and dearer to you only as you understand them better. If they understand you, they enjoy the closeness of the relationship. If you understand them better, then you enjoy the closeness.

薩古魯：這就是重點(diǎn)；關(guān)系越親密，你就越應(yīng)該努力去理解他們，但你不是這樣做的，拉姆(Ram)。發(fā)生過這樣的事情了：有一次，一個(gè)男人在昏迷中度過了幾個(gè)月，他的妻子日夜呆在床邊。當(dāng)他蘇醒過來的那幾分鐘，他示意她走近些。她坐在他旁邊，他說：“我一直在想……你和我一起度過了我一生中所有的不幸時(shí)光。當(dāng)我被解雇的時(shí)候，你在那里支持我。當(dāng)我的生意陷入困境時(shí)，你在那里加班和上夜班。

當(dāng)我被槍擊時(shí)，你在我身邊。當(dāng)我們?cè)诜蓻_突中失去房子時(shí)，你就在我旁邊?，F(xiàn)在我的身體不好了，你還在我身邊?，F(xiàn)在當(dāng)我考慮這些的時(shí)候，我認(rèn)為你只會(huì)給我?guī)韷倪\(yùn)氣?！边@正是你對(duì)待自己和處理人際關(guān)系的做法。只有當(dāng)你更好地理解別人時(shí)，他們才會(huì)變得越來越親近你。如果他們理解你，他們享用親密的關(guān)系。如果你能更好地理解他們，那么你就享用那份親近。

5.? Seeker: This is easier said than done. It is difficult to always be there.

慕道者：說起來容易做起來難。很難持續(xù)保有那種狀態(tài)…

Sadhguru: See, It's not that the other person is totally bereft of understanding. With your understanding, you can create situations where the other person would be able to understand you better. If you're expecting the other to understand and comply with you all the time while you don't understand the limitations, the possibilities, the needs and the capabilities of that person, then conflict is all that will happen; it is bound to happen. Unfortunately, the closest relationships in the world have more conflict going on than there is between India and Pakistan. India and Pakistan have fought only four battles. In your relationships, you have fought many more battles than this and are still fighting, isn't it so? This is because your line of understanding and theirs is different. If you cross this I. O. C; this line of control, they will get mad. If they cross it, you will get mad. If you move your understanding beyond theirs, their understanding also becomes a part of your understanding. You will be able to embrace their limitations and capabilities. In everyone, there are some positive things and some negative things. If you embrace all this in your understanding, you can make the relationship the way you want it. If you leave it to their understanding, it will become accidental. If they are very magnanimous, things will happen well for you; if not, the relationship will break up.

薩古魯：瞧，另一個(gè)人并非完全沒有理解能力。如果你理解對(duì)方，你就會(huì)有辦法讓對(duì)方更好地理解你。如果你希望：對(duì)方一直理解你，并總能與你保持一致，而你又不明白對(duì)方的局限、可能、需求和能力，那么你們之間除了沖突，什么也不會(huì)發(fā)生，這是必然的。不幸的是，世界上最親密的關(guān)系中產(chǎn)生的沖突，比印度和巴基斯坦之間的沖突還要多。印度和巴基斯坦只打了四場(chǎng)仗。在你的人際關(guān)系中，你已經(jīng)打過比這更多的仗，而且還在戰(zhàn)斗，不是嗎？因?yàn)榇蠹业牧宋蚍秶羞吔缇€，而你和他們的邊界不同。如果你越過他們的這條控制線(L.O.C.)，他們會(huì)生氣的。同樣，如果他們?cè)竭^你的，你也會(huì)生氣的。一旦你的了悟界限超越了他們，他們的了悟也就變成為你的一部分。這時(shí)，你將能夠接受他們的局限和能力。每個(gè)人都有積極面和消極面，如果你明白并接受所有這些，你就可以建立自己想要的關(guān)系。相反，當(dāng)你將希望寄托于對(duì)方的了悟，那你們的關(guān)系將變幻莫測(cè)。如果對(duì)方心寬似海，事情會(huì)向好的方向發(fā)展；如果不是，關(guān)系會(huì)破裂。