18

Romantic Terrorism

愛(ài)情恐怖主義

1. "Why don't you love me?" is as impossible a question (though a far less pleasant one) to ask as "Why do you love me?" In both cases, we come up against our lack of conscious control in the amorous structure, the fact that love has been brought to us as a gift for reasons we never wholly determine or deserve. To ask such questions, we are forced to veer on one side towards complete arrogance, on the other to complete humility: "What have I done to deserve love?" asks the humble lover; I can have done nothing. "What have I done to be denied love?" protests the betrayed one, arrogantly claiming possession of a gift that is never one's due. To both questions, the one who hands out love can only reply: "Because you are you" ?an answer that leaves the beloved dangerously and unpredictably strung between grandiosity and depression.“你為什么不愛(ài)我？”這個(gè)問(wèn)題（盡管讓我更不愉快）就如“你為什么要愛(ài)我？”一樣不能被視為是問(wèn)題。在這兩種情形中，我們都會(huì)喪失對(duì)愛(ài)情的清醒（富有吸引力的）判斷：即愛(ài)情是一個(gè)饋贈(zèng)，而饋贈(zèng)的因由不為我們所知，或不應(yīng)為我們所知。在某種意義上說(shuō)，我們無(wú)須知道答案，因?yàn)槲覀儾荒茏穹钏淼恼嬲x行事，所以答案毫無(wú)意義。它不是具有因果性質(zhì)的有效原因。它跟隨在事實(shí)之后，是對(duì)隱秘的變化作出的辯解，是一個(gè)表面的“發(fā)生于后必是結(jié)果”式的分析。提出這些問(wèn)題，我們一方面變得非常傲慢，另一方面又變得極度謙卑：我做了什么而被愛(ài)？謙卑的情人問(wèn)道。我什么也沒(méi)有付出。我做了什么而被愛(ài)拒絕？被背叛的情人抗議道，傲慢地聲言擁有永遠(yuǎn)不是一個(gè)人必須得到的饋贈(zèng)。對(duì)于這兩個(gè)問(wèn)題，施舍愛(ài)的人只能回答：因?yàn)槟憔褪悄恪粋€(gè)把戀愛(ài)者危險(xiǎn)而又不可預(yù)測(cè)地?cái)[弄于興奮高昂和消沉失意之間的答案。

2. Love may be born at first sight, but it does not die with corresponding rapidity. Chloe must have feared that to talk or even leave would have been hasty, that she might have been opting for a life offering no more favourable alternative. It was hence a slow separation, the masonry of affect only gradually prising itself loose from the loved one. There was guilt at the residual sense of responsibility towards a once-prized object, a form of treacly liquid left at the bottom of the glass that needed time to drain off.愛(ài)情也許可以一見(jiàn)鐘情，然而不會(huì)以同樣的速度消逝?？寺灏欢ㄊ呛ε抡?wù)摲质只蛘哌^(guò)于急速地離我而去，害怕她新的選擇不一定就更稱(chēng)心如意，因此，這是一個(gè)緩慢的分手，感情的建筑工在一步步地撬掉愛(ài)情的大廈。背棄中有負(fù)罪，負(fù)罪于對(duì)曾經(jīng)珍視的東西僅剩的一點(diǎn)責(zé)任感，就如殘留在杯底的糖水黏漬需要時(shí)間的沖刷一樣。

