1 The Problem of Identity Normally, people don't ask themselves, Who am I?

——2023.12.19 開始讀這本書。昨天在團(tuán)體里還說起Who am I ? 今年這一年我都在拼圖Who? am? I ? 突然間有一種感覺是身體可以把我們帶往意識很深的地方，而在那里，我們可以更多的理解自己，理解自己的生命。在買的很多Lowen的書里想著看哪一本，最后決定開始看《The? Betrayal of? the? Body》這本。這本書寫的是什么不得而知，就是順著自己的感覺來吧。半年的時(shí)間和它在一起。

One's identity is taken for granted.Each person carries in his wallet papers that serve to identify him.Consciously, he knows who he is. However, below the surface a problem of identity exists. On the border of consciousness he is disturbed by dissatisfactions,uneasy about decisions, and tormented by the feeling of “missing out” on life.

——我在想，我們不知道我是誰，是頭腦和身體分離的太久了。頭腦沒有辦法理解身體的發(fā)生，而當(dāng)和身體失聯(lián)的時(shí)候，身份的認(rèn)同就會出現(xiàn)分裂。讀到這里，感覺到頭腦和身體好像被分割為兩個(gè)部分，不能有效的整合統(tǒng)一。

He is in conflict with himself, unsure of his feelings, and his insecurity reflects his problem of identity. When dissatisfaction becomes despair and insecurity verges on panic an individual may ask himself, Who am I?

——我在嘗試Lowen所描述的情形，就我此刻的理解。和自己有沖突，不確定自己的感覺；不安全感接近了恐慌。這些好像都在描述和身體發(fā)生的一種感覺。頭腦不理解身體所以會產(chǎn)生沖突，而不理解又會讓安全的體驗(yàn)更加恐懼。

This question indicates that the facade through which a person seeks identity is crumbling. The use of a facade or the adoption of a role as a means to achieve identity denotes a split between the ego and the body. I define this split as the schizoid disturbance which underlies every problem of identity.

——自我和身體之間的分裂，我的畫面里有一個(gè)人從脖子那里截?cái)?，頭腦是頭腦的，身體是身體的瘦弱的樣子。

For example, a famous artist walked into my office and said, “I am confused and desperate. I don't know who I am. I walk down the street and ask myself, Who are you?”

——who am i 各個(gè)學(xué)科生命的終極問題，我突然能感受到這個(gè)藝術(shù)家頭腦和身體的失聯(lián)，找不到自己的痛苦。

It would have been meaningless to reply, “You are the well-known painter whose work hangs in many museums.” He knew that. What he complained of was a loss of the fecling of self, the loss of contact with some vital aspect of existence that gives meaning to life.This missing element was an identification with the body, the foundation upon which a personal life is erected. My artist patient became actively aware of this missing element in a dramatic experience.He told me:

——

The other day I looked in the mirror, and I became frightened when I realized it was me.I thought, This is what people see when they look at me.

——“有一天，我照了照鏡子，就嚇壞了。當(dāng)我意識到那是我自己時(shí)，我想，這就是當(dāng)他們看著我時(shí)，人們所看到的?！边@個(gè)體驗(yàn)是一樣一樣的……省略

The feeling of identity stems from a feeling of contact with

the body. To know who one is, an individual must be aware of what he feels.He should know the expression on his face, how he holds himself, and the way he moves.Without this awareness of bodily feeling and attitude, a person becomes split into a

disembodied spirit and a disenchanted body. I will return again to the case of the artist.

——身份感是源于一種與身體接觸的感覺。這句話讓那我可以更多的理解身體的重要性，如果分裂成了沒有肉體的精神和沒有靈魂的肉體，靈與肉是分離的。讀到此刻，我在想靈與肉是分離的，那是多么難的聯(lián)結(jié)在一起啊。整個(gè)人感覺是飄飄的。

As he sat opposite me, I saw his drawn face, his empty eyes, his tightly set jaw, and his frozen body.In his immobility and shallow breathing, I could sense his fear and panic.He, however, was not aware of the gauntness of his face, the blankness of his eyes, the tension in his jaw, or the tightness of his body. He did not feel his fear and panic.Being out of touch with his body, he only sensed his confusion and desperation.

坐在我對面時(shí)，我看到了他那，他的空眼睛，

——我在感受著Lowen的這段話——憔悴的臉、他緊緊的下巴、硬的身體、不動、呼吸淺、恐懼和恐慌、茫然眼睛、緊張下巴、緊繃的身體、恐懼和恐慌。我深深地體驗(yàn)到他所描述的狀態(tài)，我和我自己的生命體驗(yàn)對照著。我在想著為了什么這本書叫身體的背叛,我現(xiàn)在猜測是不是身體沒有呈現(xiàn)出原本的樣子，它也沒有做自己。

The complete loss of body contact characterizes the schizophrenic state. Broadly speaking, the schizophrenic doesn't know who he is, and is so much out of touch with reality that he cannot even phrase the question.

他完全失去身體接觸是精神分裂癥狀態(tài)的特征。總的來說，這個(gè)精神分裂癥患者并不知道自己是誰，而且他與現(xiàn)實(shí)非常脫節(jié)，因此他甚至無法表達(dá)這個(gè)問題。

The image was a stranger. My face and my body didn't seem to belong to me...I felt very unreal.

的確“這個(gè)形象是個(gè)陌生人?！蔽耶?dāng)時(shí)在想，這個(gè)是我嗎？我是這樣的嗎？我是這樣走路的嗎？“覺得很不真實(shí)。” Lowen的書讓我在自己這里拓展的特別的多，我在想猶如薩提亞里面的求生存的應(yīng)對姿態(tài)一樣，人格結(jié)構(gòu)是也每個(gè)人或多或少都有其它的部分。

This experience, in which there is a loss of feeling of the body,with accompanying sensations of strangeness and unreality, is known

as a depersonalization. It denotes a break with reality and occurs in thefirst stages of a psychotic episode.If it continues, the person loses not

only the feeling of identity but also his conscious awareness of identity.Fortunately, this episode was short-lived in my patient. He was able to

reestablish some contact with his body, so that the feeling of unrealitydisappeared. However, his identification with his body remained tenuous,

and the problem of his identity persisted.

—我和Lowen的書太有聯(lián)結(jié)了，生命怎么會如此的相遇呢？與身體的聯(lián)結(jié)，找回身份認(rèn)同的意識。我現(xiàn)在有一些能理解人格結(jié)構(gòu)的魅力了，好像是在很深的地方與之相遇的感覺。