When your child is a gifted athlete
Last summer,Kate Douglass qualified for the 2016 US Olympic Team Trials in swimming — atage 13.
去年，凱特·道格拉斯獲準(zhǔn)參加2016年奧運(yùn)賽游泳預(yù)選賽，她只有13歲。
“She probablystarted swimming competitively at about six-years-old, and she had a knack forit,” said her mother, Allison Douglass, who lives in New York. “Now she’s 14, afreshman in high school and she’s training seven days a week. We fly all overthe country for various meets.”
“她大概從6歲開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)競(jìng)技游泳，她有游泳天賦?！彼膵寢尠蛏さ栏窭拐f(shuō)，她們居住在美國(guó)紐約。“現(xiàn)在他的14歲了，上高一，她一周七天都要訓(xùn)練，我們飛到全國(guó)各地參見(jiàn)不同的比賽?！?/p>
As thrilled asshe is for her daughter’s success, being a parent of an elite swimmer requiresa full family commitment. There are expenses for coaching and travel, the timespent on swim competitions and practice, and then there’s the fact that she’snot an only child.
她為女兒的成功感到激動(dòng)，培養(yǎng)頂級(jí)游泳選手需要全家一起努力?；ㄔ诮叹毢吐眯猩系母鞣N費(fèi)用和時(shí)間讓人頭疼，因?yàn)榧依镞€有其他孩子。
“She’s theoldest of three kids, and I don’t feel like her brother and sister should haveto suffer,” Douglass said. “I would never make them sit through a five-hourswim meet, so it’s a lot of split time where I’m at a meet and my husband iswith the other two.”
“她是三個(gè)孩子中最大的一個(gè)，我不想讓她的弟弟妹妹跟著我們一起受罪，”道格拉斯說(shuō)，“我不會(huì)讓他們兩個(gè)跟著我們一起靜坐等待持續(xù)五個(gè)小時(shí)的比賽，所以我們的時(shí)間要一分為二，當(dāng)我在陪練的時(shí)候，我的丈夫會(huì)和他們?cè)谝黄稹！?/p>
This summer shewill accompany her daughter to Nebraska for the Olympic trials, where they willstay for nine days. “We are fortunate that financially we can afford to dothis,” Douglass said. “We can afford to pay for coaches and travel around, butit’s still expensive. It wouldn’t work for every family. It’s a lot ofbalancing.”
In the US, morethan 26 million children aged six to 17 played team sports in 2014, accordingto the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. In the UK, 80% of children agedfive to 15 said they’d done some form of competitive sport in the last 12months, according to the Sport and Recreation Alliance. In Australia, 60% ofkids aged five to 14 participated in at least one organized sport outside ofschool hours, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
這個(gè)夏天她要陪同女兒到那不拉斯加州參加奧林匹克運(yùn)動(dòng)會(huì)的訓(xùn)練，她們要在那里呆九天，“我們可以負(fù)擔(dān)得起這次旅途的費(fèi)用，”道格拉斯說(shuō)，“盡管我們能夠負(fù)擔(dān)得起訓(xùn)練和旅途的費(fèi)用，但這費(fèi)用還是很貴的，并不是每一個(gè)家庭都能負(fù)擔(dān)得起，很多事情需要平衡。”據(jù)運(yùn)動(dòng)健身協(xié)會(huì)統(tǒng)計(jì)，2014年在美國(guó)有2600多萬(wàn)，年齡在6-17歲的孩子參加團(tuán)隊(duì)運(yùn)動(dòng)。根據(jù)運(yùn)動(dòng)娛樂(lè)聯(lián)盟統(tǒng)計(jì)，在英國(guó)去年有80%年齡在5-15歲的孩子參加過(guò)一些形式的運(yùn)動(dòng)比賽。澳大利亞統(tǒng)計(jì)局報(bào)道說(shuō)，在澳大利亞60%的5-14歲孩子參加過(guò)至少一個(gè)課余組織的運(yùn)動(dòng)。
Many of us havea sporty child, but if they turn out to be a gifted athlete, here’s what youshould really know about helping him or her pursue their talent.
很多家庭會(huì)有一個(gè)愛(ài)運(yùn)動(dòng)的孩子，但是如果他們真的有運(yùn)動(dòng)天賦，這里我們可以告訴你一些你必須知道的關(guān)于幫助他們發(fā)揮她們的天賦的建議。
take:Participatingin sportat this levelis expensive, in terms of equipment,time
off work for parents, coaching, travel to competitions andregistration costs. It’s also a huge time commitment that can impact otherchildren and family members. “You’ve really got to go into it with your eyesopen,” said Nick Holt, a professor in the faculty of physical education andrecreation at the University of Alberta, Canada. “That sport is going to
become a major part of your life. When you’re not at work, you’re basically
supporting your child’s sport.It’s a hard slog.”