3.When every decision is difficult, no decision is taken. Chloe prevaricated, I joined her (for how could any decision be pleasant for me?). We continued to see one another and sleep with one another. We even made plans to visit Paris at Christmas time, yet Chloe was curiously disengaged from the process, as though she were making arrangements for someone else ?perhaps because it was easier to deal in airline tickets than the issues that lay behind their purchase or non-purchase. Her apathy embodied the hope that by doing nothing, another might take the decision for her, that by displaying her indecision and frustration while not acting on it I would ultimately perform the move that she had needed (but been too scared) to make herself.當(dāng)每一個(gè)決定都難以做出時(shí)，就不會(huì)有決定?？寺灏普喬氯?，我也含糊其辭（又有哪個(gè)決定能給我快樂(lè)？）。我們繼續(xù)相見(jiàn)，繼續(xù)做愛(ài)，并且打算圣誕節(jié)去巴黎。然而奇怪的是，克洛艾對(duì)此漠不關(guān)心，就好像是在為他人計(jì)劃一樣——也許是因?yàn)橘I(mǎi)機(jī)票比買(mǎi)了機(jī)票或不買(mǎi)機(jī)票之后的問(wèn)題更容易處理。她不做出決定，是希望通過(guò)沉默讓另一個(gè)人來(lái)為她做決定，她希望以自己暗含的猶豫不決和失意失敗使我最終邁出她需要的（但自己又太怕而不敢邁出的那一步。

4.We entered the era of romantic terrorism.我們進(jìn)入了愛(ài)情恐怖主義時(shí)期。

'Is there anything wrong?'“有什么不對(duì)勁嗎？”

'No, why, should there be?'“沒(méi)有，怎么了？該有嗎？”

'I just thought you might want to talk about things.'“我只是想，你該有什么事要說(shuō)一說(shuō)?！?/p>

'What things?'“什么事？”

'About us.'“關(guān)于我們。”

'You mean about you,' snapped Chloe.“你指你自己吧，”克洛艾厲聲說(shuō)。

'No, I mean about us.'“不是，我是指我們兩個(gè)?！?/p>

'Well, what about us?'“我們兩個(gè)什么？”

'I don't know, really. It's just a sense I have that ever since about the middle of September, we haven't really been communicating. It's like there's a wall between us and you're refusing to acknowledge it's there.'“我不知道，真的。我只有一種感覺(jué)，大概自九月底以來(lái)，我們就再?zèng)]有真正交流過(guò)了。就好比我們之間出現(xiàn)了一堵墻，而你一直拒絕承認(rèn)它的存在?！?/p>

'I don't see a wall.'“我沒(méi)看到什么墻。”

'That's what I mean. You're even refusing to admit there was ever anything other than this.'“我指的就是這一點(diǎn)，你甚至不承認(rèn)這些?！?/p>

'Than what?'“哪些？”

5. Once a partner has begun to lose interest, there is apparently little the other can do to arrest the process. Like seduction, withdrawal suffers under a blanket of reticence. The very breakdown of communication is hard to discuss, unless both parties have a desire to see it restored. This leaves the lover in a desperate situation. Honest dialogue seems to produce only irritation and smothers love in the attempt to revive it. Desperate to woo the partner back at any cost, the lover might at this point be tempted to turn to romantic terrorism, the product of irredeemable situations, a gamut of tricks (sulking, jealousy, guilt) that attempt to force the partner to return love, by blowing up (in fits of tears, rage or otherwise) in front of the loved one. The terroristic partner knows he cannot realistically hope to see his love reciprocated, but the futility of something is not always (in love or in politics) a sufficient argument against it. Certain things are said not because they will be heard, but because it is important to speak.一旦一方開(kāi)始失去興趣，另一方顯然無(wú)法挽回離去的腳步。就如吸引對(duì)方時(shí)一樣，分手也要在沉默中面臨情愛(ài)關(guān)系中心的一個(gè)難于言表的問(wèn)題：我渴望得到你/我對(duì)你沒(méi)有興趣——在這兩種情形中，表達(dá)任何一種想法都需要一段時(shí)間。交流的中斷其本身無(wú)法討論，除非雙方都有重歸于好的愿望。這樣一來(lái)就會(huì)把情人置于一個(gè)絕望的境地：合理對(duì)話(huà)的魅力和吸引力看來(lái)已消失殆盡，只有惱怒煩躁。如果心上人合乎常規(guī)地（甜甜地）行為處事，這行為常常適得其反，在恢復(fù)愛(ài)情的努力中卻扼殺了愛(ài)情。于是，不顧一切央求伴侶回到身邊的愛(ài)人走向了愛(ài)情恐怖主義。這恐怖主義是絕境的產(chǎn)物，是通過(guò)在伴侶面前爆發(fā)（痛哭流涕、大發(fā)雷霆及其他什么方式）試圖讓他/她回心轉(zhuǎn)意的所有計(jì)策（生氣、妒忌、內(nèi)疚）。采用恐怖主義手段的戀愛(ài)者知道不能真正奢望自己的愛(ài)得到回報(bào)，但是無(wú)效性并不一定是（在愛(ài)情或在政治中）制止一件事情發(fā)生的充分的理由。有些東西必說(shuō)不可，不是因?yàn)樗鼈冇新?tīng)眾，而是它們具有說(shuō)出來(lái)的重要性。

