Removing Ourselves From the Center of Everything BY LEO BABAUTA
BY劉安娜160816
——說(shuō)明——
LEO BABAUTA是博客禪習(xí)慣（Zenhabits）創(chuàng)始人，專注寫(xiě)作25年，博客文章版權(quán)全部公開(kāi)，這篇文章原文版權(quán)還是歸屬Leo，譯文版權(quán)歸我本人。可以參考譯文學(xué)習(xí)，當(dāng)然譯文只是我的理解，也不一定百分百正確，歡迎發(fā)簡(jiǎn)信或評(píng)論討論，或提供更好譯文供參考學(xué)習(xí)。
——正文——
When we go about our day, we tell ourselves a story about what’s happening … and at the center of that narrative is a single person.
Ourselves.
我們忙碌了一天，講述日常生活中發(fā)生了什么的時(shí)候，這故事的中心只有一個(gè)人。
那就是我們自己。
When I talk to myself about how so-and-so is inconsiderate or treated me badly, when I tell myself that it’s OK to procrastinate because I’m tired and not in the mood … I’m at the center of this movie. It’s an ongoing story about my life and everything around me, with me at the center.
我對(duì)自己說(shuō)某某不夠善解人意，或者對(duì)我不好，或者我太累了、心情不好所以可以拖延的時(shí)候，我是人生這部電影的主角。它講述的全是我的人生故事，一切都是繞著我轉(zhuǎn)。
I’m sure you can relate — you’re at the center of your movie as well. It’s natural, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this.
我肯定你有同感——你也是你的人生電影的主角。這很正常，也沒(méi)什么錯(cuò)。
But some difficulties can arise from this self-centered view of the world:
但這種以自我為中心的世界觀可能會(huì)有這樣的問(wèn)題：
? We interpret other people’s actions as it relates to us, so that they are helping or harming us … giving us what we want or getting in the way of what we want. But their actions aren’t really about us — their actions are about them, because they are at the center of their own stories. When we interpret their self-centered actions through the lens of our self-centered view, the actions often make no sense, and frustrate, hurt or infuriate us.
我們認(rèn)為其他人的舉動(dòng)和我們有關(guān)，他們要么是幫我們，要么是害我們……給我們想要的或者擋我們的路。但他們的行為其實(shí)和我們無(wú)關(guān)——他們的行為只和他們有關(guān)，因?yàn)樗麄円彩亲约汗适碌闹行摹．?dāng)我們以我們?yōu)橹行牡囊暯侨タ磩e人以他們?yōu)橹行牡男袨?，就?huì)完全不解其意，感到失落，心塞，或者很生氣。
? When someone makes a comment that we take as an attack on something about ourselves … we then feel the need to defend ourselves. “I’m a good person,” we think, “and they shouldn’t imply that I’m not.” But this interpretation is just a self-centered way of looking at it … we could also see it as saying something about the other person. And if we try to understand where they’re coming from, instead of seeing what it says about us, then we’ll be less defensive or offended.
當(dāng)我們認(rèn)為別人的評(píng)價(jià)是對(duì)我們某方面的攻擊的時(shí)候……我們就會(huì)覺(jué)得需要自我保護(hù)?！拔胰撕芎玫摹蔽覀冃睦锵搿八麄儾辉摪凳疚也皇莻€(gè)好人”但是這種解讀只是一種“從我出發(fā)”的觀點(diǎn)……我們也可以把它看作是和別人有關(guān)的。如果我們?cè)噲D理解說(shuō)話者的出發(fā)點(diǎn)，而不是認(rèn)為是對(duì)我們的評(píng)價(jià)，我們就能卸下防備，不那么生氣。
? We interpret everything else around us — from bad traffic to Internet comments to terrorist attacks — by thinking about how it affects us. “This sucks (for me),” we think. But we could also remove ourselves from this story and just see that there are things happening in the world, and be curious about them, try to understand them, and see that they are not about us.
我們解讀周遭發(fā)生的一切——從交通堵塞到網(wǎng)絡(luò)評(píng)語(yǔ)以及恐怖襲擊——全都想著對(duì)我們有什么影響?！斑@（對(duì)我）太糟了”我們想著。但我們可以把自己從故事中挪走，只將它們看作是這世界上發(fā)生的事，抱著一顆好奇心，嘗試去理解，而不是看作是以我們?yōu)橹行牡墓适隆?/p>
Again, it’s natural and normal to interpret everything this way … but you can see that it can cause problems, inhibit understanding and empathy, and make us unhappy at times.
我要重申，以（自我為中心）看待一切事物是很普遍也很正常的……但是你要知道這會(huì)引發(fā)問(wèn)題，限制了理解心和同情心，經(jīng)常令我們沮喪。
So what can we do?
所以我們?cè)撛趺崔k呢？
First, become aware of the stories we tell ourselves.
首先，意識(shí)到我們?nèi)绾蚊枋鍪录?br>
Next, see that we are putting ourselves at the center.
接下來(lái)，看清楚我們把自己當(dāng)作了中心。
Then see if we can remove ourselves from the center of the story.
然后嘗試著把自己脫離開(kāi)故事中心。
What would the story be without us in it? For me, that story becomes something like:
如果這故事里沒(méi)有我們會(huì)怎么樣？對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，這故事開(kāi)始像這樣：
? Things are happening — how interesting! What can be learned from them? What can be understood?
事情發(fā)生了——太有意思了！這事能教我什么？能領(lǐng)會(huì)到什么？
? Someone else is doing something or talking, and it’s probably about them. How can I understand them better?
他們?cè)谧鍪聝夯蛘咧v話，很可能與他們有關(guān)。我該如何更好地理解他們？
? There is difficulty and unhappiness in what other people are saying and doing. How can I feel compassion for them and offer them love?
別人講述了（遇到的）困難，發(fā)生了不開(kāi)心的事。我該如何真心同情并相助？
When I remember to do this — and I very, very often don’t — it lifts the difficulty that I’ve been facing internally and shift my focus to understanding and empathizing with other people, seeing how I can give them compassion.
當(dāng)我記住這么做的時(shí)候——我真的經(jīng)常忘記——我擺脫了內(nèi)心所面對(duì)的困境，將注意力轉(zhuǎn)向理解和同情他人，關(guān)注我怎樣施加援手。
Of course, I’m not really removed from the story. I’m still there, but just not necessarily at the center of it. Instead, I focus more on my interconnectedness with everyone else, everything else, and see that they have supported me in becoming the person I am, and that I can support them as well.
當(dāng)然，我并不是真的從故事中脫離了。我還在故事里，只是沒(méi)必要做故事的主角。我反而關(guān)注我與其他所有人和事件的相互關(guān)聯(lián)，關(guān)注他們給予我的支持，幫我成長(zhǎng)，而我也會(huì)支持他們。
——TIP——
從word中直接復(fù)制英文文章到簡(jiǎn)書(shū)文章編輯頁(yè)面容易出現(xiàn)大量的“單詞間空格消失”的情況，也就是復(fù)制過(guò)來(lái)的內(nèi)容中兩個(gè)單詞貼在了一起，如果逐個(gè)查找并添加空格工作量很大而且容易出現(xiàn)遺漏，簡(jiǎn)易解決方案：先將文檔內(nèi)容復(fù)制粘貼到記事本中消除一切格式，再?gòu)?fù)制粘貼到文章編輯頁(yè)面。不過(guò)我估計(jì)使用markdown寫(xiě)文章的小伙伴可能不會(huì)有這種問(wèn)題。
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