需要什么：要達(dá)到這個(gè)運(yùn)動(dòng)級(jí)別投入不菲，需要考慮到運(yùn)動(dòng)器材，爸媽的吳工時(shí)間，培訓(xùn)，比賽必須的旅行和注冊(cè)費(fèi)用。同時(shí)，無(wú)法顧及其他孩子和家庭成員。加拿大亞伯達(dá)大學(xué)體育教育和娛樂(lè)系教授耐克·霍爾特說(shuō)：“你必須要親眼盯著，這項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)將會(huì)是你生活中最主要的一部分，如果你沒(méi)上班，你基本上都在陪練，這是一個(gè)艱難的跋涉。
The Douglass family, for instance, findit nearly impossible to take a holiday together that will fit around Kate’sswim schedule.“Swimming is a grueling sport and you can’ttake a week off from it,” Allison said. “It limits our family travel, which isa bit of an issue for us.”
以道格拉斯一家為例，為了適應(yīng)凱特的比賽日程，他們一家?guī)缀醪豢赡芤黄鸲燃佟?a href="" target="_blank">“游泳是一種非常折磨人的運(yùn)動(dòng)，一周都不能?！卑蛏f(shuō)?！斑@限制了我們的家庭旅行，頗為棘手?！?/a>
Holt alsobelieves that if you aren't resilient,you should steer
clear.“The best athletes in the world constantly make mistakes,”Holt said. “It’s not about making mistakes, it’s about being able to reboundfrom them.” If, as a parent, you find it hard to watch your child fail,oryou’ll be tempted to lean hard on him if he plays at less than his best, thisis not the lifestyle for you.
霍爾特認(rèn)為若你心理素質(zhì)不過(guò)硬，還是放棄吧，“世界上最好的運(yùn)動(dòng)員經(jīng)常犯錯(cuò)誤，”霍爾特說(shuō)?！胺稿e(cuò)沒(méi)關(guān)系，能否重新振作才是關(guān)鍵?！弊鳛楦改?，如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你很難直面孩子的失敗，或者是你的孩子不能全力以赴你不得不苦苦相逼的話(huà)，這種生活是不適合你的”
How long you
need to prepare:Thisvaries a great deal, because athletes peak in different sports at differentages. That said, experts believe you should give sporty children a broad basein a variety of activities before singling one out in which they specialize.Let them try different sports, or spend time running around outdoors learningfundamental movement skills before focusing on one thing.
需要準(zhǔn)備多長(zhǎng)時(shí)間：由于不同的運(yùn)動(dòng)項(xiàng)目運(yùn)動(dòng)員的最佳狀態(tài)在不同的年齡段，所以你需要準(zhǔn)備的時(shí)間也大為不同。據(jù)說(shuō)，專(zhuān)家認(rèn)為在確定他們應(yīng)該專(zhuān)注于某項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)之前，你應(yīng)該給孩子接受不同的運(yùn)動(dòng)項(xiàng)目訓(xùn)練。讓他們嘗試不同的運(yùn)動(dòng)，例如戶(hù)外長(zhǎng)跑，在專(zhuān)注于某一項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)之前學(xué)習(xí)基本的動(dòng)作技能。
“Sometimes parents think they’ve got to gettheir kids in whatever sport as early as possible, and give them extra trainingand specialized coaching,” Holt said. “But there’s a greater chance of thatleading to injury, and then the kid is burning out by the time they’re ateenager because they’ve had enough.”
一些家長(zhǎng)認(rèn)為任何一種運(yùn)動(dòng)都是讓孩子接觸的越早越好，而且讓他們接受加倍的專(zhuān)業(yè)的訓(xùn)練，霍爾特說(shuō)“但是這樣會(huì)更容易讓孩子受傷，在他們長(zhǎng)到青年階段的時(shí)候會(huì)由于受傷過(guò)多而消耗殆盡”
That said, ifyour child is showing signs of being particularly skilled in one field, you maywant to start saving toward future expenses, which will add up fast.
Do it now:Remember that you’re a parent, not a coach. “Ideally, a child has a couple ofparents who play roles that are appropriate for a mother and father to play,”said Peter Jensen, who has a Ph.D. in sport psychology and is the founder ofPerformance Coaching in Ontario.“Then when the child is elite, whether it’smusic or sport, they need expert outside advice, which usually comes in theform of a coach.”