6. When political dialogue has failed to resolve a grievance, the injured party may also in desperation resort to terrorist activity, extracting by force the concession it has been unable to seduce peacefully from its opposite number. Political terrorism is born out of deadlocked situations, behaviour that combines a party's need to act with an awareness (conscious or semi-conscious) that action will not go any way towards achieving the desired end ?and will if anything only alienate the other party further. The negativity of terrorism betrays all the signs of childish rage, a rage at one's own impotence in the face of a more powerful adversary.當(dāng)不滿(mǎn)情緒無(wú)法通過(guò)政治對(duì)話(huà)來(lái)解決時(shí)，受損的一方就可能會(huì)不顧一切地采取恐怖活動(dòng)，通過(guò)暴力手段從對(duì)立方那里得到和平方式不能實(shí)現(xiàn)的讓步。政治恐怖主義產(chǎn)生于僵局，知道（清醒的或半清醒的）行動(dòng)的結(jié)果絕不會(huì)如己所愿，但還是為了黨派的需要而行動(dòng)——這些行動(dòng)將只會(huì)使對(duì)方更對(duì)立?？植乐髁x的消極性在于，它暴露了一切幼稚的惱怒，一種面對(duì)更為強(qiáng)大的對(duì)手時(shí)對(duì)自己無(wú)能的惱怒。

7. In May 1972, three members of the Japanese Red Army, who had been armed, briefed and financed by the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), landed on a scheduled flight at Lod Airport, near Tel Aviv. They disembarked, followed the other passengers into the terminal building, and once inside, pulled machine-guns and grenades out of their hand luggage. They began firing on the crowd indiscriminately, slaughtering twenty-four people and injuring a further seven before they were themselves killed by the security forces. What relation did such butchery have with the cause of Palestinian autonomy? The murders did not accelerate the peace process, they only hardened Israeli public opinion against the Palestinian cause, and in a final irony for the terrorists, it turned out the majority of their victims were not even Israelis, but belonged to a party of Puerto Rican Christians who had been on a religious pilgrimage to Jerusalem. Yet the action found its justification elsewhere, in the need to vent frustration in a cause where dialogue had ceased to produce results.1972年5月，三名日本紅軍搭乘一架定期航班到達(dá)特拉維夫的羅得機(jī)場(chǎng)。他們下了飛機(jī)，隨著其他乘客進(jìn)入候機(jī)大廳。一到大廳，他們就從行李包里拿出機(jī)槍和手榴彈，不分青紅皂白地朝人群開(kāi)火。直到殺死了二十四個(gè)人，打傷了七個(gè)人之后，才被保安人員擊斃。這種殘殺與巴基斯坦的自治運(yùn)動(dòng)有什么聯(lián)系？?jī)词植](méi)有促進(jìn)和平進(jìn)程，他們只是使反對(duì)巴基斯坦自治運(yùn)動(dòng)的以色列公眾輿論變得更為堅(jiān)定。對(duì)這些恐怖分子來(lái)說(shuō)，具有嘲諷意味的是，受害人大多不是以色列人，而是去耶路撒冷朝圣的波多黎各的天主教徒們。不過(guò)行動(dòng)本身卻在其他方面找到了正當(dāng)理由，即有必要去發(fā)泄一下自治運(yùn)動(dòng)中對(duì)話(huà)已經(jīng)不能再產(chǎn)生任何效果的失敗感。

