我們都是復(fù)雜的人。愛情也是復(fù)雜的。有時候我們都需要簡單一點(diǎn)，珍惜這一刻，用心去感受。
Hugh's Views and News
Not only do I say those three important words ‘I Love You’ but I also show love in many other ways like looking after, holding hands, buying gifts, even ironing his shirts. For me, I knew it was love and that feeling doesn’t happen very often. It develops into another kind of love which is just as important as those first feelings of love when passion also plays a major part. I believe love comes in different forms, Mabel, and that each is very important to say and show. Without love, our souls would be hollow, and so would we as people.
我不僅會說“我愛你”這三個重要的字，我還會用很多其他方式來表達(dá)愛，比如照顧他、牽他的手、給他買禮物、幫他熨襯衫。對我來說，我知道這就是愛，這種感覺并不經(jīng)常發(fā)生。它發(fā)展成另一種愛情，這種愛情和初戀一樣重要，激情也在其中起了重要作用。我相信愛有不同的形式，梅布爾，每一種表達(dá)方式很都重要。如果沒有愛，我們的靈魂將是空虛的，我們作為人也將是空虛的。
Not only do I say those three important words ‘I Love You’ but I also show love in many other ways like looking after, holding hands, buying gifts, even ironing his shirts. For me, I knew it was love and that feeling doesn’t happen very often. It develops into another kind of love which is just as important as those first feelings of love when passion also plays a major part. I believe love comes in different forms, Mabel, and that each is very important to say and show. Without love, our souls would be hollow, and so would we as people.
我不僅會說“我愛你”這三個重要的字，我還會用很多其他方式來表達(dá)愛，比如照顧他、牽他的手、給他買禮物、幫他熨襯衫。對我來說，我知道這就是愛，這種感覺并不經(jīng)常發(fā)生。它發(fā)展成另一種愛情，這種愛情和初戀一樣重要，激情也在其中起了重要作用。我相信愛有不同的形式，梅布爾，每一種表達(dá)方式很都重要。如果沒有愛，我們的靈魂將是空虛的，我們作為人也將是空虛的。
Mabel Kwong
You explained love very well, Hugh. I hope your man appreciates you ironing his shirt. To me, ironing is such a chore and it takes me ages It is nice that you remember those first feelings. Hope he does some sweet things for you too
你把愛解釋得很好。我希望你的男人會感激你為他熨襯衫。對我來說，熨衣服是件苦差事，還要花很多時間。你能記住那些最初的感覺真是太好了。希望他也能為你做些甜蜜的事
You explained love very well, Hugh. I hope your man appreciates you ironing his shirt. To me, ironing is such a chore and it takes me ages It is nice that you remember those first feelings. Hope he does some sweet things for you too
你把愛解釋得很好。我希望你的男人會感激你為他熨襯衫。對我來說，熨衣服是件苦差事，還要花很多時間。你能記住那些最初的感覺真是太好了。希望他也能為你做些甜蜜的事
Hugh's Views and News
He does, Mabel, and I appreciate him doing all the gardening. We show our love in different ways.
是的，梅布爾，我也很感激他做的所有園藝工作。我們用不同的方式表達(dá)愛意。
He does, Mabel, and I appreciate him doing all the gardening. We show our love in different ways.
是的，梅布爾，我也很感激他做的所有園藝工作。我們用不同的方式表達(dá)愛意。
Mabel Kwong
Ah, I hope he makes the garden nice and tidy
啊，我希望他能把花園弄得又漂亮又整潔。
Ah, I hope he makes the garden nice and tidy
啊，我希望他能把花園弄得又漂亮又整潔。
Parul Thakur
You are absolutely right that Asians are too shy to share those three words openly. It’s weird cos sometimes I think, what’s wrong. It’s not that they are open in private too. My Papa never said to Mum, I guess And my husband has never . The fact that they believe in showing via actions is the key to this in my opinion.
你說的完全正確，亞洲人太害羞了，不敢公開說出這三個字。這很奇怪，有時候我會想，說我愛你怎么了？這并不是說他們私底下也總是這么說。我爸爸從來沒有對媽媽說過我愛你，我猜我丈夫也從來沒有這樣做過。在我看來，他們相信通過行動來表達(dá)才是關(guān)鍵所在。
You are absolutely right that Asians are too shy to share those three words openly. It’s weird cos sometimes I think, what’s wrong. It’s not that they are open in private too. My Papa never said to Mum, I guess And my husband has never . The fact that they believe in showing via actions is the key to this in my opinion.