據(jù)說(shuō)，如果你的孩子顯示出都某項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)有特殊的技能，你可能想節(jié)約未來(lái)的開(kāi)支，而這些開(kāi)支是越來(lái)越多的。那么，從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始：記著你是父母而不是教練。“理想狀態(tài)下，一個(gè)孩子有一對(duì)父母，父母各司其職，”運(yùn)動(dòng)心理學(xué)領(lǐng)域的哲學(xué)博士彼得·延森說(shuō)，他也是安大略省行為教練的創(chuàng)始人?！叭绻⒆泳哂刑熨x，不管在音樂(lè)還是運(yùn)動(dòng)方面，他們都需要來(lái)自外部的建議，這通常來(lái)自一位教練?！?/p>
When a parentstarts doling out coaching advice, they are blurring the lines, depriving thechild of a parent and adding one too many coaches to the pool. “I’m not sayingyou abdicate responsibility, but once you’ve found a decent coach for yourchild, you want to stay on the other side of that,” Jensen said.
當(dāng)父母開(kāi)始像教練一樣給予建議時(shí)，他們的行為界限已經(jīng)模糊，不再是孩子的父母，而是讓孩子多了一名教練?！拔也⒉皇钦f(shuō)要你放棄對(duì)孩子的培養(yǎng)職責(zé)，而是說(shuō)一旦你給孩子找到了一個(gè)合適的教練，你就會(huì)更愿意盡父母職責(zé)?！毖由f(shuō)。
Make sure yourchild is in the driving seat. Each year, you should check in with your miniathlete in the off-season and make sure they are still interested in playingthe sport again next year. It should be your child’s decision and motivation,not yours. “Parents get stars in their eyes, and a lot of them were engaged inactivities themselves and didn’t succeed,” Jensen said. “They get caught up in‘vicarious success syndrome.’ Just because someone is good at something, itdoesn’t mean they want to do it, and you have got to give kids the option.”
請(qǐng)確定你的孩子在他自己生活里的主導(dǎo)地位。每年，在季末你都應(yīng)該觀察一下你的小運(yùn)動(dòng)員，確保他下一年還會(huì)對(duì)他從事的這項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)感興，你孩子的決定和意愿才是主要的，而不是你一廂情愿。“父母都望子成龍，望女成鳳，很多父母他們自己是未成名的運(yùn)動(dòng)員，”延森說(shuō)。“他們患上了‘替代性成功癥’，僅僅是出于自己的意愿，而不是為孩子著想，我們必須尊重孩子的選擇?！?/p>
Cut costs whereyou can. All your expenses can add up quickly, but there are ways to save timeand money. Take turns car-sharing kids to practices and sign up for coaching ingroups, if your sport allows it. Some parents also volunteer with a club to getpart of their fees waived. Others fundraise for their team to reduce travel orcompetition costs.
在任何可能的情況下節(jié)約成本。你的所有花費(fèi)會(huì)很快增加，但是也有方法來(lái)節(jié)約金錢(qián)和時(shí)間。輪流接送孩子去訓(xùn)練，組團(tuán)報(bào)名，請(qǐng)教練。有些父母還在俱樂(lè)部做義工，來(lái)抵消一些孩子的培訓(xùn)費(fèi)用，還有人為他們的團(tuán)隊(duì)出行和競(jìng)賽組織募捐。
For MichelleGesky, whose 12-year-old daughter excels in horse riding, keeping expenses downmeans leasing a horse at a local stable instead of buying one. “There are kidsout there who have really beautiful horses,” said Gesky, who lives in New York.“I’m not one of those parents who can afford the $120,000 horse.”
米歇爾·杰斯卡12歲的女兒擅長(zhǎng)騎馬，為了減少費(fèi)用，她們選擇租賃而不是買(mǎi)一匹馬?！澳抢镉行┖⒆拥鸟R真的特別漂亮，”住在紐約的杰斯卡說(shuō)，“我們不是能夠支付12萬(wàn)美元購(gòu)買(mǎi)一匹馬的家長(zhǎng)。”
Be willing toask questions. When your child reaches a certain level, you may feel out ofyour depth because you don’t know enough about the sport or the training toknow what the best steps are. “How do you know what advice to take, and what’sbest for your child?” Gesky said. She recommends each parent does theirresearch by talking to other parents or going online, or in her daughter’s sporttalking to different stable managers, or people who have owned horses foryears. “You have to get your hands dirty by being a heavy communicator,” shesaid.
