Day 15:

* strip 常見義不談。

collocations有strip down to (e.g. underwear)脫到剩下...；strip off;

還可以表示拿走所有東西The thief stripped the house bare.小偷把這座房子洗劫一空

strip sb of sth 剝奪

e.g. He was disgraced and stripped of his titles.

strip away

e.g. His book aims to strip away the lies and show the world as it really is.

原文里的fig.用法很妙：

Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.

* New vocabulary:

painstaking 需專注的

* flavour除了有味道的意思之外，還可以表示特色，氣氛。

e.g. the distinctive flavour of South Florida

* I marvel that a mind on the outs with itself should have nonetheless made painstaking record of its every tremor, I recall with embarrassing clarity the flavor of those particular ashes.

on the outs with: in conflicts with

但是不管是tremor還是embarrassing clarity還是the flavour of those particular ashes都好棒...

Para 1:

Why is it a misplaced self-respect to keep a detailed record of a mind's every tremor?

What is self-respect then?

* unnerved 使緊張

unnerving a.

e.g. an unnerving experience

The neighbourhood is unnervingly quiet.

* exempt from 免除...

e.g. Some students are exempted from certain exams.

* Although even the humorless nineteen-year-old that I was must have recognized that the situation lacked real tragic stature, the day that I did not make Phi Beta Kappa nonetheless marked the end of something, and innocence may well be the word for it.

不多說(shuō)，寫得太好了。

強(qiáng)調(diào)19歲，直接來(lái)代指人。

tragic stature? as? a collocation悲劇形象, but here used in a personalising way.

* I lost the conviction that lights would always turn green for me, the pleasant certainty that those rather passive virtues which had won me approval as a child automatically guaranteed me not only Phi Beta Kappa keys but happiness, honor, and the love of a good man; lost a certain touching faith in the totem power of good manners, clean hair, and proved competence on the Stanford-Binet scale.

lights turn green for sb 為...開綠燈

win sb sth

繼續(xù)膜...

* To such doubtful amulets had my self-respect been pinned, and I faced myself that day with the nonplussed apprehension of someone who has come across a vampire and has no crucifix at hand.

amulet 護(hù)身符

pin 固定住

nonplussed 驚呆的

crucifix 耶穌受難像

注意這個(gè)將介詞詞組提前的倒裝句式！

Para 2:

The failure marked the end of my innocence.

I began to lose my self-certainty and found out that for so long I had been pinned by such doubtful amulets.

* rather

幾種用法總結(jié)一下。之前都沒怎么整合過(guò)。

相當(dāng)，在某種程度上 a rather difficult situation

（與動(dòng)詞連用以減弱語(yǔ)氣）有點(diǎn)，稍微 e.g. I rather suspect we're doing the wrong thing.

更確切地講 e.g. She worked as a secretary, or rather, a personal assistant.

相反，反而 e.g. The walls were not white, but rather a sort of dirty grey.

* platitude 陳詞濫調(diào)，老生常談

* assignation 幽會(huì)

* shuffle

拖著腳走（vi.）e.g. The line shuffled forward a little.

打亂次序 e.g. I shuffled the documents on my desk.

[IDIOMS]

lose sb in the shuffle 在混亂中沒有注意到，忽略，遺失

e.g. Middle children tend to get lost in the shuffle.

on shuffle 隨機(jī)播放

e.g. I put the ipod on shuffle and hit play.

Para 3:

This paragraph strikes and smites me.

In that well-lit back alley where we have assignations with ourselves, we strip ourselves of self-delusion and pry into the deepest filthy secrets within our minds.

* interminable 冗長(zhǎng)的，沒完沒了的

* splice 鏈接

* muff 錯(cuò)過(guò)（機(jī)會(huì)）；做錯(cuò)

e.g. It was really a simple shot, and I muffed it./a muffing opportunity

He muffed his lines.

He muffed his opening speech.

* coverlet 床罩

* sloth 懶惰

* ..., counting up the sins of commission and omission.

[PROVERB] There is a sin of commission as well as omission. 既有不該做而做的事，也有該做而不做的事。這兩者都是過(guò)錯(cuò)。

經(jīng)濟(jì)學(xué)領(lǐng)域里有regret of commission and omission 決策后悔

Para 4:

I'm getting rather baffled.

