【原創(chuàng)·文/譯文】
精靈收起回憶，傾聽(tīng)金龜子彈奏的一曲月光小調(diào)。
他們成了朋友，共同在這個(gè)狹窄的花草的世界游行，借著一道短短的生命之光。
在離開(kāi)玫瑰姑娘和金龜子的故鄉(xiāng)的時(shí)候，金龜子把一片玫瑰花瓣疊了起來(lái)，藏在背包里，每個(gè)晚上都摟著它，似乎就枕著玫瑰姑娘的清香。而精靈早已不再執(zhí)著，他愛(ài)姑娘們，每到一處地方，總有年輕美麗的姑娘同他相伴，夜晚共同度過(guò)黑暗和寂寞。
而這天晚上，四周都是寂靜，再?zèng)]有吵吵嚷嚷、活潑可愛(ài)的姑娘們了。
月光小調(diào)在金龜子鼻尖一滴碩大的淚水滾落的顫音中結(jié)束了。接著這個(gè)可憐渺小的生物鼓起勇氣，露出一個(gè)大大的微笑。他抱起收藏著花瓣的背包，狠狠地吸了一口氣。
精靈只是靜靜地坐在那里，享受少有的獨(dú)處的清靜。
這是一個(gè)很奇妙的林子，有些神秘，異常優(yōu)雅。每一片草葉的卷兒似乎都經(jīng)過(guò)了精心的設(shè)計(jì)，像女人的長(zhǎng)發(fā)一樣?jì)趁膭?dòng)人，又有天鵝的頸的舒展優(yōu)美。
他已經(jīng)記不清多久沒(méi)能這么靜靜地欣賞四周的景物了，因?yàn)檫^(guò)去的很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間，他都忙著同姑娘們打交道。他經(jīng)歷了形形色色的女人，玫瑰姑娘盡管是其中很美的一個(gè)，但她并不是“難忘”的，因?yàn)槟贻p漂亮的姑娘太多了，好像春天雖然美，但是對(duì)于一個(gè)已經(jīng)成年的人來(lái)說(shuō)，最初的一聲鳥(niǎo)鳴不再能像童年時(shí)敲開(kāi)他心肺一樣，那么使人心潮澎湃。至于他的第一朵花，她像一條冗長(zhǎng)曲折的走廊盡頭遙遠(yuǎn)的影，他再也看不清，她獨(dú)特的清香和色調(diào)也早已在他記憶中模糊。
金龜子不同，他只愛(ài)過(guò)玫瑰姑娘，所以哪怕他并沒(méi)有真正得到過(guò)玫瑰姑娘的愛(ài)情，他對(duì)她的記憶，也比精靈對(duì)她，或?qū)θ魏我粋€(gè)他經(jīng)歷過(guò)的女人，或者他那第一朵花要深刻而真實(shí)。
只是這天晚上，當(dāng)四周都是寂靜的時(shí)候，當(dāng)金龜子眼角掛著一顆淚水，懷里緊緊抱著背包入眠的時(shí)候，精靈突然再次回憶起了寂寞的滋味——好像一壇醇酒，喚起他最初的記憶，嗆得他流淚。
精靈收起翅膀，步行在這片異常優(yōu)美的林子之中。
漸漸的他聽(tīng)到了許多女子的笑聲，循著聲音，他遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)地看到了一座花的宮殿，而在穿過(guò)一片他叫不出名字、飄著許多浪漫的半透明簾子的植物之后，他看到一個(gè)被簇?fù)碇挠喝萑A貴的女子……他不禁輕輕地驚叫出來(lái)：“玫瑰姑娘……”
眾花都笑了。
那個(gè)戴著花冠、最為耀眼的女子也微微地笑了。
他才發(fā)現(xiàn)，她雖然長(zhǎng)得同玫瑰姑娘很像，但她擁有一頭藍(lán)色的夢(mèng)幻般的長(zhǎng)發(fā)，而不是熱情似火的紅發(fā)。
她端詳著他，正如帝王細(xì)看她的臣子。接著她微笑著對(duì)身旁的近侍說(shuō)了些話，精靈被邀請(qǐng)同花的女王共度良宵。
那是一場(chǎng)奢華的酒宴。
精靈從他同其他花的交談中了解到，玫瑰姑娘其實(shí)是女王的妹妹，這就是為什么她能如此長(zhǎng)壽，還能擁有傲人的美麗。只是女王嫉妒同樣王族出生的妹妹，怕她奪走本屬于當(dāng)姐姐的她的地位，加之玫瑰姑娘天生桀驁不馴，不愿接受宮廷中復(fù)雜糜爛的生活，玫瑰姑娘很早就離家出走。這雖然順從了女王的心意，但女王依舊派人追蹤玫瑰的消息，直到她聽(tīng)說(shuō)妹妹消亡在那個(gè)讓她銷魂的精靈的手里。
“所以，女王您也想經(jīng)歷能讓玫瑰銷魂的愛(ài)情？”精靈淡淡地問(wèn)道。
女王嫣然一笑，她身后柔亮的絲綢簾子閃爍著奢華的光澤，精美絕倫的宮廷裝潢叫人如癡如醉。
精靈們生就俘虜女人心靈的魅力。然而女王像玫瑰姑娘一樣接觸過(guò)很多精靈，他不明白，為什么她會(huì)選中他——他只是其中很普通的一個(gè)。
的確第二天，當(dāng)他醒來(lái)的時(shí)候，他發(fā)現(xiàn)宮殿、侍從、女王，都不在了。他明白她拋棄了他；他明白普普通通的自己不能滿足女王的愿望，那大概是過(guò)于奢華的戀愛(ài)，他怎提供得起。所以她不辭而別，所有的她的一切也都通通被帶走，回歸它們?cè)摯嬖诘牡胤饺チ恕?/p>
然而當(dāng)他回到金龜子身邊時(shí)，金龜子戰(zhàn)戰(zhàn)兢兢地把一個(gè)包裹交給了他。
“是什么？”精靈淡淡地問(wèn)道。
絲綢方帕打開(kāi)，一頂花冠展現(xiàn)眼前。
“是……是女王……要我轉(zhuǎn)交給你，”他尖聲尖氣地說(shuō)，“她怕是對(duì)你動(dòng)真情啦！”