你說的完全正確，亞洲人太害羞了，不敢公開說出這三個字。這很奇怪，有時候我會想，說我愛你怎么了？這并不是說他們私底下也總是這么說。我爸爸從來沒有對媽媽說過我愛你，我猜我丈夫也從來沒有這樣做過。在我看來，他們相信通過行動來表達(dá)才是關(guān)鍵所在。
Mabel Kwong
Actions always speak louder than words. Love is the strongest when you feel for each other and you don’t have to say anything to each other. Sounds like that’s the way between your parents, and you and your husband
行動勝于雄辯。當(dāng)你們彼此感同身受時，這時的愛才是最強(qiáng)烈，你們不必對彼此說任何話。這就是你父母，你和你丈夫之間的方式。
Actions always speak louder than words. Love is the strongest when you feel for each other and you don’t have to say anything to each other. Sounds like that’s the way between your parents, and you and your husband
行動勝于雄辯。當(dāng)你們彼此感同身受時，這時的愛才是最強(qiáng)烈，你們不必對彼此說任何話。這就是你父母，你和你丈夫之間的方式。
nvh
you are asian, maybe you are understand, the words i love you is the treasure, we keep in mind and only say that with the right person who we really respect or really love.
你是亞洲人，也許你明白，“我愛你”這句話是我們的財富，我們牢記在心，只會對我們真正尊重或者真正愛的人說這句話。
you are asian, maybe you are understand, the words i love you is the treasure, we keep in mind and only say that with the right person who we really respect or really love.
你是亞洲人，也許你明白，“我愛你”這句話是我們的財富，我們牢記在心，只會對我們真正尊重或者真正愛的人說這句話。
Mabel Kwong
So agree with you. Love and ‘I love you’ are very important words, and some of us say it only when we mean it.
我同意你的觀點(diǎn)。愛和‘我愛你’是非常重要的詞語，我們中的一些人只有在真心實(shí)意的時候才會說出來。
So agree with you. Love and ‘I love you’ are very important words, and some of us say it only when we mean it.
我同意你的觀點(diǎn)。愛和‘我愛你’是非常重要的詞語，我們中的一些人只有在真心實(shí)意的時候才會說出來。
?Mabel Kwong
Also so agree with you that love is a word that so many of us flirt with these days. In other words, love has many layers and it is often the unspoken layers of love that keeps such a great feeling going.
我也非常同意你的觀點(diǎn)，現(xiàn)在很多人都在用愛這個詞來調(diào)情。換句話說，愛情有很多層面，通常是那些不言而喻的層面才會讓這種美好的感覺持續(xù)下去。
Also so agree with you that love is a word that so many of us flirt with these days. In other words, love has many layers and it is often the unspoken layers of love that keeps such a great feeling going.
我也非常同意你的觀點(diǎn)，現(xiàn)在很多人都在用愛這個詞來調(diào)情。換句話說，愛情有很多層面，通常是那些不言而喻的層面才會讓這種美好的感覺持續(xù)下去。
Mabel Kwong
There is a certain danger about love, and I think you are right in saying that loving someone deeply comes with responsibility.
愛有一定的風(fēng)險，我認(rèn)為你這樣說是對的，深愛一個人會伴隨著責(zé)任。
There is a certain danger about love, and I think you are right in saying that loving someone deeply comes with responsibility.
愛有一定的風(fēng)險，我認(rèn)為你這樣說是對的，深愛一個人會伴隨著責(zé)任。
autumnashbough
When you talk as much as I do, nothing says “I love you” as much as listening.When you are as laconic as my Chinese-American husband, nothing says “I love you,” like simply saying, “I love you.”
當(dāng)你像我一樣話嘮時，沒有什么比傾聽更能表達(dá)“我愛你”了。當(dāng)你像我的華裔美國丈夫一樣沉默寡言時，沒有什么比簡單地說“我愛你”更能表達(dá)“我愛你”了
When you talk as much as I do, nothing says “I love you” as much as listening.When you are as laconic as my Chinese-American husband, nothing says “I love you,” like simply saying, “I love you.”
當(dāng)你像我一樣話嘮時，沒有什么比傾聽更能表達(dá)“我愛你”了。當(dāng)你像我的華裔美國丈夫一樣沉默寡言時，沒有什么比簡單地說“我愛你”更能表達(dá)“我愛你”了
Peace.Love.Veggies
I appreciate the Asian cultural way of showing love rather than telling it. Actions do speak louder than words. I think it is nice. It is more the American/Western society that has romanticised love and made it very Hollywood. This can lead to unrealistic expectations in day to day life when we realise life is not a movie and people are very real and human.