7.Both of us could only spare a weekend in Paris, so we left on the last flight out of Heathrow on Friday, and planned to return late on the Sunday. Though we were going to France to celebrate our anniversary, it felt more like a funeral. When the plane landed in Paris, the airport terminal was sombre and empty. It had begun to snow and a fierce arctic wind was blowing. There were more passengers than taxis, so we ended up sharing a ride with a woman we had met at passport control, a lawyer travelling from London to Paris for a conference. Though the woman was attractive, I was in no mood to find her so, but nevertheless flirted with her as we made our way into the city. When Chloe attempted to join the conversation, I would interrupt her with a remark addressed exclusively (and seductively) to the woman. But success in inducing jealousy is dependent on a significant factor: the inclination of the targeted audience to give a damn. Hence terroristic jealousy is always a gamble: how far could I go in trying to make Chloe jealous? What if she were not to react? Whether she was merely hiding that jealousy so as to call my bluff (like politicians who appear on television and declare how unconcerned they are with the terrorist threat), or whether she genuinely did not care, I could not be sure. But one thing was certain, Chloe did not allow me the pleasure of a jealous reaction, and was more pleasant than she had been in a long time when we finally settled into our room in a small hotel on the Rue Jacob, perhaps cheered by the thought that I would, after all, get over her.我們只能在巴黎過(guò)一個(gè)周末，所以就在星期五乘希斯羅機(jī)場(chǎng)的最后一架班機(jī)出發(fā)了，準(zhǔn)備星期天晚些時(shí)候回來(lái)。雖然我們是去巴黎慶祝紀(jì)念日，但卻讓人感覺(jué)更像是赴一個(gè)葬禮。飛機(jī)到達(dá)巴黎時(shí)，候機(jī)大廳里昏暗陰沉，空空蕩蕩。天開(kāi)始飄起雪花，寒風(fēng)瑟瑟。乘客比出租車(chē)還多，所以最后我們只好和在海關(guān)出口碰到的一個(gè)女人共乘一輛車(chē)。這個(gè)女人是律師，從倫敦來(lái)巴黎開(kāi)會(huì)。雖然她漂亮迷人，我卻沒(méi)有心情來(lái)搭理她。但是在我們?nèi)ナ袇^(qū)的路上，我卻和她調(diào)起情來(lái)。當(dāng)克洛艾想加入進(jìn)來(lái)時(shí)，我打斷她，專(zhuān)門(mén)（富有誘惑力地）和那個(gè)女人講話(huà)。但是成功地引發(fā)妒忌取決于一個(gè)重要的因素：目標(biāo)觀(guān)眾有在乎的趨勢(shì)。因而恐怖主義式的妒忌通常是一場(chǎng)賭博：為了使克洛艾心生妒忌，我應(yīng)該做到什么程度？如果她毫無(wú)反應(yīng)怎么辦？她會(huì)不會(huì)藏起妒忌，接受我的挑戰(zhàn)（就如那些政客在電視上宣布自己對(duì)恐怖主義的威脅毫不在意一樣）？或者，她是不是真的并不在乎？我無(wú)從確定。但是可以確信無(wú)疑的一點(diǎn)就是，克洛艾沒(méi)有表現(xiàn)出給我?guī)?lái)快感的那種妒忌。當(dāng)我們過(guò)了很久終于在雅各布街的一個(gè)小旅館里安頓下來(lái)時(shí)，克洛艾甚至顯得更高興了。

