??文/自由自在慢教練? 2021.5.9
這個周末，做了一件有意義的事：把手機(jī)上的“微信“和“簡書”卸載了。
然后，我看了一部老片：《走出荒野》。導(dǎo)演是《達(dá)拉斯買家俱樂部》的?Jean-Marc Vallée。
這部片子2014年改編于一個美國暢銷書女作家 Cheryl Strayed出版于2012年的同名真實(shí)小說故事：26歲的Sheryl在失去母親后且離婚后，獨(dú)自一人完成了1800公里的Pacific Crest Trail太平洋山脊道健行，計(jì)94天的自愈之旅。此書出版后作為第一名，連續(xù)126周盤踞《紐約時報(bào)》暢銷圖書榜。
原諒我總是拿疫情說事。但是真的是因?yàn)檫@場災(zāi)難，讓我的視線總是投射在人生的痛苦和自愈上。比如戰(zhàn)爭片和心理片等等。這部《走出荒野》從頭到尾，每一個鏡頭，每一個眼神，每一聲帶著痛的呼吸，以及蹣跚的腳步，人在局中之痛無處不在，讓我也不斷唏噓。
在片子快結(jié)束的時候，Sheryl說了句話：
接著她說：
What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do?...What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was??
人生中，最苛刻的觀眾是自己。我們對自己最苛刻。
這讓我想起1980年臺灣女作家蕭麗紅的《千江有月千江月》中的一句話：”所有大信給過她的痛苦，貞觀都在這離寺下山的月夜路上，將它還天，還地，還諸神佛?！?/p>
Of course, heroin could be had there too, I thought. But the thing was I didn't want it. Maybe I never really had. I'd finally come to understand what it had been: a yearning for a way out, when actually what I wanted to find was a way in. I was there now, or close.
“也許濫交，吸毒本身也是一個個課程，就是為了在我的人生里教會我成為最好的我，現(xiàn)在的我。我最后才明白，那時，我的迷茫正是因?yàn)槲乙粭l入世的路，卻看起來象是在逃離?！?/p>
來自O(shè)prah奧普拉的評語：That is the essence of what everybody's searching for—a way in. Everybody who thinks they're looking for a way out? They're looking for a way in. Is that not brilliant, or what?
And how it would be only then that the meaning of my hike would unfold inside of me, the secret I'd always told myself finally revealed.
“究竟是怎樣的神秘，讓這次旅行最后展示了真實(shí)的我的時候，我一直告訴自己的秘密才被真正揭開?！?/p>
其實(shí)，我也曾經(jīng)過有一個粉紅色的背囊，比Sheryl背的小了幾號。我背著它走了5年的東南亞。那些年，每到夏天，我都帶著它走在越南，泰國的鄉(xiāng)野田間。但是真正的背囊卸下，15年后而已。
"The father's job is to teach his children how to be warriors, to give them the confidence to get on the horse to ride into battle when it's necessary to do so. If you don't get that from your father, you have to teach yourself."
來自O(shè)prah奧普拉的評語：This was a big aha moment for me—if you don't get that confidence, you've got to teach yourself, and if you don't teach yourself, you can never win a battle. That's why, into my forties and fifties, I was still having trouble with confrontation, because I was never taught that.
疫情沒有結(jié)束，人生還在繼續(xù)。
請繼續(xù)尋找積累“勇敢”，這是人生的硬通貨，唯一的，始終的硬通貨。
～End～