我很欣賞亞洲文化中表達(dá)愛的方式，而不是把愛說出來。行動勝于雄辯。我覺得這樣很好。美國/西方社會將愛情浪漫化，使之變得非常好萊塢化。當(dāng)我們意識到生活不是一部電影，人是非常真實(shí)和人性化時，這會導(dǎo)致我們對日常生活產(chǎn)生不切實(shí)際的期望。
I appreciate the Asian cultural way of showing love rather than telling it. Actions do speak louder than words. I think it is nice. It is more the American/Western society that has romanticised love and made it very Hollywood. This can lead to unrealistic expectations in day to day life when we realise life is not a movie and people are very real and human.
我很欣賞亞洲文化中表達(dá)愛的方式，而不是把愛說出來。行動勝于雄辯。我覺得這樣很好。美國/西方社會將愛情浪漫化，使之變得非常好萊塢化。當(dāng)我們意識到生活不是一部電影，人是非常真實(shí)和人性化時，這會導(dǎo)致我們對日常生活產(chǎn)生不切實(shí)際的期望。
Mabel Kwong
Unrealistic expectations will only lead to disappointment. It is when we respect each other and try our best to make each other tick that a relationship will work.
不切實(shí)際的期望只會導(dǎo)致失望。只有當(dāng)我們彼此尊重，并盡最大努力讓對方活躍起來，這段感情才會維持下去。
Unrealistic expectations will only lead to disappointment. It is when we respect each other and try our best to make each other tick that a relationship will work.
不切實(shí)際的期望只會導(dǎo)致失望。只有當(dāng)我們彼此尊重，并盡最大努力讓對方活躍起來，這段感情才會維持下去。
Mabel Kwong
It doesn’t matter how many relationships any of us have been in. It’s about how we feel towards each other that matters, and at the end of the day, love comes in many different forms.
不管我們有過多少次戀愛。重要的是我們對彼此的感覺，在一天結(jié)束的時候，愛會以不同的形式出現(xiàn)。
It doesn’t matter how many relationships any of us have been in. It’s about how we feel towards each other that matters, and at the end of the day, love comes in many different forms.
不管我們有過多少次戀愛。重要的是我們對彼此的感覺，在一天結(jié)束的時候，愛會以不同的形式出現(xiàn)。
Love is completely unconditional: Love has no conditions. When we truly love someone, we cannot stop loving them, regardless of what they do or say. If our love is dependent upon the other person acting and speaking the way we want, then this love is completely conditional. We often confuse this to be love, but this is just positive thoughts about someone. This is just loving what a person says or does, not loving them.
愛是完全無條件的。當(dāng)我們真正愛一個人的時候，我們不能停止愛他們，不管他們做什么或說什么。如果我們的愛是依賴于對方的行為和說話的方式，這種愛是完全有條件的。我們經(jīng)常把這個混淆為愛，但這只是對某人的積極想法。這只是愛一個人的言行，而不是愛他們本身。
愛是完全無條件的。當(dāng)我們真正愛一個人的時候，我們不能停止愛他們，不管他們做什么或說什么。如果我們的愛是依賴于對方的行為和說話的方式，這種愛是完全有條件的。我們經(jīng)常把這個混淆為愛，但這只是對某人的積極想法。這只是愛一個人的言行，而不是愛他們本身。
Love is selfless: True love does not want anything in return, because there is nothing it needs. We just love for the sake of love. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back, and all those things. If that is what we are looking for, then we are just using the other person. What is true love? It is profound affection for things or beings that is completely selfless.
愛是無私的，真愛不需要任何回報，它不需要任何東西。我們只是為了愛而愛。當(dāng)我們愛一個人的時候，我們不會期待他們來滿足我們的需求，來回報我們的愛。如果這就是我們想要的，我們就是在利用對方。什么是真愛？它是對事物或生命的深刻感情，是完全無私的。
愛是無私的，真愛不需要任何回報，它不需要任何東西。我們只是為了愛而愛。當(dāng)我們愛一個人的時候，我們不會期待他們來滿足我們的需求，來回報我們的愛。如果這就是我們想要的，我們就是在利用對方。什么是真愛？它是對事物或生命的深刻感情，是完全無私的。
Mabel Kwong
Such a philosophical commentj. Very deep and meaningful thoughts on love there. Agree with you love comes from within. If we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be able to share love and love someone else.
真是個哲學(xué)的評論。這是非常深刻和有意義的觀點(diǎn)。我同意你的觀點(diǎn)，愛來自內(nèi)心。如果我們不能愛自己，我們就不能分享愛和愛別人。
Such a philosophical commentj. Very deep and meaningful thoughts on love there. Agree with you love comes from within. If we can’t love ourselves, we won’t be able to share love and love someone else.
