l have be through a tough period of my life recently. Luckily I am strong? enough to not break drown. I can pretend to be like nothing big happened and nobody can notice the nervousness beneath? my mask.

But? deep down I can feel? that? something is wrong. Yesterday,? I was suddenly? hit by the feeling of empty again even? if? I have been trying hard to walk out of my comfort zone and in fact I have made quite a lot of progress. But the feeling of every thing I did is meaningless overweighted all the concrete progress? I made. I even? started to question if being happy has a? meaning?

I want to build an outlet for this emotion. So I guess it is the time to restart the old habit to jogging down five things that I am grateful for on daily basis again. I want to have a peaceful mind

1. participated a conference of my field and made two new friends

2. bought delicious food out of the campus for dinner

3. I fetched the package bought? on? taobao and the pants really fits me

4. Even though one senior student still passing his passive emotions to me . I can be less emotionally? involved and play a role of an onkooker

5. I am so lucky that I have been so brave recently

Good night