Why do you live WITHOUT self-respect if you count up your failings in retrospect?

I speculate it to be just the opposite...

* unblighted 字典里沒有對(duì)應(yīng)的單詞

yet there is blight 損害

e.g. His career has been blighted by injuries.

有害的事物，不利的環(huán)境

cast a blight on

e.g. His death casted a blight on the whole year.

urban blight 城市里臟亂差的地區(qū)

* ambivalent （喜憂參半的，好壞參半的）矛盾情緒的

~ about

~ towards

Para 5:

Okay, it seems that I'm getting to understand...

Self-respect ensures a sound sleep which implies a private reconciliation within one's own mind.

* adultery 通奸

an adulterous relationship

* wronged party 受害方

* lose ground to sb

Para 6:

Self-respect is about the courage of mistakes and the acceptance of responsibilities.

* instil 逐漸灌輸，逐步培養(yǎng)（思想，行為，感受等）

instil confidence/fear/discipline into sb

* weigh

weigh sth (up) 認(rèn)真考慮，權(quán)衡

weigh (up) sth against sth

e.g. I weighed the benefits of the plan against its risks.

weigh with sb/against sb, sth 對(duì)...有影響

e.g. His record weighs heavily against him.

[IDIOMS]

weigh your words 斟酌，推敲

weigh sb down = burden 使憂心忡忡，使煩惱，使焦慮

e.g. The responsibilities of the job are weighing her down.

He is weighed down with guilt.

類似地，weigh on 加重...的思想負(fù)擔(dān)，使焦慮不安，使擔(dān)憂

e.g. Something's weighing on her mind.

Para 7:

Self-respect is instilled in people.

* liaison

聯(lián)絡(luò)，聯(lián)系

e.g. We work in close liaison with the police.

聯(lián)絡(luò)人

the White House liaison to organized labor 白宮與工會(huì)的聯(lián)絡(luò)人

liaison with sb 通奸

Para 8:

Self-respect is a full recognisation of prices. Once you play, you know the odds.

* That kind of self-respect is a discipline, a habit of mind that can never be faked but can be developed, trained, coaxed forth.

注意這邊develop, train, coax forth的遞進(jìn)。

* swoon 癡迷，對(duì)...神魂顛倒

e.g. He is used to having women swooning over him.

n. 昏厥

* commiserative 同情的

Para 9:

Self-respect is a discipline which can hardly be faked yet be developed later in life.

* insofar 在...的范圍下

* to give formal dinners in the rain forest would be pointless did not the candlelight flickering on the liana call forth deeper, stronger disciplines, values instilled long before.

后面的did not...是省略if的倒裝句用法。

貌似是中古英語(yǔ)用法

Para 10:

Small disciplines and values instilled in people are of ritual sense to self-consciousness.

* intrinsic 之前積累過(guò)了啊。

* consort with sb 與...廝混

* in sb's thrall/in thrall to sb 受...控制；深受...影響

* untenable 難以捍衛(wèi)的，站不住腳的

Para 11:

The sense of intrinsic worth constitutes self-respect.

Para 12:

To free onself from others and give back to onself is self-respect.

USE THE RIGHT WORD:

* Ashes

In the Old Testament, putting on sackcloth（粗麻布） and cover your head with ashes indicate repentance over your sins before God, since God values your repentant heart, you will get forgiveness and absolution. Sackcloth and ashes are symbols of seeking absolution from God on account of your sins.

So here in the article, Joan mentioned remembered the flavor of those particular ashes with embarrashing clarity, meaning she remembered all those guilty moments so clearly so vividly - she could not forget her past mistakes.

* Phi Beta Kappa: The Phi Beta Kappa Society (ΦΒΚ)

The Phi Beta Kappa Society (ΦΒΚ) is the oldest honor society for the liberal arts and sciences in the United States, with 286 active chapters.

Phi Beta Kappa aims to promote and advocate excellence in the liberal arts and sciences and to induct the most outstanding students of arts and sciences at American colleges and universities.