真是個哲學(xué)的評論。這是非常深刻和有意義的觀點(diǎn)。我同意你的觀點(diǎn)，愛來自內(nèi)心。如果我們不能愛自己，我們就不能分享愛和愛別人。
Alok Singhal
I’ve hardly said those words to my wife (let alone before marriage) since our cultural upbringing didn’t stress on the usage. It is more of being forthcoming and flirting that we associate it with.
On the other hand, saying it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to make out. Asians are very emotional…it would be a serious matter to say these words for me.Those 3 words is more of a western concept, but young Asians are indeed accepting it now.
我很少對我的妻子說這些話(更不用說婚前)，我們的文化教育并不強(qiáng)調(diào)這個做法。我們更多地把它與坦率和調(diào)情聯(lián)系在一起。 另一方面，說出來并不一定意味著你想親熱。亞洲人非常情緒化，我認(rèn)為對我來說這些話是很嚴(yán)肅的事情。這三個詞更多的是西方概念，但亞洲的年輕人現(xiàn)在確實(shí)接受了這個概念。
I’ve hardly said those words to my wife (let alone before marriage) since our cultural upbringing didn’t stress on the usage. It is more of being forthcoming and flirting that we associate it with.
On the other hand, saying it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to make out. Asians are very emotional…it would be a serious matter to say these words for me.Those 3 words is more of a western concept, but young Asians are indeed accepting it now.
我很少對我的妻子說這些話(更不用說婚前)，我們的文化教育并不強(qiáng)調(diào)這個做法。我們更多地把它與坦率和調(diào)情聯(lián)系在一起。 另一方面，說出來并不一定意味著你想親熱。亞洲人非常情緒化，我認(rèn)為對我來說這些話是很嚴(yán)肅的事情。這三個詞更多的是西方概念，但亞洲的年輕人現(xiàn)在確實(shí)接受了這個概念。
Mabel Kwong
I think we are all emotional, just that some of us would rather express it in ways other than making out…ways that are goofy and so we make each other laugh and feel loved.
我認(rèn)為我們都是情緒化的，只是我們中的一些人寧愿用別的方式來表達(dá)，而不是用一些愚蠢的方式，這樣我們就能讓彼此感受到愛。
I think we are all emotional, just that some of us would rather express it in ways other than making out…ways that are goofy and so we make each other laugh and feel loved.
我認(rèn)為我們都是情緒化的，只是我們中的一些人寧愿用別的方式來表達(dá)，而不是用一些愚蠢的方式，這樣我們就能讓彼此感受到愛。
Mabel Kwong
Thanks, Peta. Interesting to hear of your encounter with the young chap there in Sri Lanka. He sounds like the kind who will work hard to make his girlfriend feel like the most special and most valued person in the world on many levels. I wish them the best.
謝謝你，佩塔。很高興聽到你在斯里蘭卡遇到那個年輕人的故事。他聽起來像是那種會努力工作，讓他的女朋友在很多層面上感覺自己是世界上最特別、最有價值的人。我祝愿他們一切順利。
Thanks, Peta. Interesting to hear of your encounter with the young chap there in Sri Lanka. He sounds like the kind who will work hard to make his girlfriend feel like the most special and most valued person in the world on many levels. I wish them the best.
謝謝你，佩塔。很高興聽到你在斯里蘭卡遇到那個年輕人的故事。他聽起來像是那種會努力工作，讓他的女朋友在很多層面上感覺自己是世界上最特別、最有價值的人。我祝愿他們一切順利。
Mary P
If receiving love from someone else had the power to make us feel good, then anyone’s love would give us the same good feeling. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back.
如果接受別人的愛能讓我們感覺良好，那么任何人的愛都會給我們同樣的感覺。當(dāng)我們愛一個人的時候，我們不會期待他們來滿足我們的需求，回報我們的愛。
If receiving love from someone else had the power to make us feel good, then anyone’s love would give us the same good feeling. When we love someone, we do not look for them to fill our needs, love us back.
如果接受別人的愛能讓我們感覺良好，那么任何人的愛都會給我們同樣的感覺。當(dāng)我們愛一個人的時候，我們不會期待他們來滿足我們的需求，回報我們的愛。
lexklein
I think expressing love differs not only by culture but by individual personality, no matter the cultural or family background. I do agree that some cultures are more open and expressive, but going by stereotypes alone, I should be half warm, gregarious, and openly expressive and half sober and austere on the feelings front. And yet, my parents, siblings, and I all have different approaches to our love lives and our ability to express love publicly and otherwise. You are right that it is a complex subject!
On another topic, I really enjoyed all those night scenes!