9. Terrorists take a gamble in assuming that their actions will prove terrifying enough to provide a form of bargaining power. There is the story of a wealthy Italian businessman who, late one afternoon, received a phone call in his office from a terrorist gang, telling him that they had kidnapped his youngest daughter. A huge sum was stipulated as ransom, and the threat levelled that if it wasn't paid, the daughter would never be seen alive again. But the businessman casually replied that, if they killed the girl, they would in fact be doing him a huge favour. He had ten children, he explained wearily, and they had all been a great disappointment and a trial to him, expensive to keep and the unfortunate result of only a few moments of exertion in the bedroom on his part. The ransom would not be paid, and if they wanted to kill her, that was their choice. And with that blunt message, the businessman put down the phone. Within hours, the girl was released.恐怖分子在假設(shè)自己的行為會(huì)恐怖得足以產(chǎn)生達(dá)成協(xié)議的威力時(shí)，他們是在進(jìn)行一場(chǎng)賭博。有個(gè)故事講述一位富有的意大利商人，有天下午在辦公室接到一伙恐怖分子打來(lái)的電話(huà)告訴他說(shuō)，他們綁架了他的小女兒。在開(kāi)出巨大的贖金數(shù)目后，他們還威脅說(shuō)，如果不付贖金，他就別想見(jiàn)到女兒活著回來(lái)。但是這位商人處亂不驚，他隨意地回答道，如果他們殺了他女兒，反倒幫了他的大忙。他解釋說(shuō)，他有十個(gè)孩子，個(gè)個(gè)讓他失望，都給他惹麻煩，養(yǎng)育他們要花很多錢(qián)。對(duì)他來(lái)說(shuō)，不幸的結(jié)果只是在床上躺上幾天，他不會(huì)付贖金，如果他們要?dú)ⅲ蔷蜌⒑昧?。說(shuō)完這些生硬的話(huà)，商人就放下了電話(huà)?？植乐髁x團(tuán)伙相信了他，幾個(gè)小時(shí)之后，他女兒就被放了出來(lái)。

10. It was still snowing when we awoke the next morning, but it was too warm for it to settle, so the pavements turned to mud, brown beneath a low grey sky. We had decided to visit the Mus閑 d'Orsay after breakfast, and planned to go on to a cinema in the afternoon. I had just shut the door to the hotel room, when Chloe asked me brusquely, 'Have you got the key?'當(dāng)我們第二天早上醒來(lái)時(shí)，雪還在下著。不過(guò)天氣很暖和，雪一下就融化了，于是道路上一片泥濘，臟兮兮的。灰蒙蒙的天空壓得很低。我們已經(jīng)計(jì)劃好吃完早餐去參觀(guān)巴黎奧賽博物館，下午去看電影。我剛關(guān)上旅館的門(mén)，克洛艾就生硬地問(wèn)道：“你帶了鑰匙沒(méi)有？”

'No,' I answered, 'you told me a minute ago you had it.'“沒(méi)有，”我回答說(shuō)，“你剛才說(shuō)你帶了?！?/p>

'Did I? No, I didn't,' said Chloe, 'I don't have the key. You've just locked us out.'“我？人沒(méi)有，”克洛艾說(shuō)，“我沒(méi)帶鑰匙，你把我們鎖在外面了?！?/p>

'I haven't locked us out. I shut the door thinking you had the key, because the key wasn't where I left it.'“我可沒(méi)有把我們鎖在外面。我鎖門(mén)時(shí)是想你把鑰匙帶著的，因?yàn)殍€匙不在我放的那個(gè)地方。”

'Well, that's really silly of you, because I don't have it either, so we're locked out ?thanks to you.'“你真是荒謬，我也沒(méi)有帶，是你忘了帶鑰匙，不要再怪我。”

'Thanks to me! For Heaven's sake, stop blaming me for the fact that it was you who forgot the key.'“責(zé)任不在我?！?/p>

'I had nothing to do with the key.'

At that moment, Chloe turned towards the lifts, and (with novelistic timing) the room key fell out of her coat pocket onto the maroon carpet of the hotel.說(shuō)完這話(huà)，克洛艾轉(zhuǎn)身走向電梯，（就如小說(shuō)中的情節(jié)一樣）鑰匙從她的大衣兜里掉下來(lái)，落在旅館紫褐色的地毯上。

'Oh, I'm sorry. I did have it all along, oh, well,' said Chloe.“天啊，對(duì)不起。我確實(shí)帶了，天啊，”克洛艾說(shuō)道。