Phi Beta Kappa (ΦΒΚ) stands for Φιλοσοφ?α Β?ου Κυβερν?τη? or in Latin letters Philosophia Biou Cybernētēs, which means "Love of learning is the guide of life" or "Philosophy is the governor of one's life."

Since inception, 17 U.S. Presidents, 38 U.S. Supreme Court Justices, and 136 Nobel Laureates have been inducted members.

* Rodion Romanovich Raskolnikov

The fictional protagonist of Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. (that's why I found the name so familiar...)

Raskolnikov is a young ex-law student living in extreme poverty in Saint Petersburg. He lives in a tiny garret which he rents, although due to a lack of funds has been avoiding payment for quite some time. He sleeps on a couch using old clothes as a pillow, and due to lack of money eats very rarely. He is handsome and intelligent, though generally disliked by fellow students. He is devoted to his sister (Avdotya Romanovna Raskolnikova) and his mother (Pulkheria Alexandrovna Raskolnikova).

* Stanford-Binet Intelligence scales

The Stanford–Binet Intelligence Scales (or more commonly the Stanford-Binet) is an individually administered intelligence test that was revised from the original Binet-Simon Scale by Lewis M. Terman, a psychologist at Stanford University.

The Stanford–Binet Intelligence Scale is now in its fifth edition (SB5) and was released in 2003. It is a cognitive ability and intelligence test that is used to diagnose developmental or intellectual deficiencies in young children.

The test measures five weighted factors and consists of both verbal and nonverbal subtests. The five factors being tested are knowledge, quantitative reasoning（定量推理）, visual-spatial processing（空間視覺處理）, working memory, and fluid reasoning（流體推理）.

It was initially created by the French psychologist Alfred Binet, who, following the introduction of a law mandating universal education by the French government, began developing a method of identifying "slow" children for their placement in special education programs (rather than removing them to asylums（精神病院） as "sick").

In 1916, at Stanford University, the psychologist Lewis Terman released a revised examination which became known as the "Stanford–Binet test".

* Phenobarbital 苯巴比妥

Phenobarbital, also known as phenobarbitone or phenobarb, is a medication recommended by the World Health Organization for the treatment of certain types of epilepsy（癲癇） in developing countries. In the developed world it is commonly used to treat seizures（突然發(fā)作） in young children, while other medications are generally used in older children and adults.

It may be used intravenously（注入靜脈內(nèi)地）, injected into a muscle, or taken by mouth. The injectable form may be used to treat status epilepticus.

Phenobarbital is occasionally used to treat trouble sleeping, anxiety, and drug withdrawal and to help with surgery. It usually begins working within five minutes when used intravenously and half an hour when administered orally. Its effects last for between four hours and two days.

* Appointment in Samarra

Appointment In Samarra, published in 1934, is the first novel by American writer John O'Hara (1905 – 1970).

It concerns the self-destruction and suicide of the fictional character Julian English, a wealthy car dealer who was once a member of the social elite of Gibbsville (O'Hara's fictionalized version of Pottsville, Pennsylvania).

The book created controversy due to O'Hara's inclusion of sexual content.

* Jordan Baker

Daisy Buchanan's long-time friend with "autumn-leaf yellow" hair, a firm athletic body, and an aloof attitude. She is Nick Carraway's girlfriend for most of the novel and an amateur golfer with a slightly shady reputation and a penchant for untruthfulness. Fitzgerald told Maxwell Perkins that Jordan was based on the golfer Edith Cummings, a friend of Ginevra King. Her name is a play on the two popular automobile brands, the Jordan Motor Car Company and the Baker Motor Vehicle, alluding to Jordan's "fast" reputation and the freedom now presented to Americans, especially women, in the 1920s.

* Chinese Gordon

Major General Charles George Gordon CB (28 January 1833 – 26 January 1885), also known as Chinese Gordon, Gordon Pasha, and Gordon of Khartoum, was a British Army officer and administrator.

He saw action in the Crimean War as an officer in the British Army. But he made his military reputation in China, where he was placed in command of the "Ever Victorious Army," a force of Chinese soldiers led by European officers.