我認(rèn)為表達(dá)愛的方式不僅因文化不同，也因個人性格而異，無論文化背景或家庭背景如何。我同意一些文化更加開放和張揚(yáng)，按照老套的說法，我應(yīng)該在感情方面半熱情、半合群、半開放、半清醒、半嚴(yán)肅。然而，我的父母、兄弟姐妹和我對我們的愛情生活都有不同的態(tài)度，我們公開表達(dá)愛意的方式也不盡相同。你說得對，這是一個復(fù)雜的問題！
I think expressing love differs not only by culture but by individual personality, no matter the cultural or family background. I do agree that some cultures are more open and expressive, but going by stereotypes alone, I should be half warm, gregarious, and openly expressive and half sober and austere on the feelings front. And yet, my parents, siblings, and I all have different approaches to our love lives and our ability to express love publicly and otherwise. You are right that it is a complex subject!
On another topic, I really enjoyed all those night scenes!
我認(rèn)為表達(dá)愛的方式不僅因文化不同，也因個人性格而異，無論文化背景或家庭背景如何。我同意一些文化更加開放和張揚(yáng)，按照老套的說法，我應(yīng)該在感情方面半熱情、半合群、半開放、半清醒、半嚴(yán)肅。然而，我的父母、兄弟姐妹和我對我們的愛情生活都有不同的態(tài)度，我們公開表達(dá)愛意的方式也不盡相同。你說得對，這是一個復(fù)雜的問題！
Mabel Kwong
So true. We all have different approaches and feelings towards love, some of us more louder and some quieter than others. What works for someone doesn’t work for another.
說的太對了。我們對愛有不同的態(tài)度和感覺，有些人更激進(jìn)，有些人更保守。對某人起作用的東西對另一個人不起作用。
So true. We all have different approaches and feelings towards love, some of us more louder and some quieter than others. What works for someone doesn’t work for another.
說的太對了。我們對愛有不同的態(tài)度和感覺，有些人更激進(jìn)，有些人更保守。對某人起作用的東西對另一個人不起作用。
Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
Absolutely true, Mabel. Asian culture, especially that of the Indian subcontinent, China and Malaysia, does restrain us from saying “I Love you” loudly and repeatedly all the time. It’s a feeling we have deep inside our hearts, as you’ve said, it’s an emotional attachment rather than physical. I’ve no problem with people saying “I love you” loudly…that’s also a form of love, undoubtedly. But, simply, our culture believes in whispering it personally or even without uttering it, we can touch the chords of each other’s heart. Love is a complex feeling, an incurable insanity, and we like to tender it personally than saying it loud.
太對了，梅布爾。亞洲文化，尤其是印度、中國和馬來西亞的文化，確實(shí)讓我們無法一直大聲重復(fù)地說“我愛你”。這是一種我們內(nèi)心深處的感覺，就像你說的，這是一種情感上的依戀，而不是身體上的。我不反對人們大聲說“我愛你”，毫無疑問，這也是愛的一種形式。但簡單地說，我們的文化相信私下交談，甚至不說出來，可以更觸動彼此的心弦。愛情是一種復(fù)雜的情感，我們喜歡親自去表達(dá)它，而不是大聲說出來。
Absolutely true, Mabel. Asian culture, especially that of the Indian subcontinent, China and Malaysia, does restrain us from saying “I Love you” loudly and repeatedly all the time. It’s a feeling we have deep inside our hearts, as you’ve said, it’s an emotional attachment rather than physical. I’ve no problem with people saying “I love you” loudly…that’s also a form of love, undoubtedly. But, simply, our culture believes in whispering it personally or even without uttering it, we can touch the chords of each other’s heart. Love is a complex feeling, an incurable insanity, and we like to tender it personally than saying it loud.
太對了，梅布爾。亞洲文化，尤其是印度、中國和馬來西亞的文化，確實(shí)讓我們無法一直大聲重復(fù)地說“我愛你”。這是一種我們內(nèi)心深處的感覺，就像你說的，這是一種情感上的依戀，而不是身體上的。我不反對人們大聲說“我愛你”，毫無疑問，這也是愛的一種形式。但簡單地說，我們的文化相信私下交談，甚至不說出來，可以更觸動彼此的心弦。愛情是一種復(fù)雜的情感，我們喜歡親自去表達(dá)它，而不是大聲說出來。
Mabel Kwong
It is fascinating how Indian culture is so similar to Chinese culture. Whispering it is a nice way to put it. Agree with you that love is also ‘a(chǎn)n incurable insanity’ – love how you say it The good kind of love will make us always be there for someone, but too much of it can turn destructive.
