Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, pacticed every day.
成功就是不斷地練習(xí)基本動(dòng)作。——吉米·羅恩
我是小花，一只上班喵，一株英語(yǔ)趴，天有點(diǎn)冷，人有點(diǎn)懶，小花在努力學(xué)英語(yǔ)，跟簡(jiǎn)書(shū)語(yǔ)言·翻譯群一起。
很高興認(rèn)識(shí)你，這是我的第11篇筆記。
寫(xiě)在最前面：
你知道的~本文出現(xiàn)的參考翻譯與講解內(nèi)容均來(lái)自簡(jiǎn)書(shū)語(yǔ)言·翻譯群內(nèi)夏天主編的解析。
11月7日 練習(xí) 請(qǐng)將以下中文使用英文表達(dá)。
峭寒的北風(fēng)將屋檐瓦角的雪屑一起卷到空中，舞過(guò)一個(gè)圈子以后都極善選擇地向路人脖頸里鉆。
參考譯文：（源自張培基先生）
The raw wind sent the snow on the tiles along the eaves whirling in the air in tiny bits and adroitly making its way down the necks of the pedestrians by way of their collars.?
解析：
1、“峭寒”的風(fēng)，參考譯文是使用raw wind，這個(gè)詞組主要在于強(qiáng)調(diào)風(fēng)的陰冷，例如A raw wind was blowing, and the first flurries of snow were whitening the hilltops.
夏天主編說(shuō)：關(guān)于寒冷刺骨的詞匯我們?cè)凇栋遵R湖之冬》的翻譯練習(xí)中已經(jīng)多次學(xué)習(xí)不同詞匯。比如 chill，piercing.
2、看兩個(gè)詞語(yǔ) tile和eave，意思分別是瓦和屋檐。
3、“卷”這個(gè)動(dòng)詞，參考譯文用了whirl這個(gè)詞，其含義是to turn or spin around very quickly, or to make someone or something do this ?(使)急轉(zhuǎn)；(使)迅速旋轉(zhuǎn)。
例如：We watched the seagulls whirling and shrieking over the harbour.
夏天主編說(shuō)：參考譯文使用這個(gè)詞能夠進(jìn)一步體現(xiàn)冷風(fēng)的“峭寒”，表達(dá)原文情境。
4、“雪屑”,參考譯文用了 in tiny bits，這種遠(yuǎn)比用flake要好，因?yàn)閒lake的含義是 a small thin piece that breaks away easily from something else 小薄片，與snow搭配是指雪花。
夏天主編說(shuō)：但是文中的雪是前天下的，日常生活經(jīng)驗(yàn)告訴我們，積雪通常都不蓬松了，而是近似黏合于一處，所以風(fēng)很難起flake。
5、adroitly ，形容詞形式為adroit, 含義是clever and skilful,在這里形容“極善選擇”十分貼切，當(dāng)然也可以用其他詞，比如某些同學(xué)用的nimbly
6、一處略譯。略譯是“舞過(guò)一個(gè)圈子以后”，這里略譯原因有二，一是大家都可以理解雪被風(fēng)卷起，必有落下，二是whirl一詞已經(jīng)可以體現(xiàn)“旋舞”的含義。所以略譯會(huì)更簡(jiǎn)明。
7、一處增譯。增譯則是“by way of their collars”這處增譯更詳細(xì)地描述了雪屑從衣領(lǐng)鉆進(jìn)行人脖子，而我們都知道冬天大家都是豎起或者收緊衣領(lǐng)，雪還能鉆進(jìn)去，更體現(xiàn)了原文的“極善選擇”與譯文的“adroitly”
8、pedestrian這個(gè)詞，含義是someone who is walking, especially along a street or other place used by cars 行人，步行者
而某些同學(xué)用的passerby的含義是A passerby is a person who is walking past someone or something. 過(guò)路人
例如：A passerby described what he saw moments after the car bomb had exploded.
夏天主編說(shuō)：所以這兩個(gè)詞側(cè)重點(diǎn)不同，pedestrian更適合用來(lái)泛指“行人”這個(gè)群體。
群里大神的翻譯：
梧桐斷角老師
Chilly north wind rolled the snow on the eaves and among the tiles up into the air, whirling and delibrately blowing into passers–by's necks.（主編評(píng)：依舊非常精彩！大家可以學(xué)習(xí)一下。）
聽(tīng)音悅活老師
The snow on eaves and tiles was involved in sharp chill north wind and flied into the air,dancing round a circle.They were adept at making selections and fell into passersby's necks.（主編評(píng)：做的不錯(cuò)哈。dance一句處理的很有趣。）
麥田里的仰望者老師
Freezing wind carried the remaining snow on eaves into the air, circling and throwing it mischievously into passer-by's necks.（主編評(píng)：做的很好。throw和mischievously用的很贊。onto可以考慮換成into）
偏執(zhí)狂冷奕老師
The cold north wind danced with the snow from corner of eaves.It turned around and then ran into passengers' neck actively.（主編評(píng)：做的很好）
小花：
嘗試一：The chilly north wind rolled the snow chips up to the air from the corner of eaves, which always had a round dance and got into the passersby's collars intentionally.
嘗試二：The snow chips on the corner of eaves, rolled up to the air by the chilly north wind, danced roundly and got to touch the necks of passersby intentionally.
（主編評(píng)：做的很好，沒(méi)什么語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤）
以上，祝雙十一吃好喝好睡好~歐耶~