But I decided I would not forgive her with ease, and snapped, 'That's it,' and headed for the stairs silently and melodramatically, Chloe calling after me, 'Wait, don't be silly, where are you going? I said I was sorry.'但是我決定不輕易原諒她，怒聲說(shuō)“是的”，然后就默默地朝樓梯走去，如同情節(jié)劇里的動(dòng)作一般?？寺灏诤竺娼兄遥骸暗鹊任遥灰@樣，你去哪？我說(shuō)過(guò)了對(duì)不起?！?/p>

11. A structurally successful terroristic sulk must be sparked by some wrong-doing, however small, on the part of the sulked, and yet is marked by a disproportion between insult inflicted and sulk elicited, drawing a punishment bearing little relation to the severity of the original offence - and one that cannot easily be resolved through normal channels. I had been waiting to sulk Chloe for a long time, but to begin sulking when one has not been wronged in any definite way is counter-productive, for there is a danger the partner will not notice and guilt not flourish.成功偽裝的恐怖主義式生氣必須是由某個(gè)過(guò)失行為觸發(fā)，不管過(guò)失是多么微不足道，標(biāo)志就是遭受侮辱和生氣產(chǎn)生之間不成比例，做出一個(gè)與起初觸怒的嚴(yán)重性聯(lián)系很小的懲罰——不能通過(guò)正常的渠道輕易地得以解決的懲罰。我已經(jīng)等待了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間要對(duì)克洛艾發(fā)火，但是，對(duì)一個(gè)并沒(méi)有做錯(cuò)什么的人發(fā)火會(huì)產(chǎn)生相反的效果，因?yàn)榘閭H不會(huì)覺(jué)察到，內(nèi)疚也就不會(huì)產(chǎn)生。

12. I could briefly have shouted at Chloe, she back at me, and then our argument over the room key would have unwound itself. At the basis of all sulks lies a wrong that might have been addressed and disappeared at once, but that instead is taken by the injured partner and stored for later and more painful detonation. Delays in explanations give grievances a weight that they would lack if the matter had been addressed as soon as it had arisen. To display anger shortly after an offence occurs is the most generous thing one may do, for it saves the sulked from the burgeoning of guilt and the need to talk the sulker down from his or her battlement. I did not wish to do Chloe such a favour, so I walked out of the hotel alone and headed towards Saint-Germain, where I spent two hours browsing in a series of bookshops. Then, instead of returning to the hotel to leave a message, I ate lunch alone in a restaurant, then went to see two films in a row, eventually returning to the hotel at seven o'clock in the evening.我本可以草率地對(duì)克洛艾吼叫，她也回?fù)粑摇Ｈ缓笥煞块g鑰匙引發(fā)的爭(zhēng)吵就可以自行解決。所有的生氣產(chǎn)生于過(guò)錯(cuò)，這過(guò)錯(cuò)也許可以解決，從而頃刻消失。如果不是這樣，受傷的一方對(duì)此耿耿于懷，就將導(dǎo)致日后更痛苦的爆發(fā)。問(wèn)題一出現(xiàn)就得到解決，就不會(huì)因解釋延遲而怨憤深重。觸怒之后立刻發(fā)火是最為寬宏大量的，因?yàn)檫@樣就可以使冒犯者不會(huì)過(guò)于內(nèi)疚，也不需要?jiǎng)裾f(shuō)生氣者息怒。我不想讓克洛艾得到這個(gè)便宜，所以獨(dú)自一人走出旅館，向圣日耳曼走去，在那里的書(shū)店逛了兩個(gè)小時(shí)，接著我沒(méi)有回旅館給克洛區(qū)留口信，而是獨(dú)自一人去餐館吃了午飯，然后連續(xù)看了兩場(chǎng)電影，在晚上七點(diǎn)鐘時(shí)回到旅館。

