The wind is roaming outside, all night without a break.
After a tiring, long day, I’m lying in bed, upsetly. The thought that this is not and will not be the least happy day in my life only makes me gloomier.
I read Hayek for a class I’m interested in but cannot like because of a lot of other uncontrollable things (well what is controllable in life anyway). I accidentially printed almost half of the whole book of the Chinese version of The Road To Serfdom. Maybe it will just end up like the other copies I got, being lost in the piles of messes on my desk. Or maybe I’ll suddenly have the mood to read and finish them all in one day. Of course, not for the damn class that I looked forwarded to so much, but only got equally, if not more, intense disappointment as a return(the destructive power of disappointment never disappoints me though).
Why people annoy me so much, although they’re not had people and I know it? The problem is me, I guess. I dislike others easily. I judge too much. Unfortunately I cannot turn off my sensor of braggers and arrogant scumbags even though I really want too. Being too sensitive is of no use but pain. And karma is a bitch: I suffer from all the annoyance that I deserve, by disliking others. I should stop, just to give myself a break. I need to stop hating myself too. In the end it all comes down to self. Self-centered egoistic bastard. I’m exactly what I hate.