In the early 1860s, Gordon and his men were instrumental in（在...起重要作用） putting down the Taiping Rebellion, regularly defeating much larger forces. For these accomplishments, he was given the nickname "Chinese Gordon" and honours from both the Emperor of China and the British.

He entered the service of the Khedive of Egypt in 1873 (with British government approval) and later became the Governor-General of the Sudan, where he did much to suppress revolts and the slave trade. Exhausted, he resigned and returned to Europe in 1880.

A serious revolt then broke out in the Sudan, led by a Muslim religious leader and self-proclaimed Mahdi, Muhammad Ahmad. In early 1884 Gordon had been sent to Khartoum with instructions to secure the evacuation（撤兵） of loyal soldiers and civilians and to depart with them.

However, after evacuating about 2,500 British civilians, in defiance of those instructions, he retained a smaller group of soldiers and non-military men. In the buildup to battle, the two leaders corresponded, each attempting to convert the other to his faith, but neither would accede（同意）.

Besieged by the Mahdi's forces, Gordon organized a citywide defence lasting almost a year that gained him the admiration of the British public, but not of the government, which had wished him not to become entrenched（使處于牢固地位）. Only when public pressure to act had become irresistible did the government, with reluctance, send a relief force. It arrived two days after the city had fallen and Gordon had been killed.

* Waterloo was won on the playfields of Eton.

It is said that the words were quoted from General Wellington, who eventually defeated Napoleon. Eton is a prestigious school where boys are educated into different disciplines with rigorous standards.

So the words insinuate a?contempt against Napoleon's

* Francesca and Paolo

Francesca da Rimini and Paolo Malatesta are punished together in hell for their adultery: Francesca was married to Paolo's brother, Gianciotto ("Crippled John").

Francesca's shade tells Dante that her husband is destined for punishment in Caina--the infernal realm of familial betrayal named after Cain, who killed his brother Abel (Genesis 4:8)--for murdering her and Paolo.

Francesca was the aunt of Guido Novello da Polenta, Dante's host in Ravenna during the last years of the poet's life (1318-21). She was married (c. 1275) for political reasons to Gianciotto of the powerful Malatesta family, rulers of Rimini. Dante may have actually met Paolo in Florence (where Paolo was capitano del popolo--a political role assigned to citizens of other cities--in 1282), not long before he and Francesca were killed by Gianciotto.

Francesca,according to Boccaccio, was blatantly tricked into marrying Gianciotto, who was disfigured and uncouth, when the handsome and elegant Paolo was sent in his brother's place to settle the nuptial（婚姻的） contract. Angered at finding herself wed the following day to Gianciotto, Francesca made no attempt to restrain her affections for Paolo and the two in fact soon became lovers.

Informed of this liaison, Gianciotto one day caught them together in Francesca's bedroom (unaware that Paolo got stuck in his attempt to escape down a ladder, she let Gianciotto in the room); when Gianciotto lunged at Paolo with a sword, Francesca stepped between the two men and was killed instead, much to the dismay of her husband, who then promptly finished off Paolo as well.

Francesca and Paolo, Boccaccio concludes, were buried--accompanied by many tears--in a single tomb.

The first version:

After I checked Annie's version I made some revision, but still several differences maintained as I regarded them as another way into understanding.

For example, I put the sub-topic "without self-respect" as a deviation in that although everyone should be driven back to his or her past, which is generally considered as the first step into self-respect, many cannot help being trapped within those failures and sins. I'd rather reckon this state as a deviation from "self-respect", a misplaced one as what the author defined in the first paragraph.

The second version:

Well it seems that the mindmap does not work well for me, so I'll simply list my analysis here in a way which makes me feel more comfortable:

First, as for the general topic of "self-respect", the author developed a process including eight stages.

The 8 Stages of Self-respect:

1. Innocence

2. The end of innocence

3. Be driven back to the past of oneself

4. Be trapped with failures and sins

5. Make a private reconciliation with oneself

6. Have the courage of mistakes

7. Be aware of the prices and willing to take on responsibilities

8. Go for risks

Then I'll have a much more detailed explanation of the inner logic comprising the author's points as well as the examples connected to them.