精靈微微吃了一驚。
“她還說(shuō)，”金龜子望著精靈的眼里充滿了不必要的崇敬，“她恐怕得走了，要不然，你或許會(huì)害得整個(gè)花的王國(guó)失去她們的首領(lǐng)！”
精靈默默地舉起花冠，一卷印花紙條落了出來(lái)，女王娟秀的字體寫道：
“什么是你的期待？”
生命的最初的迷惘，恐懼、安慰、掙扎、力量的取得……回憶沖擊著他的靈魂，他感到自己似乎被人揪住了翅膀，而那生命的紋理似乎在他眼前展開(kāi)……他拼命地解讀和記憶，那些跳動(dòng)的密碼，從無(wú)形到有形，無(wú)聲到有聲，從毫無(wú)意義到逐漸顯露它們的呼告……
精靈突然飛了起來(lái)，他眼里的神采像他風(fēng)中的頭發(fā)一樣凌亂，有些瘋狂，甚至有些恐怖。
金龜子被嚇壞了，他急忙拎起背包，笨拙地?fù)]動(dòng)起自己的翅膀……女王那頂價(jià)值連城的花冠乒乒乓乓地墜落在地，摔成了花哨的碎片。
精靈突然降落在一片秋日中的荒園里。他腳下的那抔土，陌生而熟悉……上面雖然全是枯枝殘葉，但原先的形狀依稀可見(jiàn)。
……他甚至看到自己最后的那兩個(gè)腳印，被深深掩藏在枯敗的野草梗里。
……甚至看到她美麗的笑容……盡管她失去了生命中最后的水分……
她是美麗的……她注定老去的命運(yùn)是他躲不開(kāi)的傷痛，而這命運(yùn)卻也永遠(yuǎn)抹煞不掉她曾經(jīng)存在的痕跡，哪怕這痕跡是他胸中的痛，抑或是他記憶里永久的幸?！?/p>
精靈像孩子一樣大哭起來(lái)。
金龜子不知所措，但他被這世間最委屈的哭聲所感染，突然間，生命中被笑聲掩藏的苦難似乎都浮現(xiàn)于水面，他看到新生的綠葉，更看到了那些平時(shí)被他忽略的老去的葉子……他聽(tīng)到昔日葬禮的沉寂敲得他耳膜轟轟作響，而周圍又滿是新生的笑聲和最后的呼告，矛盾地交織在一起，熙熙攘攘……
金龜子攤坐在地上，不知為什么，胸中滿是莫名的悲傷，哽得他喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)。
等他再次抬起頭來(lái)的時(shí)候，他發(fā)現(xiàn)精靈不知什么時(shí)候已經(jīng)把兩片翅膀折了下來(lái)，插在那抔小小的土堆上，而精靈本人已經(jīng)消失在他的視野之中。
金龜子環(huán)顧四周，沒(méi)能再瞅見(jiàn)他的背影，卻看到滿滿一個(gè)待人打理的園子。
他在這里安頓下來(lái)，懷里還緊緊摟著收藏著玫瑰花瓣的背包。
冬天是多么的寧?kù)o。
第二年春天的時(shí)候，金龜子發(fā)現(xiàn)那抔土堆上長(zhǎng)出了一株新的草，開(kāi)的是金燦燦的花。
原來(lái)這是蒲公英花。
等花謝后，總有精靈的翅膀般潔白的絨球，每逢清風(fēng)吹過(guò)，純潔的思緒滿空。
而他似乎在爛漫的藍(lán)天中，目光穿過(guò)那些飛舞的潔白的絨毛，看到精靈默默地守著他深愛(ài)的花，耐心地陪她走完命運(yùn)最后一刻的安排，無(wú)論結(jié)局是悲傷還是快樂(lè)。
【完】
The elf put away his memories, and listened to the beetle play a moon melody quietly.
They had become friends, travelling together in a narrow world of flowers and grasses in their briefly lighted lives.
The beetle collected one of the rose petals just before he left where Lady Rose and he had lived, and kept it in a pack bag, holding it during each night, as if he could hence rest his head in the scent of Lady Rose. But the elf had already given up. He loved girls, and he could always find company of pretty young girls wherever he went, killing off the lonely night with them.
However, it was a silent night without a single noisy, lively girl.
The moon melody ended in a vibrato with a huge drop of tear fell off from the beetle’s nose. Then the humble creature raised courage, rewarded himself a big smile. He held up the petal bag, inhaled a mouthful of flower scent.