印度文化與中國文化很相似，真是令人著迷。私下交談是個不錯的表達(dá)方式。我同意你的看法，用你的話說這就是愛，愛讓我們永遠(yuǎn)在某人身邊，但太多的愛會產(chǎn)生毀滅性的后果。
It is fascinating how Indian culture is so similar to Chinese culture. Whispering it is a nice way to put it. Agree with you that love is also ‘a(chǎn)n incurable insanity’ – love how you say it The good kind of love will make us always be there for someone, but too much of it can turn destructive.
印度文化與中國文化很相似，真是令人著迷。私下交談是個不錯的表達(dá)方式。我同意你的看法，用你的話說這就是愛，愛讓我們永遠(yuǎn)在某人身邊，但太多的愛會產(chǎn)生毀滅性的后果。
Maniparna Sengupta Majumder
Right..too much love can make one extremely possessive and just like any other feeling and emotion, love also demands space. True love, perhaps, is an impeccable concoction of trust, friendship and mutual respect…
對。太多的愛會讓人產(chǎn)生極強(qiáng)的占有欲，就像其他感情一樣，愛也需要空間。也許，真正的愛情是信任、友誼和相互尊重的完美組合。
Right..too much love can make one extremely possessive and just like any other feeling and emotion, love also demands space. True love, perhaps, is an impeccable concoction of trust, friendship and mutual respect…
對。太多的愛會讓人產(chǎn)生極強(qiáng)的占有欲，就像其他感情一樣，愛也需要空間。也許，真正的愛情是信任、友誼和相互尊重的完美組合。
TheresaBarker
Mabel: I really liked this: “what is love? Love is complex.” Thank you again for a wonderfully detailed look at another aspect of culture I had never read about before. It made me reflect on my husband’s and my relationship, and that he really demonstrates his love for me by doing things for me, such as managing finances, going grocery shopping when needed, kid-care, little house repair tasks, etc. He also says, “I love you” – we are both American from Northern European heritage .But the outward rah-rah support isn’t his style. And your article made me think about that a little more. It’s not that I am sad he isn’t more outwardly enthusiastic
梅布爾: 我真的很喜歡這句話: “什么是愛？愛是復(fù)雜的”。再次感謝你精彩而詳細(xì)地介紹了我以前從未感受過的文化的另一面。這讓我反思了我丈夫和我的關(guān)系，他真正地通過為我做一些事情來表達(dá)他對我的愛，比如理財，必要時陪我去雜貨店購物，幫忙照顧孩子，修理小房子等等。他也會說：“我愛你”。我們都是來自北歐的美國人。但表面上的支持并不是他的風(fēng)格。你的文章讓我對此有了更多的思考。當(dāng)他沒有表現(xiàn)出更多的熱情時，我不會難過了。
Mabel: I really liked this: “what is love? Love is complex.” Thank you again for a wonderfully detailed look at another aspect of culture I had never read about before. It made me reflect on my husband’s and my relationship, and that he really demonstrates his love for me by doing things for me, such as managing finances, going grocery shopping when needed, kid-care, little house repair tasks, etc. He also says, “I love you” – we are both American from Northern European heritage .But the outward rah-rah support isn’t his style. And your article made me think about that a little more. It’s not that I am sad he isn’t more outwardly enthusiastic
梅布爾: 我真的很喜歡這句話: “什么是愛？愛是復(fù)雜的”。再次感謝你精彩而詳細(xì)地介紹了我以前從未感受過的文化的另一面。這讓我反思了我丈夫和我的關(guān)系，他真正地通過為我做一些事情來表達(dá)他對我的愛，比如理財，必要時陪我去雜貨店購物，幫忙照顧孩子，修理小房子等等。他也會說：“我愛你”。我們都是來自北歐的美國人。但表面上的支持并不是他的風(fēng)格。你的文章讓我對此有了更多的思考。當(dāng)他沒有表現(xiàn)出更多的熱情時，我不會難過了。
Mabel Kwong
Thank you so much for sharing you and you husband’s relationship, Theresa. It does sound like a very solid one, and he sounds like the kind who can do anything if he just gets up and try and be there – which is what he brings to your relationship
非常感謝你分享你和你丈夫的關(guān)系。你的丈夫確實(shí)是一個非?？煽康娜?，他聽起來像是那種只要站起來，就試著努力做任何事情的人——這就是他給你們的關(guān)系帶來的東西
Thank you so much for sharing you and you husband’s relationship, Theresa. It does sound like a very solid one, and he sounds like the kind who can do anything if he just gets up and try and be there – which is what he brings to your relationship
非常感謝你分享你和你丈夫的關(guān)系。你的丈夫確實(shí)是一個非?？煽康娜?，他聽起來像是那種只要站起來，就試著努力做任何事情的人——這就是他給你們的關(guān)系帶來的東西
Tina Schell
As always a thoughtful and insightful post Mabel. I would rather the Asian approach of showing vs verbalizing love than the American approach which tends to use the phrase far too often and easily, causing it to lose its meaning.
