終于完成豆子女士的這篇文章的翻譯工作，自己在放下這么多年后重新學(xué)習(xí)英語，第一次嘗試翻譯文章，對(duì)于我來說已經(jīng)是一個(gè)宏大的工程了，攢了近兩周才完成，僅此一篇，就發(fā)現(xiàn)自己在英語學(xué)習(xí)中的許多問題，當(dāng)然困難重重下也不乏樂趣，希望自己能堅(jiān)持下去。原文及翻貼如下，供各路高手批評(píng)指正。
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（以下是原文和翻譯內(nèi)容，請(qǐng)不吝賜教)
這樣的文章應(yīng)該說閱讀量挺大的，初看也覺得蠻有道理，尤其是那些過著并不如意婚姻生活的人，讀來該是頭如搗蒜，呃呃不能再同意吧。
The articles like this should have been read in a quite big quantity. In the first glance,its look like very reasonable, especially by the people who live in an unsatisfied marriage, and at that time,they should have nodded their head and couldn't agree more.
可是仔細(xì)想一下，好像這里面有個(gè)概念錯(cuò)誤，仿佛婚姻與自己是兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的個(gè)體，誰遇到誰便怎樣，可是婚姻不是兩個(gè)人共同建立的嗎，而婚姻走到哪一步，不管是好的還是壞的，起碼要各負(fù)一半的責(zé)任，有的婚姻甚至自己負(fù)責(zé)要更多，這個(gè)很難量化。
But if we think about it carefully, there appears a conceptual mistake, as if marriage and ourselves are two separate individuals, someone meets another one and then they will be.However marriage is a combination of two persons, isn’t it? And no matter where marriage goes to, whether it's good or bad,any part in the marriage has a half responsibility, sometimes even more. It’s hard to quantify.
也就是說，婚姻的好與壞你要負(fù)一半甚至一半以上的責(zé)任，怎么叫你遇到壞婚姻？
That is to say,no matter good or bad in marriage, we have a half or more responsibility.So,how can you say that you meet a bad marriage?
另外，在這文章里舉的例子是如果你不夠好，遇到更好的會(huì)把你影像的更好的句子。誠然，如果你的伴侶足夠優(yōu)秀可以對(duì)你有很多積極的影響不假，可是為什么我們會(huì)一廂情愿的要求別人足夠好影響帶動(dòng)我們，為什么不是我們足夠好影響對(duì)方那，這樣的想象是不是推卸責(zé)任？是不是把自己提高的責(zé)任壓到別人肩上？我不夠好，是因?yàn)槟悴缓茫驗(yàn)槟悴缓?，所以我遇到的是壞的婚姻，這是不是一種嬰兒的全能自戀？如果自己不能擔(dān)負(fù)自己成長的責(zé)任，怎么在婚姻遇到問題時(shí)幫助對(duì)方？你的配偶難道是一個(gè)完美到何時(shí)何地任何年齡情況下都不會(huì)脆弱不犯錯(cuò)誤的完人嗎？退一步講，如果他是，你是否足夠好能配的上他？
In addition, the example in the article is that if you're not good enough,you’ll still have the chance to be affected and become better when you meet a good another.Of course, if your marital partner is good enough to you, he or she can give you a lot of positive affections.But why you tend to ask others to be good enough to influence you?Why shouldn’t be yourself?You become the good one to affect others. Is that the imagination which to shirk responsibility? Is it put the pressure of improvement to other's shoulders? "I'm not good enough, because you are not good,then because you are not good, so I meet a bad marriage".that is a baby's narcissism,isn't it? If you can not grow up by your own responsibility,how to help another one when problems happened in your marriage?Is your spouse a perfect one who isn’t fragile and not make any mistake in anytime and anywhere? Or on the other way, if he or she is that perfect one,are you good enough for matching ?
我們?cè)谠u(píng)價(jià)自己伴侶時(shí)經(jīng)常進(jìn)入這樣的誤區(qū)：我當(dāng)初怎么會(huì)找了他，我一定是上當(dāng)了。這也是一種全能自戀，就是我對(duì)于這個(gè)結(jié)果不負(fù)責(zé)任，都是別人騙我的，我是無辜又可憐的。錯(cuò)!你當(dāng)初和誰在一起是你自己的意愿，也就是說，當(dāng)時(shí)當(dāng)?shù)啬阕龀鲎钣欣约旱倪x擇，如果當(dāng)初“被騙”，也是“受騙”滿足了你當(dāng)時(shí)的心理需要而已，你的責(zé)任。
We often make the mistakes when we evaluate our partner like this:“How could I find him or her, I must be cheated". This is also a kind of universal narcissism,and means that "I can be irresponsible for this result,I am tricked,and I am innocent and poor.” But that’s wrong! Being together with somebody was your own will at the beginning, that is to say, you made the best choice at that time and in the conditions,if you had been cheated,that was the psychological needs for you by that cheat,it was your fault.
那么我們要怎樣擔(dān)負(fù)起婚姻的責(zé)任那，只能是提高自己內(nèi)在的能力，首先在心理上成長為可以為自己行為負(fù)責(zé)的成年人，然后找尋自己的成長機(jī)會(huì)，豐富自己，成為自己?；橐鲂枰?jīng)營，兩個(gè)人都有責(zé)任，但是如果你是那個(gè)心理上成熟一點(diǎn)的，你可以幫助你的伴侶走出陰影也是很好的事。肉爛在自家鍋里，分什么你的我的，只是，我們不要讓自己變成在鍋邊哀哀待哺的孩子，對(duì)方不添柴，我就吃不上飯，因?yàn)槲覜]找到一口好鍋啊，我好可憐。
So,how should we undertake the responsibility of our marriages?The only way is to improve our own internal ability. First,grow up to be adults who can take the responsibility of our behaviors on the psychological way, and then find our opportunities for growth, enrich ourselves, be yourself. Marriage needs the management, it is the responsibility of two people, if you are the maturer one in psychological sense,it’s a good thing while you can help your partner walk out of the shadow.Cooking meats in a pot,how can you know which is yours and which is mine.The point is that we can’t allow ourselves becoming a kid who want to be fed, and consider that“if my partner don’t cook,I will have nothing to eat,I am so poor!”
去找些柴來吧，一起燒熱這口鍋，溫暖的家的鍋。
Therefore,find some wood,cook together and warm your home now.