愿意提問(wèn)題。當(dāng)你的孩子達(dá)到了一定的水平，你有可能感到力不從心，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)這項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)或者訓(xùn)練了解不多，因此也不知道什么是最好的方法?！澳阍趺磿?huì)知道哪些建議是對(duì)的，對(duì)孩子來(lái)說(shuō)什么是最好的？”杰斯克說(shuō)。她建議每個(gè)家長(zhǎng)要通過(guò)和別的家長(zhǎng)面對(duì)面交流或者上網(wǎng)聊天，或者就他女兒的運(yùn)動(dòng)項(xiàng)目與不同的長(zhǎng)期經(jīng)營(yíng)者或者是自己有馬的人交流?！耙蔀橐粋€(gè)善于溝通的人，必須親力親為，”她說(shuō)。
Do it
later:Don’thang your hat on dreams of a ‘pro’ career. If you’re pushing your child tocompete at an elite level because you have hopes of a professional sportscareer and sizeable payday, you may want to check your ego. “The odds areastronomical that that’s going to happen,” Jensen said.
不要急著做：不要總是期待著孩子成為專(zhuān)業(yè)的運(yùn)動(dòng)員，如果你為了想讓孩子成為專(zhuān)業(yè)選手能夠有巨額收入而逼迫孩子挑戰(zhàn)高水平訓(xùn)練，那你就需要自我反省了。“發(fā)生概率猶如天文數(shù)字，微乎其微，”詹森說(shuō)。
Know thatscholarships are also scarce. In places where university is very expensive(such as the US), shining at a sport could land your child a less expensive orfree place at school. But those prizes are rare—only about 2% of high schoolathletes get some form of athletic scholarship to compete in university,according to the US National Collegiate Athletic Association.
要知道獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金是非常少的。有些地方的大學(xué)學(xué)費(fèi)非常昂貴（例如美國(guó)），擅長(zhǎng)某項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)能使你的孩子在學(xué)校減免學(xué)費(fèi)。但是這種獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)很少——美國(guó)大學(xué)運(yùn)動(dòng)協(xié)會(huì)表示，只有2%的高中學(xué)校運(yùn)動(dòng)員可通過(guò)競(jìng)爭(zhēng)獲得大學(xué)的運(yùn)動(dòng)獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金。
That said,success depends on your sport, and it’s not impossible. Gesky has found thatcolleges with equestrian programs often have trainers at tournaments who may belooking for future team members. “A lot of these kids get scholarshipoffers out of having participated in this,” she said.
這就意味著，只依賴(lài)你的體育運(yùn)動(dòng)來(lái)獲得成功是不可能的。杰斯凱發(fā)現(xiàn)，設(shè)有騎術(shù)專(zhuān)業(yè)的大學(xué)通常會(huì)有參與錦標(biāo)賽的教練，他們可能需要儲(chǔ)備隊(duì)員，“很多孩子因?yàn)閰⒓舆^(guò)這樣的比賽而得到獎(jiǎng)學(xué)金，”她說(shuō)。
Do it smarter:Realise that it’s an investment — inyour child. The money you’re spending can feel like a down payment on futuresuccess. But if your child decides, at 16, or halfway through college, thatshe’s done with her sport, it’s not money wasted. Years of athletic endeavourswill likely teach your child to handle adversity, be part of a team, work hardeven on bad days, and to juggle sport and school commitments. “She’s learnedall kinds of things that are going to be valuable life lessons,” Jensen said.
明智一些：要知道，這是一項(xiàng)投資——對(duì)孩子的投資。你花的這些錢(qián)就像是對(duì)未來(lái)成功的一種投資。但如果你的孩子下定決心，在16歲，或者是大學(xué)中期她還堅(jiān)持做這項(xiàng)運(yùn)動(dòng)，這筆錢(qián)就沒(méi)有白花。多年的運(yùn)動(dòng)訓(xùn)練有可能教會(huì)你的孩子克服困難，有團(tuán)隊(duì)精神，即使在困境中也會(huì)努力工作，經(jīng)常參加學(xué)校體育活動(dòng)或者社團(tuán)活動(dòng)?！八龑W(xué)得所有東西都講會(huì)是有價(jià)值的人生課?！闭采f(shuō)。
“I think it’sjust about balance and keeping things in perspective,” Allison Douglass said.“As long as she’s getting something out of it, we’re all getting something outof it.”
“我認(rèn)為問(wèn)題在于平衡發(fā)展，并滿(mǎn)懷憧憬，”艾莉森·道格拉斯說(shuō)，“只要她能從中有所收獲，我們所有人的努力就沒(méi)有白費(fèi)?！?/p>