你的帖子總是深思熟慮和富有洞察力。我寧愿用亞洲人的方式來表達(dá)愛，而不是美國人的方式，美國人的方式往往過于頻繁和輕易地使用這個短語，導(dǎo)致它失去了意義。
As always a thoughtful and insightful post Mabel. I would rather the Asian approach of showing vs verbalizing love than the American approach which tends to use the phrase far too often and easily, causing it to lose its meaning.
你的帖子總是深思熟慮和富有洞察力。我寧愿用亞洲人的方式來表達(dá)愛，而不是美國人的方式，美國人的方式往往過于頻繁和輕易地使用這個短語，導(dǎo)致它失去了意義。
Mabel Kwong
Thanks, Tina. Agree that saying and showing love out loud too often can become mundane after a while.
謝謝你。過多地大聲說出和展示愛會在一段時間后變得麻木。
Thanks, Tina. Agree that saying and showing love out loud too often can become mundane after a while.
謝謝你。過多地大聲說出和展示愛會在一段時間后變得麻木。
dgkaye
This hesitancy to be able to say those 3 little (big) words goes beyond culture, but you’ve explained your views on culture beautifully here, But in my heart of hearts I will say that although love is not always learned from our upbringings, things can change that in a moment. My upbringing never consisted of those words either. The thought of saying those words would have felt embarrassing because unfamiliar. But gratefully, I found my best friend at age 20, who opened up a whole new world of learning what love was and learning how to say those words.
為了能說出那三個大字而猶豫不決，這超出了文化的范疇，你已經(jīng)在這里很好地解釋了你對這種文化的觀點(diǎn)，但在我的內(nèi)心深處，我要說的是，愛并不總是從我們的成長中學(xué)到的，有些事情可以在瞬間發(fā)生改變。在我的成長過程中，這些話也從未出現(xiàn)過。一想到要說這些話就會讓我感到尷尬，因?yàn)槲也涣?xí)慣。我心存感激的是，我在20歲的時候找到了我最好的朋友，她為我開啟了一個全新的世界，讓我學(xué)會了什么是愛，學(xué)會了如何說出這些話。
This hesitancy to be able to say those 3 little (big) words goes beyond culture, but you’ve explained your views on culture beautifully here, But in my heart of hearts I will say that although love is not always learned from our upbringings, things can change that in a moment. My upbringing never consisted of those words either. The thought of saying those words would have felt embarrassing because unfamiliar. But gratefully, I found my best friend at age 20, who opened up a whole new world of learning what love was and learning how to say those words.
為了能說出那三個大字而猶豫不決，這超出了文化的范疇，你已經(jīng)在這里很好地解釋了你對這種文化的觀點(diǎn)，但在我的內(nèi)心深處，我要說的是，愛并不總是從我們的成長中學(xué)到的，有些事情可以在瞬間發(fā)生改變。在我的成長過程中，這些話也從未出現(xiàn)過。一想到要說這些話就會讓我感到尷尬，因?yàn)槲也涣?xí)慣。我心存感激的是，我在20歲的時候找到了我最好的朋友，她為我開啟了一個全新的世界，讓我學(xué)會了什么是愛，學(xué)會了如何說出這些話。
Mabel Kwong
Love is love and if we feel it, we will feel the need to express it. You are right in that things can change in the moment, so you are very honest when you say you say ‘I love you’ when you feel like it
愛就是愛，如果我們感覺到了，我們就會覺得有必要表達(dá)出來。你是對的，事情在一瞬間就會發(fā)生改變，但當(dāng)你說‘我愛你’時，你是非常真誠的
Love is love and if we feel it, we will feel the need to express it. You are right in that things can change in the moment, so you are very honest when you say you say ‘I love you’ when you feel like it
愛就是愛，如果我們感覺到了，我們就會覺得有必要表達(dá)出來。你是對的，事情在一瞬間就會發(fā)生改變，但當(dāng)你說‘我愛你’時，你是非常真誠的
AmyRose
It is universal regardless of culture that the human desire for closeness is there. It’s just a part of our hardwiring. Some people have an easier time of touching and being close then others, but deep inside the desire is there. (discounting mental disease) As for love, those three words (I love you) to me are sacred and I don’t say them too often but when I do, I really mean them. I am seeing in some people, how glib and how easily those words are said leaving me question …. But you don’t even know so how can you possibly say “I love you” to me? Hmmmm …. Being human is very complex and love all by itself is a very complex part of being human.
