M1課堂上,吳導(dǎo)讓每個(gè)人選擇自己最看重的三條價(jià)值觀,并寫出人生中最成功和最失敗的事,以此檢視自己的價(jià)值觀。
在分組討論環(huán)節(jié)小組同學(xué)說“我覺得有好多價(jià)值觀都符合喔”,當(dāng)時(shí)我有個(gè)疑惑:“為什么只能選3個(gè)呢,不能多選一些嗎?”
這個(gè)問題經(jīng)過幾天無意識(shí)地醞釀,今天冒出了一個(gè)觀點(diǎn):其實(shí)價(jià)值觀并不限于3個(gè),課堂上只是由于時(shí)間有限,為了講解方便而已。
經(jīng)過對自我價(jià)值觀的分析和解讀,大家都理解了價(jià)值觀對自己人生的重要性:價(jià)值觀引發(fā)信念、信念引發(fā)選擇、選擇引發(fā)行動(dòng)、行動(dòng)引發(fā)結(jié)果。而關(guān)于這個(gè)主題,“我寫下的價(jià)值觀,是我擁有的,還是我向往的?”,周同學(xué)提出的這個(gè)問題,突然提醒了我——要看未來!
現(xiàn)有價(jià)值觀的形成是長期的人生經(jīng)歷中所有的輸入對個(gè)人的影響,最終凝結(jié)成某種價(jià)值觀。而如果我想擁有某種價(jià)值觀,那就應(yīng)該選擇向自我注入相應(yīng)的經(jīng)歷和信息。
富蘭克林在他的《自傳》開篇,列出了十三條道德準(zhǔn)則,他每天都會(huì)檢視一次,并在表格里做上記號,據(jù)說他本人也沒有完全做到自己要求的那樣完美,但這也不妨礙他成為一個(gè)受人敬仰的智者。
教練是不斷向內(nèi)探索的過程,不僅是讓客戶向內(nèi)探索,更是讓自己向內(nèi)探索。沒有誰決定價(jià)值觀應(yīng)該有多少個(gè),每個(gè)個(gè)體正是因此而大不相同,人生的可能性正在于此。找到和塑造自己的價(jià)值觀組合,讓它成為一個(gè)平衡輪,會(huì)是個(gè)很有意思的過程吧!
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附:富蘭克林道德準(zhǔn)則 十三條
1. 節(jié)制:食不過飽,飲不過量;
TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. 節(jié)言:于人于己不利的話不說,避免瑣碎的閑聊;
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. 秩序:物件有所歸,辦事有定時(shí);
ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. 決心:該做的事情一定要做,決心要做的事情一定要做好;
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. 節(jié)儉:花錢要于人于已有利,決不浪費(fèi);
FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. 勤勞:珍惜時(shí)間, 時(shí)間要花在做有用的事情上,力戒無意義的舉動(dòng);
INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. 誠實(shí):力戒虛偽欺詐,心存良知與公正,說話亦如此;
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. 正直:不做有損他人的事情,要做對人們有益的事情,這是你的義務(wù);
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. 中庸:不走極端, 別人對你的冒犯, 若是正當(dāng),就要善于容忍;
MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. 整潔:身體、衣物以及住所,要保持清潔;
CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11. 寧靜:對待瑣事、平常事或者不可避免之事,不可自擾;
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. 貞潔:不要縱欲過度,有傷身體,切忌損害自己或者他人的安寧和名譽(yù);
CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. 謙虛:仿效耶穌與蘇格拉底。
HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.