13. The key point about terrorism is that it is primarily designed to attract attention, a form of psychological warfare with goals (for instance, the creation of a Palestinian state) unrelated to military techniques (opening fire in the arrival lounge of Lod Airport). There is a discrepancy between means and ends, a sulk being used to make a point relatively unconnected to the sulk itself ?I am angry at you for accusing me of losing the key symbolizing the wider (but unspeakable) message I am angry at you for no longer loving me.恐怖主義的關(guān)鍵就在于首先是為了引起注意，是目標(biāo)（比如說(shuō)巴基斯坦建國(guó)）與戰(zhàn)術(shù)（在羅得機(jī)場(chǎng)的候機(jī)廳的掃射）毫無(wú)關(guān)聯(lián)的心理戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，方式和結(jié)果并不一致，發(fā)泄怒火與生氣本身并無(wú)相應(yīng)的聯(lián)系。因?yàn)槟阒肛?zé)我丟了鑰匙，所以我氣惱，這代表一個(gè)更寬泛（但無(wú)法表達(dá)）的信息：因?yàn)槟悴辉賽?ài)我，所以我氣惱。

14. Chloe was no brute and, whatever I might claim, had generous tendencies for self-blame. She had tried to follow me to Saint-Germain, but had lost me in the crowd. She had returned to the hotel, waited a while, and then gone to the Mus閑 d'Orsay. When I finally came back to the room, I found her resting in bed, but without speaking to her, went into the bathroom and took a long shower.不論怎么說(shuō)，克洛艾并不算是殘忍無(wú)情，她也在深深地自責(zé)。她曾試圖跟我去圣日耳曼，但在人群中走散了，只好回到旅館，等了一會(huì)兒，又去了奧賽博物館。當(dāng)我最終回到房間時(shí)，她正在床上休息，不過(guò)我沒(méi)有理她，徑直走進(jìn)浴室，洗了很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的澡。

15.The sulker is a complicated creature, giving off messages of deep ambivalence, crying out for help and attention, while at the same time rejecting it should it be offered, wanting to be understood without needing to speak. Chloe asked if she could be forgiven, saying she hated to leave arguments unresolved and wanted us to spend a pleasant anniversary evening that night. I said nothing. Unable to express the full extent of my anger with her (an anger that had nothing to do with a key), I had grown unreasonable. Why had it become so hard for me to say what I meant? Because of the danger of communicating my real grievance: that Chloe had ceased to love me. My hurt was so inexpressible, had so little to do with a forgotten key, that I would have looked like a fool to bring the matter up at this stage. My anger was hence forced underground. Unable to say directly what I meant, I resorted to symbolizing meaning, half hoping, half dreading that the symbol would be decoded.生氣的人是一個(gè)復(fù)雜的動(dòng)物，發(fā)出極度矛盾的信息，哀求著救助與關(guān)注，然而當(dāng)這一切到來(lái)時(shí)，卻又拒絕，希望無(wú)須言語(yǔ)就可以得到理解?？寺灏瑔?wèn)我可不可以原諒她，說(shuō)她討厭不把爭(zhēng)端解決掉，說(shuō)希望我們那天晚上過(guò)一個(gè)愉快的紀(jì)念日。我一言不發(fā)。我無(wú)法對(duì)她表達(dá)我全部的怒火（與鑰匙毫無(wú)關(guān)系的怒火），我已經(jīng)變得不合情理。為什么說(shuō)出我的意圖這么艱難？因?yàn)榕c克洛艾交流我真正的怨憤——她不再愛(ài)我了，存在危險(xiǎn)。我的創(chuàng)傷是如此的無(wú)法表達(dá)，與那把忘了的鑰匙聯(lián)系太小，以至在此刻說(shuō)出真相只會(huì)過(guò)于愚笨。我的怒火因而只能埋藏在內(nèi)心深處。我無(wú)法直抒我的心意，只能求援于鑰匙的象征意義，半是期盼，半是害怕這符號(hào)被破解。

16. After my shower, we finally made it up over the key incident, and went out for dinner to a restaurant on the 蝜e de la Cit? We were both on best behaviour, keen to avoid tensions, chatting on neutral territory about books, films, and capital cities. It might have seemed (from the waiter's point of view) that the couple was indeed a happy one ?and that romantic terrorism had scored a significant victory.洗完澡后，我們終于平息了鑰匙事件，一起到城市之島的一個(gè)餐館吃晚飯。我們都盡量表現(xiàn)得最好，極力避免緊張氣氛，主要談?wù)摃?shū)、電影和一些首都?？雌饋?lái)（在服務(wù)員的眼中）我們這一對(duì)真是非常幸福美滿(mǎn)——愛(ài)情恐怖主義大獲全勝。

