2017年5月2日星期二印度班加羅爾
如果你的憤怒是一種手段，而且在你的掌控之中，那憤怒就是好的。但如果憤怒控制了你，那你就會(huì)陷入麻煩，并且連起因也消失了。用憤怒作為武器沒有錯(cuò)，但是如果它帶走了你平和的心智，你就需要用智慧來保護(hù)你自己。
控制憤怒的技巧:
這里有幾點(diǎn)關(guān)于怎樣技巧地讓你的心智從憤怒的掌控中獲得自由，從而體驗(yàn)到一個(gè)平衡的心智狀態(tài)。
1. 給不完美空間
導(dǎo)致憤怒的主要原因是你想要完美，我們會(huì)因?yàn)椴煌昝蓝鷼?，但這個(gè)世界上有不同層次的完美。給不完美一點(diǎn)空間。當(dāng)你給不完美留一些空間的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)更有耐心。
在家里我們都有一個(gè)垃圾桶，不是嗎? 你不會(huì)說，‘我不要在家里放垃圾桶’。那樣垃圾就會(huì)到處都是。 憤怒就是垃圾到處都是。當(dāng)你給不完美空間時(shí)，你就將所有的垃圾都放進(jìn)垃圾桶，隨它去了。然后你就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你能控制你的憤怒了。
所以練習(xí)對(duì)不完美的耐心。從不完美到完美需要時(shí)間。你怎樣給時(shí)間呢? 就是在你給不完美空間的時(shí)候。慈悲會(huì)升起，憤怒也消失了。
2. 在表達(dá)和壓制憤怒之間保持平衡
你不能總是表達(dá)憤怒，這會(huì)對(duì)你自己和你周圍的人造成很多的傷害。你也不能總是壓制憤怒，有的時(shí)候你需要把憤怒表達(dá)出來，不然你會(huì)崩潰。所以，你要找到表達(dá)和壓制憤怒的正確平衡。智慧是知道何時(shí)表達(dá)憤怒，何時(shí)壓制憤怒。
3 .不要為生氣而對(duì)自己生氣
達(dá)到不再憤怒生氣的水平，是需要一些時(shí)間的。憤怒會(huì)以不同的程度和強(qiáng)度不停地出現(xiàn)。當(dāng)憤怒出現(xiàn)時(shí)，不要開始責(zé)怪自己。責(zé)怪自己是一件非常有害的事情，要保持繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。如果你生氣了，沒關(guān)系，就讓憤怒來來去去。不要去其尋找憤怒的原因，而是去觀察憤怒對(duì)身體所產(chǎn)生的影響，讓身體保持放松。
4. 維系好的伙伴(Sangha)
你不能獨(dú)立做的事情，可以在好的伙伴的支持下完成?；锇橛泻芏嘁嫣?，也有一些壞處，因?yàn)樗鼤?huì)占用你大量的能量。好處是伙伴（Sangha）會(huì)給你很多你前進(jìn)所需要的支持。每當(dāng)你的頭腦亂七八糟，或者你的情緒上下波動(dòng)時(shí)， 伙伴會(huì)帶你繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。幫助你穿越那個(gè)局面。
5. 接受人的本貌
生活的藝術(shù)的一條原則是: 接受人和事物的本貌。
接受和給他人空間，會(huì)讓你的個(gè)性變得寬廣。如果你沒有擴(kuò)展了的意識(shí)，你就會(huì)變得非常僵化。惹惱你的人，在某些方面能帶出你最好的一面。他們能激發(fā)你的才能和技巧。當(dāng)你周圍的人都很優(yōu)秀的時(shí)候，你不需要任何技巧來處理什么情況。只有當(dāng)你認(rèn)為有些人是不合情理時(shí)，你才需要發(fā)揮你的才能和技巧。所以，盡可能把它當(dāng)做一種鍛煉。當(dāng)你內(nèi)心深處開始接受的那一刻，你會(huì)突然發(fā)現(xiàn)對(duì)方也在改變。這很奇怪，但卻是事實(shí)。當(dāng)我們改變時(shí)，他們也會(huì)改變。
6. 靜心練習(xí)
靜心肯定會(huì)帶給你克服憤怒所需要的力量，練習(xí)更多的調(diào)息法和更深入的靜心。靜心之后， 你會(huì)感到內(nèi)在的平靜和改變。靜心給你內(nèi)在帶來了轉(zhuǎn)變。記住，任何你做的靜心都不會(huì)浪費(fèi)的。
6 Wise Ways to Deal with Anger
Tue, 02/05/2017 Bangalore, India
If your anger is a tool and it is in your control, then anger is good. But if anger controls you then you are in trouble, and the cause is also gone. There is nothing wrong in using anger as a weapon, but if it is cutting your own peace of mind, then you should use wisdom to safeguard yourself.
Tips to Manage Anger:
Here is some perspective on how to skillfully free your mind from the clutches of anger, and experience a balanced state of mind.
#1 Give room for imperfection
The main cause of anger is that you want perfection. We get angry over imperfections, but the world does have levels of perfection. Give a little space for imperfection. When you give some space for imperfection, patience in you increases.
At home we keep a garbage can, isn't it? You cannot say, 'I won’t keep a garbage can at home'. Then there would be garbage all over the place. Anger is that garbage all over the house. When you give space for imperfection, you will put all the garbage in a can and let it be. Then you will see how you can manage your anger.
So exercise patience towards imperfections. It takes time for imperfection to become perfection. How can you give that time? When you give space for it. Then compassion arises and anger disappears.
#2 Balance between expressing and suppressing your anger
You can’t express anger all the time, you will cause so much damage to yourself and others around you. And you can’t suppress it all the time, sometimes you need to express it otherwise you will explode. So, you have to strike that right balance between expressing and suppressing your anger. Wisdom is knowing when to express it and when to suppress it.
#3 Don’t get angry with yourself for getting angry
It will take quite some time for you to get to that level where anger does not even touch you. It will keep coming in different shades and intensities. When anger comes up, don’t start blaming yourself. One thing that can be very detrimental is you blaming yourself. Keep moving ahead. If you get angry, never mind, just let it come and go. Instead of looking at the cause of anger, look at the effect it is producing in your body and keep relaxing your body.
#4 Keep good company (Sangha)
Whatever you cannot do alone, you can do it with the support of a good company. Company has many benefits and a few drawbacks too, as it can also take up a lot of your energy. The positive effect is that Sangha gives you that much-needed support to move forward. Whenever your mind goes topsy-turvy, or if your emotions are going up and down, at such times the Sangha will carry you forward. It will help you move through the situations.
#5 Accept people as they are
One of the principles of The Art of Living is: Accept people and situations as they are.
Accepting and creating room for others itself makes your personality much wider. If you don’t have that expanded consciousness then you become very rigid in your outlook.
People who irritate you, in some way or the other can bring about the best in you. They can bring out the talents and skills in you. See, when everyone around you is wonderful you don’t need any skill to handle a situation. It will only happen when there are people who you think are unreasonable. So, take it as an exercise as much as possible. The moment deep acceptance starts coming from within, you will suddenly find the other person also changes. It is strange but true. When we change, they also change.
#6 Practice meditation
Meditation will definitely provide you that much-needed strength to overcome anger. Practice more pranayama and go deeper into meditation. You will feel the serenity and the change in you after meditation. Meditation brings a transformation in you. Remember, any meditation that you do never goes waste.
