字詞精選

1.He said a little sheepishly.

Sheepishly: looking or feeling embarrassed because you have done sth silly or wrong窘迫地；難為情地；不好意思地

e.g. I grinned sheepishly when I entered the classroom seeing a couple hugging.

2.Everything is a blur.

blur：something that you cannot see clearly 模糊的東西

e.g.If I don’t wear my glasses, everything is a blur.

3.Win/Lose people are prone to use position, power, credentials, possessions or personality to get their way.

Be prone to: likely to do something or suffer from something, especially something bad or harmful,傾向于做某事

e.g. A great many children are prone to junk food.

4.Those words raised a red flag.

red flag: If you refer to something as a red flag, you mean that it acts as a danger signal. 危險信號；預(yù)警

e.g. A high fever is your body's own red flag of danger.

5.Instead of a sore spot, it became a source of joy and strength to both father and son.

a sore point/spot/subject :something that makes you upset, angry, or embarrassed when someone mentions it類似于我們所說的“痛處”

e.g. Don’t mention my puppy love; it is kind of a sore spot.

6.Or playing little tin god in your life```

Tin god: someone who behaves as if they are more important or powerful than they really are 自以為了不起的人

e.g. I don’t like the persons who are tin god and look down upon others.

7.If you'd apply yourself like your older sister does, you'd do better and then you'd like school.

Apply yourself:? to work very hard on something for a long time

e.g. In order to get a good mark in your final exam, you need to apply yourself.

8.Empathic listening gets inside another person's frame of reference.

frame of reference: a particular set of beliefs, ideas or experiences that affects how a person understands or judges sth(影響人理解和判斷事物的)信仰和準則

e.g. Everyone has his own frame of reference.

9.I really tried to put myself in his shoes.

in sb’s shoes: in someone else’s situation, especially a bad one

e.g. Put yourself in his shoes, you will understand him deeply.

Summary

From habit 4 to habit 5

Habit 4 ----think win/win is to seek mutual benefit and success in all human interactions, which involves five interdependent dimensions of life. It starts with character that is foundation of win/win, and transfers to relationships which is the ideal springboard for tremendous synergy. Then, from relationships flow the agreements that give definition and direction to win/win. At last, it is fostered in an environment where structure and systems are based on win/win. And it includes process. For the sake of fulfilling win/win, win/win training management and win/win performance are necessary. In addition, habit 5 is the key to strengthen and achieve habit 4. Habit 5----seek first to understand, then to be understood means listening others with intent to understand, not reply----empathic listening, and then being understood. Don’t push; be patient; be respectful.

中文感悟

Habit 4 Think win/win，”雙贏”，這是一個最佳狀態(tài)。但我們的生活中出現(xiàn)較多是win/lose, lose/win, lose/lose, win,但這些狀態(tài)最終的歸宿都是lose/lose。所以作為有追求有理想的人來說，win/win是要必備的，這樣才會走得更好更遠。

比如說我，我最初的狀態(tài)是lose/win, 不愿意去和別人爭，別人搶，我只想安安靜靜的做個”美女子”。但到頭來發(fā)現(xiàn)，自己好像越來越渺小，迷失了自己，被當成沒有能力，沒有自信，很弱的代表。后來我覺得這樣子下去是不行的，我開始要win/lose,想要贏，想要得到重視，不要在塵埃里開不出花來。雖然獲得了win/lose, 出了一口氣，但卻局限了自己的成長。所以從win/lose向win/win過渡，達到雙贏，才能贏得出彩。

Habit5 Seek first to understand, then to be understood, 最重要一點是empathic listening, 帶著理解的目的去理解他人，而不是從別人的話中找到回答的機會，要認真的聽，而不是認真的從自己角度出發(fā)給出建議。

我們總是喜歡以"我是為你好"的態(tài)度去溝通，實質(zhì)上是這只是自己的"一面之詞"，是根據(jù)自己的情況而言，根本就沒有理解到對方的真實需求與感受，沒有站在對方的角度來看待問題，去切身體會，最后是你在"苦口婆心"，但根本打不動不了別人的心。就如我有一個很要好的朋友，我總是勸他多閱讀，不要老是一有時間就玩游戲。以"為他好"的理由，不斷的跟他說，多閱讀可以自我提升，但最后發(fā)現(xiàn)根本就沒有用處，他就是左耳進，右耳出?，F(xiàn)在我明白，我是以自身的角度去站在他的處境上，我認為閱讀不可或缺，所以多閱讀總是有好處的。但我并沒理解他，沒有明白他不喜歡閱讀，所以再怎么努力也是徒勞一場。

要先有共鳴的理解，才能處理好一切的事情。