17. Yet ordinary terrorists have a distinct advantage over romantic terrorists, the fact that their demands (however outrageous) do not include the most outrageous demand of all, the demand to be loved. I knew that the happiness we were enjoying that evening in Paris was illusory, because the love that Chloe was displaying had not been given spontaneously. It was the love of a woman who feels guilty for the fact she has ceased to feel affection, but who nevertheless attempts a display of loyalty (as much to convince herself as her partner). Hence my evening was not a happy one: my sulk had worked, but its success had been empty.然而一般的恐怖分子有一個(gè)明顯優(yōu)于愛(ài)情恐怖分子的優(yōu)勢(shì)，他們的要求（不論有多么無(wú)禮）不包括最無(wú)禮的那一個(gè)，即要求被人愛(ài)戀。我知道那天晚上我們?cè)诎屠柘硎艿男腋Ｊ翘摷俚?，因?yàn)榭寺灏憩F(xiàn)出來(lái)的愛(ài)并非發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心。那是一個(gè)因?yàn)椴辉儆袗?ài)而心懷內(nèi)疚，但又試圖表示忠誠(chéng)（既想使自己相信，又要伴侶接受）的女人的愛(ài)。所以，那個(gè)夜晚我并無(wú)幸?？裳裕何业纳鷼馄鹆俗饔?，但它獲得的成功卻空洞虛幻。

18. Though ordinary terrorists may occasionally force concessions from governments by blowing up buildings or school children, romantic terrorists are doomed to disappointment because of a fundamental inconsistency in their approach. You must love me, says the romantic terrorist, I will force you to love me by sulking you or making you feel jealous, but then comes the paradox, for if love is returned, it is at once considered tainted, and the romantic terrorist must complain, "If I have only forced you to love me, then I cannot accept this love, for it was not spontaneously given." Romantic terrorism is a demand that negates itself in the process of its resolution, it brings the terrorist up against an uncomfortable reality ?that love's death cannot be arrested.雖然一般的恐怖分子通過(guò)炸毀建筑物或槍殺學(xué)生偶爾可以迫使政府作出讓步，但是愛(ài)情恐怖分子因?yàn)閼B(tài)度存在根本的前后矛盾注定會(huì)失望落寞。你必須愛(ài)我，愛(ài)情恐怖分子說(shuō)，我通過(guò)惹你生氣或讓你妒忌使你來(lái)愛(ài)我。但是，矛盾出現(xiàn)了，因?yàn)槿绻麗?ài)情回歸，只會(huì)立刻被當(dāng)作是變味的愛(ài)情，愛(ài)情恐怖分子必定會(huì)抱怨說(shuō)，如果是我迫使你愛(ài)我，那么我不能接受這份愛(ài)，因?yàn)檫@不是發(fā)自?xún)?nèi)心的愛(ài)。愛(ài)情恐怖主義必然要在解決問(wèn)題的過(guò)程是否定自己，這就向恐怖分子提出了一個(gè)難以接受的現(xiàn)實(shí)——愛(ài)情死亡的腳步無(wú)法止住。

19. As we walked back towards the hotel, Chloe slipped her hand in my coat pocket and kissed me on the cheek. I did not return her kiss, not because a kiss was not the most desired conclusion to a terrible day, but simply because I could no longer feel Chloe's kiss to be genuine. I had lost the will to force love on its unwilling recipient.當(dāng)我們走著回旅館時(shí)，克洛艾把她的一只手插在我的大衣口袋里，吻著我的面頰。我沒(méi)有回吻她，不是因?yàn)橛H吻并非這糟糕的一天中最讓人向往的結(jié)束，只是因?yàn)槲也辉俑惺艿娇寺灏奈鞘浅鲇谡嫘膶?shí)意。我已經(jīng)不想再把愛(ài)強(qiáng)加給一個(gè)并不情愿的接受者。