無論文化如何，人類對親密的渴望都是普遍存在的，這是我們生活的一部分。有些人比其他人更容易接觸和親近，內(nèi)心深處的欲望更強(qiáng)。至于愛情，那三個字(我愛你)對我來說是神圣的，我不常說，但當(dāng)我說時，我是非常認(rèn)真的。我看到有些人說這些話時多么油嘴滑舌，這很容易讓我產(chǎn)生疑問。疑問是你不知道什么是愛，你怎么可能對我說“我愛你”？作為人類是非常復(fù)雜的，而愛本身就是人類非常復(fù)雜的一部分。
It is universal regardless of culture that the human desire for closeness is there. It’s just a part of our hardwiring. Some people have an easier time of touching and being close then others, but deep inside the desire is there. (discounting mental disease) As for love, those three words (I love you) to me are sacred and I don’t say them too often but when I do, I really mean them. I am seeing in some people, how glib and how easily those words are said leaving me question …. But you don’t even know so how can you possibly say “I love you” to me? Hmmmm …. Being human is very complex and love all by itself is a very complex part of being human.
無論文化如何，人類對親密的渴望都是普遍存在的，這是我們生活的一部分。有些人比其他人更容易接觸和親近，內(nèi)心深處的欲望更強(qiáng)。至于愛情，那三個字(我愛你)對我來說是神圣的，我不常說，但當(dāng)我說時，我是非常認(rèn)真的。我看到有些人說這些話時多么油嘴滑舌，這很容易讓我產(chǎn)生疑問。疑問是你不知道什么是愛，你怎么可能對我說“我愛你”？作為人類是非常復(fù)雜的，而愛本身就是人類非常復(fù)雜的一部分。
Mabel Kwong
Agree. We are all complex people. Love is complex. Sometimes we all need to be a bit simple and appreciate the moment and just let ourselves feel and be.
我同意。我們都是復(fù)雜的人。愛情也是復(fù)雜的。有時候我們都需要簡單一點(diǎn)，珍惜這一刻，用心去感受。
Agree. We are all complex people. Love is complex. Sometimes we all need to be a bit simple and appreciate the moment and just let ourselves feel and be.
我同意。我們都是復(fù)雜的人。愛情也是復(fù)雜的。有時候我們都需要簡單一點(diǎn)，珍惜這一刻，用心去感受。
Behind the Story
You picked a huge subject, Mabel, and did a good job with it.
When I was dating my husband, the first words he taught me in Mandarin were I love you. It wasn’t exactly the same as telling me he loved me. It seemed more like a language lesson that also hinted at his feelings. I don’t think we told each other “I love you” until we were thinking about marriage. Then we said it more frequently. There’s so much more to love than those three little words. We show our love in our physical closeness, by our actions in caring for each other, and by sharing our thoughts and our lives with each other.
梅布爾，你選了一個重要的話題，寫得很好。當(dāng)我和我丈夫約會時，他用普通話教我的第一句話就是我愛你。這和告訴我他愛我完全不一樣。這似乎更像是一堂語言課，但暗示了他對我的感受。我想在我們考慮結(jié)婚之前，我們會告訴對方“我愛你”。后來我們說得更頻繁了。但除了這三個字，還有很多東西值得去愛。我們通過親密的身體接觸，相互關(guān)心的行動，以及與他人分享我們的思想和生活來表達(dá)我們的愛。
You picked a huge subject, Mabel, and did a good job with it.
When I was dating my husband, the first words he taught me in Mandarin were I love you. It wasn’t exactly the same as telling me he loved me. It seemed more like a language lesson that also hinted at his feelings. I don’t think we told each other “I love you” until we were thinking about marriage. Then we said it more frequently. There’s so much more to love than those three little words. We show our love in our physical closeness, by our actions in caring for each other, and by sharing our thoughts and our lives with each other.
梅布爾，你選了一個重要的話題，寫得很好。當(dāng)我和我丈夫約會時，他用普通話教我的第一句話就是我愛你。這和告訴我他愛我完全不一樣。這似乎更像是一堂語言課，但暗示了他對我的感受。我想在我們考慮結(jié)婚之前，我們會告訴對方“我愛你”。后來我們說得更頻繁了。但除了這三個字，還有很多東西值得去愛。我們通過親密的身體接觸，相互關(guān)心的行動，以及與他人分享我們的思想和生活來表達(dá)我們的愛。