The elf was just sitting quietly, enjoying the unusual stillness of being alone.
It was a marvellous forest, mysterious and graceful. Each curve of the grass leaf was elaborately designed, charming like women’s long hair, elegant as the long neck of a swan.
He couldn't remember how long it had been for him to enjoy sceneries quietly again, because he had always been busy with girls. He had experienced so many women. Although Lady Rose was a very beautiful one, she was not that unforgettable because there were so many other pretty young girls. Just like although spring was beautiful, for an adult however, the first sound of bird in the spring could not once again touch him and move him like what it had done long ago in his childhood. As for his first flower, she was a distant figure in the end of a curved long corridor and he could not see her clearly anymore. Her unique scent and colour had blurred in his memory.
But the beetle was different as he had only loved Lady Rose. So his memory about Lady Rose was much clearer and more vivid than the impression the elf would have for any of the girls he had experienced, including Lady Rose, though the beetle never won Lady Rose’s heart.
However, the elf suddenly felt lonely again tonight, when everything was in silence, when the beetle was sleeping tight on the petal bag with a drop of tear near his eyes. This loneliness was a mellow wine that retrieved his first memory, choke him to tears.
The elf closed up his wings, walking into the extremely elegant forest.
He could hear laughter of girls getting aloud, and soon he saw a palace of flowers from distance as he followed where the laughter came from. After passing a number of exotic plants hanging romantic translucent curtains, he saw a glorious lady being crowded and couldn’t help calling: “Lady Rose…”
Everybody laughed.?
So did the crowned glorious lady.
Not until then did he find that although she looked alike to Lady Rose, she had magical blue hair instead of passionate red hair.
She looked down at him, just like an empress looked at her subject. Then she smiled and talked to the waiting lady nearby. The elf was invited to spend the night with the Queen of flower.
It was an extravagant dinner.
The elf learnt from the conversation with other flowers that Lady Rose was the younger sister of the Queen, which was why she had such a long life expectancy and impressive beauty. But the Queen was jealous of the royal sister and worried that she might usurp her throne. Lady Rose, however, was so untrammelled and she didn't like the complex and corrupt royal life, and she had left the palace when she was young. This satisfied the Queen’s wish, but she still sent people to know what was going on with Rose, until she learnt that her younger sister died in the hand of the charming elf.
“So, your majesty also want to taste the charming love which had attracted Rose?” the elf asked in calm.
The Queen rewarded him a beautiful smile. The silk curtain behind her flashed extravagantly; the decoration of the palace was so intoxicating.
Elves were born to attract women. But the Queen had met a number of elves just as Lady Rose. So he was so confused why the Queen chose him – he was merely an ordinary.
And he was right. The next morning when he woke up, the palace, the servants as well as the Queen had all disappeared. He knew she abandoned him; he knew such an ordinary as him could not satisfy the wishes of her majesty, which was perhaps too expensive a love for him to afford. Maybe that’s why she left for somewhere they would truly belong to, with all her belongings, and didn’t even say goodbye.
But as he came back, he was given a package by the shivering beetle.
“What’s that?” he asked, unconcerned.
A crown of flower appeared as he unfolded the silk handkerchief.
“The Queen…the Queen told me to hand it to you,” the beetle cried, “perhaps she’s in love with you!”
The elf was a bit surprised.
“And she added,” the beetle stared at the elf with unnecessary admiration, “she had to go now; otherwise you could make the entire kingdom of flowers lose their Queen!”
The elf lifted the crown quietly, and a roll of sealed paper fell out. With neat handwriting of the Queen it said: “What is your expectation?”
The initial confusion of life, fears, comfort, struggle, the gain of power and energy…all the memories were pounding his soul, he felt as if someone captured his wings ruthlessly, and at meantime the codes of lives hidden in the lines and grains of wings were unfolded in front of him…He was striving to decrypt and memorise them: the scrambling codes gradually came into order, becoming acoustic, from meaningless to appealing aloud…
Suddenly the elf flew off. The looks in his eyes were as scattered as his messy hair, crazy and even scary.
The beetle was frightened. He grabbed his bag and started flapping awkwardly…the Queen’s flashy crown fell to the ground into gaudy pieces.
The elf landed in an abandoned garden in the sunshine of autumn. The mound looked strange but familiar… Although it was now covered by withered leaves, the original shape was still faintly visible.
…He could even see his last two feet prints, deeply hidden in the dry weeds.
…Even her beautiful smile appeared…h(huán)er inevitable fate of withering was his unavoidable sorrow. But this miserable destiny could never rub away the evidence of her existence, even if it was the pain in his heart – or instead, the permanent happiness inside his memory…
The elf cried like a little child.
The beetle didn't know what to do, but he was moved by the most wronged cries. All in a sudden, sorrows of life that were hidden by laughter all drifted to the surface. He saw the fresh new leaves, but also the aging and dying ones which used to be neglected…He heard the silence of the funeral, so silent that his ear drum ached, but also the young laughter as well as the last cries of creatures, which mixed up contradictorily, boisterously…
The beetle sat on the ground, exhausted, with strange sorrows fulfilled his heart which choked him so hard.
And when he finally raised his head, he found that somehow the elf had torn down his wings and stuck them into the lump of soil. And the elf had disappeared in his sight.
Instead of seeing the elf again when he looked around, the beetle saw an entire garden that needed caring.
So he settled down here; the petal bag safely in his arms.
How peaceful the winter was.
And when the next spring came, the beetle noticed a new grass growing from the mound, opening golden and shiny flowers.
This was a dandelion.
After the withering of the flowers, there were pompons as white as the wings of an angel.
Each time the breeze came, the innocent thoughts carried by fluffs spread all around.
And when he looked through the floating pure fluffs into the brilliant blue sky, he felt as if he saw the elf again: he was quietly taking care of his favourite flower, patiently accompanying her till the end of her life, no matter happy or sorrow the ending was to be.
[Fin]
【原創(chuàng)于2009年秋，英格蘭，約克；自譯于2011年，約克】
【愿借此以文會(huì)友·歐美文學(xué)粉】
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